Need some words of encouragement

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Permalink Reply by Starr on July 28, 2009 at 4:48pm

Hey KJ! Whassup darling. Well, I have been down this road before when I was younger. Let me just tell you, it doesn't get better. Stop wasting time to see if he really cares about you. He doesn't. When a man lacks the pride to take care of himself and looks to women to take care of him, he he setting himself up for a lifetime of failure. My ex is in exactly the same place, if not worse, than he was when we met 13 years ago. Damn. Yep. Still has no functioning vehicle. He had nice Mustang, but ran it into the ground because he couldn't afford the maintenance, brakes, tires, tune ups. So, then he thought he would be a mechanic. That lasted 5 minutes, and he wasn't very good anyway because he car still sits wherever it is. He still doesn't have his own apartment. He tried that but couldn't afford to keep it, so now he lives with his grandmother. Ah, but I digress. A man like this has many issues with himself and is weak. He doesn't love himself because if he did he would at least have an ounce of pride to do something to better himself rather than depend on a woman or his family to provide him with everything. He can't stand alone. With all that said, no woman that is in his life will be treated with dignity and respect b/c he has none for himself. The easiest way for you to get rid of your feelings for him is to picture a life where you do and pay for everything- always. Picture barely going out on dates, working 2-3 jobs to keep up with the bills, and him constantly cheating on you (because he will need to have revenue coming in, lol), etc. I know that's not what you want since you are on BA, lol. Just come to the realization that he is not for you and count it as a blessing that he is gone. He left kinda easy didn't he? He just showed you right there. Let him keep it moving and lock the revolving door. Focus on being the kind of person you want to attract and delete him from your life permanently in every way. Good luck!

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Permalink Reply by mochagirl on July 28, 2009 at 4:56pm

Aww KJ, hugs!! I was wondering where you've been. You know you deserve better, it'll hurt for a minute but you don't need anyone who uses you or disrespects you.

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Permalink Reply by Sheli on July 28, 2009 at 4:59pm

"Be Yourself, if people don't like you after you be yourself...Fu*k 'em! Fu*k 'em up against the wall with handcuffs on and crazy glue on their lips..." .....BERNIC MAC

No seriously fu*k him, his leaving was probably the best thing he could have done for you. You're young you have your whole life to live, learn from what he put you through and try not to let it happen again, life is about learning from everything you do. Don't let his actions towards you give you a negative outlook on all men!!! It does get better, when you know you are worth better you'll demand better. Don't let him back in your life, I don't care how good the ding was or how much he says he's changed!!! You set the tone on how people treat you, I believe people (men) only do to you what you allow to be done!!! Stay strong good luck!!

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Permalink Reply by Hello Kitty on July 28, 2009 at 6:14pm

You took the first step which is sticking up for yourself! It only gets easier from here. Users and losers usually disappear immediately after you show them you're not a doormat. You may miss him but at the same time you know you did what's right! Good for you, next time it won't be so easy for another guy to take advantage!

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on July 28, 2009 at 6:28pm

You realized your worth, it could've been 6 years later. Count your blessings, and count it up as a lesson learned. Give yourself some "Me" time & move forward.

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Permalink Reply by Cougar $pice on July 28, 2009 at 6:30pm

Hey KJ you saw the writing on the wall, you read it and got out quick. The other women he dated were not this lucky or as tuned in as you. Him disrespecting you is his way of being pissed at himself because he realized he has ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER YOU. Weak men often resort to this tactic when their woman get a backbone.

Read that thread called 'don't date Pastor Troy'.........chica got ruined credit and everything. You're one of the lucky ones, you got out before anymore shenanigans.

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Permalink Reply by Madison on July 28, 2009 at 9:34pm

Sorry to hear that. Thankfully it was only 6 months not 6 years. I know it does not seem like that now. It is a great learning experience, because the next time you sense somebody like that you will run.

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Permalink Reply by EvaW on July 29, 2009 at 2:11am

I'm sorry about the mess u went through. Everybody has gone through a crazy relationship of somesort. I co-sign to Madison, thank god you didn't invest more time in that dead end situation. You learned something valuable in that 6 months: how u don't want to be treated, your worth, your womanly strength... (I could ramble on for 15 minutes, but I'm not gonna do that.)
Pray about it & LET IT GO.
Stay focused.
Stay blessed.
Big hug!

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Permalink Reply by C*u*t*e* on July 29, 2009 at 2:55am

As I always say, Everything happens for a reason and in times like this the outcome was ultimately the best thing that could have happened to you. That saying always makes me feel better because 99.9% of the time it needed to happen for me to become a better person. Learn from this relationship and know that this outcome will be the best for you somehow.

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Permalink Reply by $o $oft N $o $weet on July 29, 2009 at 7:58am

Never seek your worth through the eyes of a man....you HAVE to know it for yourself.....you got rid of one now who's next in line who's WORTHY?

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Permalink Reply by Siren on July 29, 2009 at 9:06am

When the pain fades don't lose the lesson. Let it go and appreciate that it ended sooner rather than later. Don't become bitter become wiser and reflect on the signs that you may have missed in the beginning and be aware of them in the future. Take some time for yourself....things will get better.

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Permalink Reply by RoyaleT on July 29, 2009 at 12:16pm

Good Riddens!!!! You already knew the deal......think of it as he FINALLY did something for you ......which was move out the way so you can focus on finding someone who can respect and love you the way you are supposed to be respected and loved.

Oh and he didn't leave you.....when you stopped calling YOU LEFT him....YOU GO GIRL!!!! Love yourself for that one!!!

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