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Written by a Black Man
Bottom line-if I sleep with a woman I don’t know or care about SEX is NOT going to make me care. That kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he’s through. He ain’t sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He’s moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don’t matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch.
Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we’re having a “relationship” when it’s NOTHING but a boooty call. Come on, ladies, y’all know I’m telling the truth.
Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we’re about. Having sex with a man does not automatically make that a “relationship”. Many women will deny they think like this but I’m speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now what kind of sense does that make? Why should that woman make YOU(a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The “other woman” is not breaking up a “happy home”.
Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn’t change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long.
Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to stop “rewarding” unfaithful men by pretending it ain’t happening. All of us Black Men (BM) do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don’t buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL cheat if there are NO real penalties for it.
Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON’T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle.
Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don’t be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT.
Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he’s married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. Stop INTERPRETING the meaning of what he says to fit your purposes.
If he says, “I’m not lookin’ for nothing right now” - DON’T tell yourself, “Aw, he just scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind..” NO YOU CAN’T. He said exactly what the hell he meant. BM don’t have to lie when so many BW are already DEAF.
If you can’t answer BASIC questions about a man DON’T OPEN YOUR LEGS. I could kinda understand back in the days when sex wouldn’t KILL people but now? There’s no excuse and if a BW takes that huge risk of sleeping with a STRANGER then she better protect herself - sexually AND emotionally.
Show our d*ck to the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don’t be afraid to be alone. After you give our d*ck some you will probably be alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. If we REALLY like you, we’ll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That’s not how it works, baby
You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am. Blaming the man won’t change a damn thing. BW have to look in the mirror and take SOME of the blame for what’s wrong with BM/BW relationships. Let me end by saying….
SEX DOES NOT EQUAL A RELATIONSHIP. GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN’T WANT TO. A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER BODY, IF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF.
IF HE DOESN’T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH HIM? IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS? BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THAN YOUR BODY. NO, YOUR P**** IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Lovely1 on -
I just went through this, and i chose not listen. And now my feelings hurt....LISTEN up ladies dont end up like me!!!
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Permalink Reply by Holly-Would on -
"Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen"
Why do ppl assume if you care what he does for a living and what kind of car he drives that means you don't ask him other questions? Like that's all you care about? And he's saying all this like the man just has all his cards on the table from day one... Please some men will pretend, shuck and jive to make the situation seem like its not a booty call... Like granted I know females don't always use their better judgement, but um fronting ass guys are to blame for that... Its just a itch that needs to be scratched? Well ppl will bend over backwards trying to scratch those hard to reach places... Women do need to do better at times and so do men... This is years of conditioning...
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Permalink Reply by The real vixxen on -
I gotta agree w Hollywood.. Men will look u in the eye and tell u what they think u wanna hear trying to get their nutt off! I do think he has good points and I've learned the hard way that sex isn't gonna end up in a happy ending..
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Permalink Reply by Madam on -
WOW...He aint never lied! But sometimes u find yourself in situations and dont know how u ended up there! u may think you are in control and then it smacks u in da face! Something to think about ladies!
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Permalink Reply by LMS on
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Yep! I've been asking myself lately, What happens if the coyote catches the roadrunner?! There will be no need for the show and what the hell does he plan on doing with the roadrunner?! Some guys will put forth all types of energy to get in them drawers! Including faking it till they make it!
Holly-Would said:"Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those ears and listen"
Why do ppl assume if you care what he does for a living and what kind of car he drives that means you don't ask him other questions? Like that's all you care about? And he's saying all this like the man just has all his cards on the table from day one... Please some men will pretend, shuck and jive to make the situation seem like its not a booty call... Like granted I know females don't always use their better judgement, but um fronting ass guys are to blame for that... Its just a itch that needs to be scratched? Well ppl will bend over backwards trying to scratch those hard to reach places... Women do need to do better at times and so do men... This is years of conditioning...
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Permalink Reply by Dominique P. Smith on -
I totally agree, I try to tell my friends this but they hear what they want to hear. Some friends think sex is love & it's not. Let's all just start being real with each other & stop fantasizing & living lies.
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Permalink Reply by Ms. KissyFace on -
PREACH DA TRUTH!! PREACH IT!!! Wow great post. Too bad every woman doesn't know this. They take their love/life lessons from other women who don't know how to handle a man and TV/Movies written by men for women.
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Permalink Reply by Ishtar on -
Is not always all on the women, men get caught up too... And when a man gets entangled on an emotional level is hard to shake him off... One of my friends is going thru that now. Trying to shake a dude off, he was just a temporary phucked then got extended, now she is ready to move on but he refuses to keep it moving...
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Permalink Reply by MrsBigDreams on -
Could this "BLACK MEN' be Steve Harvey? lol. I could have sworn I seen him on the Oprah show scrutinizing relationships. If so, why keep that a secret. Give the man his props!
Even if he is b*******. I really didn't need a prescription from Dr. Obvious. Who is his audience? Must be women who are as clued up as Paris Hilton. Get outta here!! Am I wrong for saying this?
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