Please tell me how to deal with Angry Black Man syndrome?

Ok so I have finally figured it out. So now I need some advice from my Ladies and Tone stupid ass! What do I do with an angry black man? I went to college and got a degree because that is what I was told I was supposed to do. This in return presented me with more opprotunites than my BD. He came from a two parent household (just like me and had the same opportunities) be he choose to go down a different path. So last night I was talking about the mortgage and my 401K with my friend who had stopped by. After she left, he goes off as usual saying that I think I am better than him because I did this and that like the white man told me. Now I am so sick of him and his s***!!! I cannot and will not be demeaned in front of my daughter because I did what I was supposed to do. He has been sick so I have been the supportive lil girlfriend and been helping do everything in the f****** house including to not getting laid and dealing with it. I go to therapy and even my therapist is like IDK what you are going to do with him. I cannot be supportive and keep taking the blame of his imaginary world on my shoulders. Where the f*** is my support and will I ever get it? Should I just give up and move on because I cannot compete with the Angry black man b******* anymore. I just want to be loved and supported and he just wants to blame me for his daily struggle. But I am a part of this struggle I feel like it is way harder for me as a black women than for him. I said this last night and I thought he was going to explode. So anyone have any advice on how to deal cuz I am about to have him committed. Are ppl still really blaming the white man for their own B*******?

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Do you feel you are above him now?  

Yes, you find a lot of black people still blame white people for all their problems from the pimple on their nose to the fact that they ignored their parents good advice and took the wrong damn path.

Girl, at the end of the day you have to have peace in your home. You are on the struggle every time you walk out your front door. As a professional black woman, I know. So the last place you want a fight is in your own home. Do what you have to do to restore peace to your home. You already know what to do. It is just gonna be hella hard and you don't want to do it.  Good luck, sis.

No I am not above him or anyone else. I cannot judge that man on his past, but the present and future are looking real shaky.

Tone said:

Do you feel you are above him now?  

white people still hold black men down. Just because they are easier on you guys don't mean they are on black men. Brothers that do the right thing still face the same issues as ones that don't. A lot of sisters don't understand it because they don't really face it.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:

Yes, you find a lot of black people still blame white people for all their problems from the pimple on their nose to the fact that they ignored their parents good advice and took the wrong damn path.

Girl, at the end of the day you have to have peace in your home. You are on the struggle every time you walk out your front door. As a professional black woman, I know. So the last place you want a fight is in your own home. Do what you have to do to restore peace to your home. You already know what to do. It is just gonna be hella hard and you don't want to do it.  Good luck, sis.

Sounds like he is just lazy and you should leave him if he does not get his act together.


Ms. BoiBye said:

No I am not above him or anyone else. I cannot judge that man on his past, but the present and future are looking real shaky.

Tone said:

Do you feel you are above him now?  

Do you try and encourage him? Have you suggested he get some help? Is he your husband or boyfriend?

Ms. BoiBye said:

No I am not above him or anyone else. I cannot judge that man on his past, but the present and future are looking real shaky.
Tone said:

Do you feel you are above him now?  

How long am I supposed to give him. I was just chilling until they told me I was preggers. I stopped tripping and grew the hell up. I found a job with benefits so my daugther would be good. He is still working odd jobs here and there and doing the same thing he been doing. I need him to set a better example for my daughter. She will start school in September. They going say o where your mommy work. Her in an office.  where your daddy work sometimes from the couch? Not cool!

Tone said:

Sounds like he is just lazy and you should leave him if he does not get his act together.

Ms. BoiBye said:

No I am not above him or anyone else. I cannot judge that man on his past, but the present and future are looking real shaky.
Tone said:

Do you feel you are above him now?  

Boyfriend / my teenage son. I have found him jobs and done all that I can do. I even tried to get a loan to get a bread truck so he could deliver bread early in the AM and not have to be around ppl. I am starting to feel like I am his mom. I do everything for him. Encourage, help, appreciate when he does the smallest s*** and still be there for him. I treat him like a King becasue i want him to treat me like a Queen. When is someone going to uplift me and make me feel like I do him? I am just tired of being supportive, but not getting a damn thing but grief in return. (sorry for my rant)
Siren said:

Do you try and encourage him? Have you suggested he get some help? Is he your husband or boyfriend?
Ms. BoiBye said:

No I am not above him or anyone else. I cannot judge that man on his past, but the present and future are looking real shaky. Tone said:

Do you feel you are above him now?  

This sh*t here is SUPER superficial.  Do you know how many kids dont have daddies at all, let alone one that works????  Everybody cant be a chief.......some of us have to be indians; that's just life.  You're worried about what the next 5 year old might say??????  You havent grown up as much as you think.   


Ms. BoiBye said:

How long am I supposed to give him. I was just chilling until they told me I was preggers. I stopped tripping and grew the hell up. I found a job with benefits so my daugther would be good. He is still working odd jobs here and there and doing the same thing he been doing. I need him to set a better example for my daughter. She will start school in September. They going say o where your mommy work. Her in an office.  where your daddy work sometimes from the couch? Not cool!

Tone said:

Sounds like he is just lazy and you should leave him if he does not get his act together.

Ms. BoiBye said:

No I am not above him or anyone else. I cannot judge that man on his past, but the present and future are looking real shaky.
Tone said:

Do you feel you are above him now?  

I will say this... you knew who he was when you got with him. Where you went wrong was thinking you could change him into the man you want him to be. relationships take work. Maybe he isfrustrated and angry but have you tried to help him or encourage him. Not doing the work for him. No real man wants to be babied. The fact that you refer to him as your teenage son says a lot about how you respect him. I am not passing judgement I have been in a similar situation myself but I knew that I was not helping him and I was also taking my anger and resentment about what I viewed as his lack of drive out on him and it destroyed him. Fast forward to after our breakup he found a woman that positively motivated went back to school and got his degree and is doing well for himself.

Ms. BoiBye said:

Boyfriend / my teenage son. I have found him jobs and done all that I can do. I even tried to get a loan to get a bread truck so he could deliver bread early in the AM and not have to be around ppl. I am starting to feel like I am his mom. I do everything for him. Encourage, help, appreciate when he does the smallest s*** and still be there for him. I treat him like a King becasue i want him to treat me like a Queen. When is someone going to uplift me and make me feel like I do him? I am just tired of being supportive, but not getting a damn thing but grief in return. (sorry for my rant)
Siren said:

Do you try and encourage him? Have you suggested he get some help? Is he your husband or boyfriend?
Ms. BoiBye said:

No I am not above him or anyone else. I cannot judge that man on his past, but the present and future are looking real shaky. Tone said:

Do you feel you are above him now?  

I’m not worried about any 5 year old in the least bit. I am worried about my financial future. How am I going to retire and save for my daughter college to provide the best for her and he sitting in the house beating off?!?!?! I’m sorry but being the breadwinner for years was not in the plans. He always got big dreams and hopes but they never come in to anything. So if you want to take care of him I will send him your address, but I am sick of taking care of a MF who don't appreciate my efforts!. Superficial s***!!!

University of Smitty said:

This sh*t here is SUPER superficial.  Do you know how many kids dont have daddies at all, let alone one that works????  Everybody cant be a chief.......some of us have to be indians; that's just life.  You're worried about what the next 5 year old might say??????  You havent grown up as much as you think.   

Ms. BoiBye said:

How long am I supposed to give him. I was just chilling until they told me I was preggers. I stopped tripping and grew the hell up. I found a job with benefits so my daugther would be good. He is still working odd jobs here and there and doing the same thing he been doing. I need him to set a better example for my daughter. She will start school in September. They going say o where your mommy work. Her in an office.  where your daddy work sometimes from the couch? Not cool!
Tone said:

Sounds like he is just lazy and you should leave him if he does not get his act together.

Ms. BoiBye said:

No I am not above him or anyone else. I cannot judge that man on his past, but the present and future are looking real shaky. Tone said:

Do you feel you are above him now?  

He said he wanted to work with his hands. So he took and HVAC class, he said he wanted to be a consruction worker then it got too hot, he said he wanted to be a driver so I tried to get him a bread truck. It is not that I want to change him because he had a job when we met. I think I may have helped him too much once he finished school. He should have taken any job like anyone else would have and now he is like o that is not in my field. I am like really!!!!

U are so right because I have lost all respect for him and I think he thinks I am his enemy. But i told him on my lunch break that by the time I get home he needs to be gone cuz I can't deal with a diva dude anymore. He talking crazy like he going to kidnap my daughter. I told him he could keep her (LOL he aint expect that answer). S*** save me money on daycare he between jobs anyways!

Siren said:

I will say this... you knew who he was when you got with him. Where you went wrong was thinking you could change him into the man you want him to be. relationships take work. Maybe he isfrustrated and angry but have you tried to help him or encourage him. Not doing the work for him. No real man wants to be babied. The fact that you refer to him as your teenage son says a lot about how you respect him. I am not passing judgement I have been in a similar situation myself but I knew that I was not helping him and I was also taking my anger and resentment about what I viewed as his lack of drive out on him and it destroyed him. Fast forward to after our breakup he found a woman that positively motivated went back to school and got his degree and is doing well for himself.
Ms. BoiBye said:

Boyfriend / my teenage son. I have found him jobs and done all that I can do. I even tried to get a loan to get a bread truck so he could deliver bread early in the AM and not have to be around ppl. I am starting to feel like I am his mom. I do everything for him. Encourage, help, appreciate when he does the smallest s*** and still be there for him. I treat him like a King becasue i want him to treat me like a Queen. When is someone going to uplift me and make me feel like I do him? I am just tired of being supportive, but not getting a damn thing but grief in return. (sorry for my rant) Siren said:

Do you try and encourage him? Have you suggested he get some help? Is he your husband or boyfriend? Ms. BoiBye said:

No I am not above him or anyone else. I cannot judge that man on his past, but the present and future are looking real shaky. Tone said:

Do you feel you are above him now?  

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