For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
Ok so I have finally figured it out. So now I need some advice from my Ladies and Tone stupid ass! What do I do with an angry black man? I went to college and got a degree because that is what I was told I was supposed to do. This in return presented me with more opprotunites than my BD. He came from a two parent household (just like me and had the same opportunities) be he choose to go down a different path. So last night I was talking about the mortgage and my 401K with my friend who had stopped by. After she left, he goes off as usual saying that I think I am better than him because I did this and that like the white man told me. Now I am so sick of him and his s***!!! I cannot and will not be demeaned in front of my daughter because I did what I was supposed to do. He has been sick so I have been the supportive lil girlfriend and been helping do everything in the f****** house including to not getting laid and dealing with it. I go to therapy and even my therapist is like IDK what you are going to do with him. I cannot be supportive and keep taking the blame of his imaginary world on my shoulders. Where the f*** is my support and will I ever get it? Should I just give up and move on because I cannot compete with the Angry black man b******* anymore. I just want to be loved and supported and he just wants to blame me for his daily struggle. But I am a part of this struggle I feel like it is way harder for me as a black women than for him. I said this last night and I thought he was going to explode. So anyone have any advice on how to deal cuz I am about to have him committed. Are ppl still really blaming the white man for their own B*******?
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Permalink Reply by Siren on March 14, 2012 at 10:23am Wow. Yeah well no need to further discuss this. Things are too far gone.
Ms. BoiBye said:
I’m sorry. The internet was one of the bills we cut, so I can only talk at work and if I can get to my friends house, LOL. But at first we both were working. Once baby came he wanted to go to school to get more money. Ok cool, so we got a voucher for daycare, but now he out of school with no job and the voucher was cut off. So I am paying daycare which I wasn't before and the electric plus mortgage. He still handles groceries and the cable. But I would be cool if she was home from school with him but she isn't. So I am stretched thin and he is like I only want a job in my field. I asked him to just pick up anything because it affects his work history to just be out of work. But once again I was told my opinions don’t matter. He finally told me last night he is angry because whatever he does to me I never fall down I always get back up dust myself off and get it done. I was like whoa I thought that is what you would want in a woman. He said no because it makes him feel like less of a man because he will not accept anything less and I do. But I tried to tell him that is part of my personality so you cannot be mad at me. He flat out stated that he is trying to break me because I need to be taught a lesson. We talked about why I decline his proposal last year. He hasn’t shown me anything to make me want to spend the rest of my life with him. I am a go-getter and he is a settler. He wants to have another baby, but that would put us in an even worst place ( so since I don’t want a baby he said he punishing me by not having sex with me) I was too thru I told him I am not a f****** game or toy to be played with so he needed to leave. I am glad these things finally came out in to open, but wow. I had no idea that we were both jealous of each other. I am pissed he gets to chill and do whatever with no responsibly and he is pissed that I exist?!?!?! He even got in my face and tried to back me into a corner sounding like a b**** talking bout hit me so I can call the police see how your lil friends would view you now with charges. I just left there is no winning with him and my daughter was at my moms house. So I left to go get her. We get back he has the chain on the door and wouldn’t let us in. So I had to go back across town to my moms house. Of course then I had to tell her everything. She was shocked then she called my dad who flipped and called my Uncles. And now I am not sure what happens once I get off. This is why I tried to keep s*** under wraps for so long because I knew it would eventually come to this madness. Which is more than I can take right now. Actually I am going shopping. I little retail therapy will make it all better, LOL!!!!
Permalink Reply by SACK CHASER on March 14, 2012 at 10:37am
Permalink Reply by Ms. BoiBye on March 14, 2012 at 10:41am Now he calling my work phone cuz I cut my cell off. I told him if he calls one more time. When I get home. I am going to shoot him. I am nice until u start f****** with my money honey! I am not even playing. I seen my boss giving me the side eye already for not answering the phone. I think I am going to go home early cuz at this point if he wants to fight I am all with it. I am so sick of this b*******!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Permalink Reply by Ms. BoiBye on March 14, 2012 at 11:35am Girl I went out an took a smoke break then came back cuz I was boua be on the crazy bus with him. I known this nigga since we was in high school so I don't understand what happened in the few years we lost contact, but he was really a good person. I just hope I don't turn ppl into bad ppl because I don't want to f*** my daughter up. I called the courthouse and they are saying I need to give him 30 days. IDK about anything anymore excet that I need to get away from him because now that I know how he really feels I want to hurt him how he hurt me and that is not healthy. Thanks for talking me down from the ledge cuz I really was going to bust his head to the white meat!
LThansove is a Losing Game said:
Fight? Really BB? Girl that fool aint got nothing to live for! We will be reading about yo ass on yahoo, leaving messages about how good of a person u were. Stay yo ass at work and don't fuel the fire! Let him know its time for him to go. Talk to ur mom and uncles. Maybe stay with her or have them stay wit u for a couple nights. Its obvious u dealin with a looney loser. Don't u go doing no dumb ish!
Permalink Reply by blackfujones on March 14, 2012 at 11:36am Dump his ass and date the white man FOR REALLZ.
That is just p**** envy. Get used to it. More women are graduating from both high school and college. The roles are reversing, and we're going to be forced to make our men FEEL like the man instead of him actually BEING the man. Staying in a relationship with someone you have to constantly pacify is unhealthy.
Having 9 brothers, I understand the plight that affect black men, and it's their own stupidity, and refusal to take ownership for their issues. Yeah, the white man won't hire you, because you got that assault charge on your record for fighting over a seat/biatch/parking space at the club. We are our own worst enemy.
On a whole, we need to understand that anything is possible for us. Low self esteem causes us not to treat each other as well as we should. Black women cannot smile at each other when they pass, making their top lip touch their nose because we constantly measure ourselves against each other. Ladies, watch your thoughts and actions. If the first thing that comes out of your mouth about someone is that they think they're better than you, or they thy think they're too much, it's because that's what YOU think. If you aren't where you need to be in life, do what you must to change your situation.
All in love...
Permalink Reply by blackfujones on March 14, 2012 at 11:38am thats not called leading..that called doing whats necessary.Im ssaying you all arent born with that burden. on your shoulders.
Love is a Losing Game said:
Oh and @black...times have changed! We aint taught to push out babies and be a homemaker anymore. We are taught to make it happen. So often does tha responsibilty fall on us so we gotta 'make it do what it do'....I guess you can call it being a leader...most single women wit no kids are leaders. (That doesent take away the desire for a man to lead tho)
Permalink Reply by blackfujones on March 14, 2012 at 11:42am first off..you dont need retail therapy at all..save ya paper. Secondly leave dude...hes way to far gone. You two would be better off w/o eachother, because hes to hurt with himself and is taking it out on you
Ms. BoiBye said:
Girl I went out an took a smoke break then came back cuz I was boua be on the crazy bus with him. I known this nigga since we was in high school so I don't understand what happened in the few years we lost contact, but he was really a good person. I just hope I don't turn ppl into bad ppl because I don't want to f*** my daughter up. I called the courthouse and they are saying I need to give him 30 days. IDK about anything anymore excet that I need to get away from him because now that I know how he really feels I want to hurt him how he hurt me and that is not healthy. Thanks for talking me down from the ledge cuz I really was going to bust his head to the white meat!
LThansove is a Losing Game said:
Fight? Really BB? Girl that fool aint got nothing to live for! We will be reading about yo ass on yahoo, leaving messages about how good of a person u were. Stay yo ass at work and don't fuel the fire! Let him know its time for him to go. Talk to ur mom and uncles. Maybe stay with her or have them stay wit u for a couple nights. Its obvious u dealin with a looney loser. Don't u go doing no dumb ish!
Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on March 14, 2012 at 11:57am He finally told me last night he is angry because whatever he does to me I never fall down I always get back up dust myself off and get it done.>>>>that's abuse and I felt that's what he's trying to do. I'm very very very glad that you and your baby are out of there and you have your family's support to fall back on. Your dad and your uncles are now involved, maaaan he's in for whoopin.
May 26, 2013 at 3:30pm to May 27, 2013 at 10pm – Bayside
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