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Please tell me how to deal with Angry Black Man syndrome?
Ok so I have finally figured it out. So now I need some advice from my Ladies and Tone stupid ass! What do I do with an angry black man? I went to college and got a degree because that is what I was told I was supposed to do. This in return presented me with more opprotunites than my BD. He came from a two parent household (just like me and had the same opportunities) be he choose to go down a different path. So last night I was talking about the mortgage and my 401K with my friend who had stopped by. After she left, he goes off as usual saying that I think I am better than him because I did this and that like the white man told me. Now I am so sick of him and his s***!!! I cannot and will not be demeaned in front of my daughter because I did what I was supposed to do. He has been sick so I have been the supportive lil girlfriend and been helping do everything in the f****** house including to not getting laid and dealing with it. I go to therapy and even my therapist is like IDK what you are going to do with him. I cannot be supportive and keep taking the blame of his imaginary world on my shoulders. Where the f*** is my support and will I ever get it? Should I just give up and move on because I cannot compete with the Angry black man b******* anymore. I just want to be loved and supported and he just wants to blame me for his daily struggle. But I am a part of this struggle I feel like it is way harder for me as a black women than for him. I said this last night and I thought he was going to explode. So anyone have any advice on how to deal cuz I am about to have him committed. Are ppl still really blaming the white man for their own B*******?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by MissBling on -
OK!! He probably started acting crazy so she won't bring her ass over there anymore lol!
SACK CHASER said:True. You know our men barely like our "friends"! lol
MissBling said:Honestly, I think your man is upset because you are talking about mortgages and stuff w/ your friends in front of him. Due to his situation, he may feel as though you are talking about him indirectly. If your girl see you and him in the same household but you're talking about the mortgage... It's just some stuff that you don't talk about when your man is around because they are like "Wtf are you talking about that w/ so and so for?" Now if you wanna talk about it w/ someone on the phone and he's not around, that's another story. Honestly, it's just some s*** that you don't talk about w/ the homies. Especially, if you're the type to worry about what they think.
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Permalink Reply by SACK CHASER on -
Hahahahaha!! Girl I'm dying laughing because that s*** is a fact!! #NinjasBeJealous
MissBling said:OK!! He probably started acting crazy so she won't bring her ass over there anymore lol!
SACK CHASER said:True. You know our men barely like our "friends"! lol
MissBling said:Honestly, I think your man is upset because you are talking about mortgages and stuff w/ your friends in front of him. Due to his situation, he may feel as though you are talking about him indirectly. If your girl see you and him in the same household but you're talking about the mortgage... It's just some stuff that you don't talk about when your man is around because they are like "Wtf are you talking about that w/ so and so for?" Now if you wanna talk about it w/ someone on the phone and he's not around, that's another story. Honestly, it's just some s*** that you don't talk about w/ the homies. Especially, if you're the type to worry about what they think.
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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on -
As long as you believe this you and I can't even be e-friends. I wish you well.
Tone said:
white people still hold black men down. Just because they are easier on you guys don't mean they are on black men. Brothers that do the right thing still face the same issues as ones that don't. A lot of sisters don't understand it because they don't really face it.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:Yes, you find a lot of black people still blame white people for all their problems from the pimple on their nose to the fact that they ignored their parents good advice and took the wrong damn path.
Girl, at the end of the day you have to have peace in your home. You are on the struggle every time you walk out your front door. As a professional black woman, I know. So the last place you want a fight is in your own home. Do what you have to do to restore peace to your home. You already know what to do. It is just gonna be hella hard and you don't want to do it. Good luck, sis.
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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on
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Smitty, does this include him? *shrug*
University of Smitty said:STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER MUTHAF**KAS THINK!!!!!!!!! I'm going to snap EVERY time you mention what somebody else might think. If theyre not paying your mortgage.......F**K 'EM!!!!!!
Ms. BoiBye said:
She was embarassed for me so she quietly gathered her s*** and got the hell out of dodge. I hope she don't go and tell everyone my household is unstable. I dont put on a front for ppl, but they don't know how bad it has gotten either. Cuz i always smile even when it is bad cuz I am not a debbie downer, but damn I cannot be strong for him and me anymore. And he still aint giving up the D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:What I am seeing is you holding him down and respecting him and him showing you no respect in your own home and in front of your friends. Wow. And that is ok with everyone? Ok, let me leave this post because I have nothing sweet to say about him. Nor do I want to be on his cheer leading team.
*exits posts and slams door on the way out*
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Permalink Reply by University of Smitty on -
LOL....messy azz. I think Siren & Bling are right about the mortage discussion.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:Smitty, does this include him? *shrug*
University of Smitty said:STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER MUTHAF**KAS THINK!!!!!!!!! I'm going to snap EVERY time you mention what somebody else might think. If theyre not paying your mortgage.......F**K 'EM!!!!!!
Ms. BoiBye said:
She was embarassed for me so she quietly gathered her s*** and got the hell out of dodge. I hope she don't go and tell everyone my household is unstable. I dont put on a front for ppl, but they don't know how bad it has gotten either. Cuz i always smile even when it is bad cuz I am not a debbie downer, but damn I cannot be strong for him and me anymore. And he still aint giving up the D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:What I am seeing is you holding him down and respecting him and him showing you no respect in your own home and in front of your friends. Wow. And that is ok with everyone? Ok, let me leave this post because I have nothing sweet to say about him. Nor do I want to be on his cheer leading team.
*exits posts and slams door on the way out*
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Permalink Reply by JustMe on -
been there, done that & unless HE decides to better himself, things WILL NOT change... for some men, helping them is actually a hindrance.
Ms. BoiBye said:Boyfriend / my teenage son. I have found him jobs and done all that I can do. I even tried to get a loan to get a bread truck so he could deliver bread early in the AM and not have to be around ppl. I am starting to feel like I am his mom. I do everything for him. Encourage, help, appreciate when he does the smallest s*** and still be there for him. I treat him like a King becasue i want him to treat me like a Queen. When is someone going to uplift me and make me feel like I do him? I am just tired of being supportive, but not getting a damn thing but grief in return. (sorry for my rant)
Siren said:Do you try and encourage him? Have you suggested he get some help? Is he your husband or boyfriend?
Ms. BoiBye said:No I am not above him or anyone else. I cannot judge that man on his past, but the present and future are looking real shaky. Tone said:
Do you feel you are above him now?
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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on
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LOL Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???? He ain't paying bills sooooooooooo... Siren and Bling may have something on that. But seriously, if I'm paying ALL the bills in the house I should be able to talk to anyone I want to about anything I want to.
Flip the script and say it is the woman who is qualified to work but has decided various jobs her man suggests and helps her get aren't good enough for her and they need that second income. Y'all know good and doggone well his boys would be telling him to kick that trick out. She'd be all kinds of names. And she ain't giving up the sex either? Oooooooooh chile! His friends would be calling him all kinds of bytchazzes and punkazzes.
University of Smitty said:LOL....messy azz. I think Siren & Bling are right about the mortage discussion.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:Smitty, does this include him? *shrug*
University of Smitty said:STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER MUTHAF**KAS THINK!!!!!!!!! I'm going to snap EVERY time you mention what somebody else might think. If theyre not paying your mortgage.......F**K 'EM!!!!!!
Ms. BoiBye said:
She was embarassed for me so she quietly gathered her s*** and got the hell out of dodge. I hope she don't go and tell everyone my household is unstable. I dont put on a front for ppl, but they don't know how bad it has gotten either. Cuz i always smile even when it is bad cuz I am not a debbie downer, but damn I cannot be strong for him and me anymore. And he still aint giving up the D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:What I am seeing is you holding him down and respecting him and him showing you no respect in your own home and in front of your friends. Wow. And that is ok with everyone? Ok, let me leave this post because I have nothing sweet to say about him. Nor do I want to be on his cheer leading team.
*exits posts and slams door on the way out*
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Permalink Reply by MissBling on
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If you are single that would be acceptable. In a relationship there are certain things that are taboo. Discussing your financial business w/ your homegirl in front of your man is just one of those things. If the shoe were on the other foot, you would be daring his ass to even whisper that s*** to his boys while you right there.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:LOL Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???? He ain't paying bills sooooooooooo... Siren and Bling may have something on that. But seriously, if I'm paying ALL the bills in the house I should be able to talk to anyone I want to about anything I want to.
Flip the script and say it is the woman who is qualified to work but has decided various jobs her man suggests and helps her get aren't good enough for her and they need that second income. Y'all know good and doggone well his boys would be telling him to kick that trick out. She'd be all kinds of names. And she ain't giving up the sex either? Oooooooooh chile! His friends would be calling him all kinds of bytchazzes and punkazzes.
University of Smitty said:LOL....messy azz. I think Siren & Bling are right about the mortage discussion.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:Smitty, does this include him? *shrug*
University of Smitty said:STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER MUTHAF**KAS THINK!!!!!!!!! I'm going to snap EVERY time you mention what somebody else might think. If theyre not paying your mortgage.......F**K 'EM!!!!!!
Ms. BoiBye said:
She was embarassed for me so she quietly gathered her s*** and got the hell out of dodge. I hope she don't go and tell everyone my household is unstable. I dont put on a front for ppl, but they don't know how bad it has gotten either. Cuz i always smile even when it is bad cuz I am not a debbie downer, but damn I cannot be strong for him and me anymore. And he still aint giving up the D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:What I am seeing is you holding him down and respecting him and him showing you no respect in your own home and in front of your friends. Wow. And that is ok with everyone? Ok, let me leave this post because I have nothing sweet to say about him. Nor do I want to be on his cheer leading team.
*exits posts and slams door on the way out*
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Permalink Reply by blackfujones on -
Wait...I thought it was ok for women not to work
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:LOL Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???? He ain't paying bills sooooooooooo... Siren and Bling may have something on that. But seriously, if I'm paying ALL the bills in the house I should be able to talk to anyone I want to about anything I want to.
Flip the script and say it is the woman who is qualified to work but has decided various jobs her man suggests and helps her get aren't good enough for her and they need that second income. Y'all know good and doggone well his boys would be telling him to kick that trick out. She'd be all kinds of names. And she ain't giving up the sex either? Oooooooooh chile! His friends would be calling him all kinds of bytchazzes and punkazzes.
University of Smitty said:LOL....messy azz. I think Siren & Bling are right about the mortage discussion.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:Smitty, does this include him? *shrug*
University of Smitty said:STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER MUTHAF**KAS THINK!!!!!!!!! I'm going to snap EVERY time you mention what somebody else might think. If theyre not paying your mortgage.......F**K 'EM!!!!!!
Ms. BoiBye said:
She was embarassed for me so she quietly gathered her s*** and got the hell out of dodge. I hope she don't go and tell everyone my household is unstable. I dont put on a front for ppl, but they don't know how bad it has gotten either. Cuz i always smile even when it is bad cuz I am not a debbie downer, but damn I cannot be strong for him and me anymore. And he still aint giving up the D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:What I am seeing is you holding him down and respecting him and him showing you no respect in your own home and in front of your friends. Wow. And that is ok with everyone? Ok, let me leave this post because I have nothing sweet to say about him. Nor do I want to be on his cheer leading team.
*exits posts and slams door on the way out*
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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on
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Read the highlighted.
blackfujones said:Wait...I thought it was ok for women not to work
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:LOL Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???? He ain't paying bills sooooooooooo... Siren and Bling may have something on that. But seriously, if I'm paying ALL the bills in the house I should be able to talk to anyone I want to about anything I want to.
Flip the script and say it is the woman who is qualified to work but has decided various jobs her man suggests and helps her get aren't good enough for her and they need that second income. Y'all know good and doggone well his boys would be telling him to kick that trick out. She'd be all kinds of names. And she ain't giving up the sex either? Oooooooooh chile! His friends would be calling him all kinds of bytchazzes and punkazzes.
University of Smitty said:LOL....messy azz. I think Siren & Bling are right about the mortage discussion.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:Smitty, does this include him? *shrug*
University of Smitty said:STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER MUTHAF**KAS THINK!!!!!!!!! I'm going to snap EVERY time you mention what somebody else might think. If theyre not paying your mortgage.......F**K 'EM!!!!!!
Ms. BoiBye said:
She was embarassed for me so she quietly gathered her s*** and got the hell out of dodge. I hope she don't go and tell everyone my household is unstable. I dont put on a front for ppl, but they don't know how bad it has gotten either. Cuz i always smile even when it is bad cuz I am not a debbie downer, but damn I cannot be strong for him and me anymore. And he still aint giving up the D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:What I am seeing is you holding him down and respecting him and him showing you no respect in your own home and in front of your friends. Wow. And that is ok with everyone? Ok, let me leave this post because I have nothing sweet to say about him. Nor do I want to be on his cheer leading team.
*exits posts and slams door on the way out*
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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on
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In a marriage it maybe taboo but until he puts a ring on it, in my book anyway, they are just kicking it. He can walk away at any time. And some chick might be daring him to do it but she'd be a dumb bunny. When is the last time you told your man he couldn't say whatever the fugg he wanted to in his home where he pays ALL THE BILLS in front of his boys? Even insinuate it?
MissBling said:If you are single that would be acceptable. In a relationship there are certain things that are taboo. Discussing your financial business w/ your homegirl in front of your man is just one of those things. If the shoe were on the other foot, you would be daring his ass to even whisper that s*** to his boys while you right there.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:LOL Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???? He ain't paying bills sooooooooooo... Siren and Bling may have something on that. But seriously, if I'm paying ALL the bills in the house I should be able to talk to anyone I want to about anything I want to.
Flip the script and say it is the woman who is qualified to work but has decided various jobs her man suggests and helps her get aren't good enough for her and they need that second income. Y'all know good and doggone well his boys would be telling him to kick that trick out. She'd be all kinds of names. And she ain't giving up the sex either? Oooooooooh chile! His friends would be calling him all kinds of bytchazzes and punkazzes.
University of Smitty said:LOL....messy azz. I think Siren & Bling are right about the mortage discussion.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:Smitty, does this include him? *shrug*
University of Smitty said:STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER MUTHAF**KAS THINK!!!!!!!!! I'm going to snap EVERY time you mention what somebody else might think. If theyre not paying your mortgage.......F**K 'EM!!!!!!
Ms. BoiBye said:
She was embarassed for me so she quietly gathered her s*** and got the hell out of dodge. I hope she don't go and tell everyone my household is unstable. I dont put on a front for ppl, but they don't know how bad it has gotten either. Cuz i always smile even when it is bad cuz I am not a debbie downer, but damn I cannot be strong for him and me anymore. And he still aint giving up the D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:What I am seeing is you holding him down and respecting him and him showing you no respect in your own home and in front of your friends. Wow. And that is ok with everyone? Ok, let me leave this post because I have nothing sweet to say about him. Nor do I want to be on his cheer leading team.
*exits posts and slams door on the way out*
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Permalink Reply by Siren on -
I think if they are co habitating no matter who pays the bills respect is respect...Before I got married i still would have never discussed financial strains in my household in front of my friends...it is emasculating. If she wants him to do better, emasculating him won't facilitate it. When I first moved in with my husband he payed all the bills and I would have a serious issue of him having something to say to his friends while i am there. Not a good luck no matter how you paint the picture. The lack of respect seems to be the root cause for both of them.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:In a marriage it maybe taboo but until he puts a ring on it, in my book anyway, they are just kicking it. He can walk away at any time. And some chick might be daring him to do it but she'd be a dumb bunny. When is the last time you told your man he couldn't say whatever the fugg he wanted to in his home where he pays ALL THE BILLS in front of his boys? Even insinuate it?
MissBling said:If you are single that would be acceptable. In a relationship there are certain things that are taboo. Discussing your financial business w/ your homegirl in front of your man is just one of those things. If the shoe were on the other foot, you would be daring his ass to even whisper that s*** to his boys while you right there.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:LOL Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???? He ain't paying bills sooooooooooo... Siren and Bling may have something on that. But seriously, if I'm paying ALL the bills in the house I should be able to talk to anyone I want to about anything I want to.
Flip the script and say it is the woman who is qualified to work but has decided various jobs her man suggests and helps her get aren't good enough for her and they need that second income. Y'all know good and doggone well his boys would be telling him to kick that trick out. She'd be all kinds of names. And she ain't giving up the sex either? Oooooooooh chile! His friends would be calling him all kinds of bytchazzes and punkazzes.
University of Smitty said:LOL....messy azz. I think Siren & Bling are right about the mortage discussion.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:Smitty, does this include him? *shrug*
University of Smitty said:STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHER MUTHAF**KAS THINK!!!!!!!!! I'm going to snap EVERY time you mention what somebody else might think. If theyre not paying your mortgage.......F**K 'EM!!!!!!
Ms. BoiBye said:
She was embarassed for me so she quietly gathered her s*** and got the hell out of dodge. I hope she don't go and tell everyone my household is unstable. I dont put on a front for ppl, but they don't know how bad it has gotten either. Cuz i always smile even when it is bad cuz I am not a debbie downer, but damn I cannot be strong for him and me anymore. And he still aint giving up the D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:What I am seeing is you holding him down and respecting him and him showing you no respect in your own home and in front of your friends. Wow. And that is ok with everyone? Ok, let me leave this post because I have nothing sweet to say about him. Nor do I want to be on his cheer leading team.
*exits posts and slams door on the way out*
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