Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by blackfujones on March 16, 2012 at 12:33pm

Skytz0100 said:

LOL, he's right I have done that as well! I can say I done caught "some" one-night stands this way. A couple of the one night stands still wanted to keep it going but the minute I sobered up and realized that dude isn't for me I politely stop answering the calls, if they had my number in the first place, or if I see em tell em I will call knowing damn well i won't.

But, I'm a G so I can do that! I don't recommend this for women who are not hip to the game!


blackfujones said:

you mean when you approach boys..grown men have had their fill of p**** by that time. I could care less if you come at me to speak. Im a social person and enjoy being social. Plus men get thrown p**** more then you women think.  Just bc you approach me doesnt make me wanna f*** u right off the bat. Hell these days yall wanna f*** quicker than us anyways.
Mochacashmere said:

Because when you approach men they automatically think that you want sex.
blackfujones said:

Why is it that soooo many women find that approaching men thing like so bad? I find it sexy that a woman can approach me and tell me whats on her mind. Hell sometimes we dont notice yall a**** n need a reminder
Sheli said:

I'm sorry but I don't think you want help, I think you enjoy throwing this pity party &  I'm not saying this to be mean, but people have offered you a number of ways to 1) get out of your funk and 2) to meet men and you decline our rebut each one. It's like you're waiting on Prince Charming to walk up to you, be perfect & you two instantly fall in love; that's not going to happen, EVER!!! We've given you advice and you've never tried any of it, you just come back here throwing yourself a pity party:

**Focus on yourself (get a hobby, workout, etc)

**Hang with family/friends

**Approach men you find to be your type

**Online dating, blind dating

** Hang out at spots outside your comfort zone

**Meet new people

**Go out alone

**Date multiple men, even if you don't see anything long term with them just to get out of your funk

**Ask your girlfriends boyfriends to introduce you to their male friends.

I tell my guy friend the EXACT same thing & he always has an excuse as to why it won't work before he even tries it.

I was single for 4 years and I NEVER had a problem meeting men and this was during the time where I HATED ALL MEN, lol. Your urgency for a relationship is probably what's scaring men off.  No man wants to meet a woman on Monday & have her talking about being in a relationship by Wednesday night. There are much more exciting things in life than a man.

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Permalink Reply by Love is a Losing Game on March 16, 2012 at 12:33pm

@black this is refreshing to read....I always thought men did not like to be approached by women. For me, I think the dynamic automatically changes once a woman appoaches the man. Its like his natural 'chase' mechanisims are turned off. I think men treat u differently if u approach them v. them approaching us. I'm not shy to approach a man but I've stopped doing it. I guess I wanna know that he 'chose' me. I might get back into it after reading this

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Permalink Reply by blackfujones on March 16, 2012 at 12:43pm

hell f***** no it dont change things. I still wear the pants round these parts. She just reminded me where I needed to be is all. 

Love is a Losing Game said:

@black this is refreshing to read....I always thought men did not like to be approached by women. For me, I think the dynamic automatically changes once a woman appoaches the man. Its like his natural 'chase' mechanisims are turned off. I think men treat u differently if u approach them v. them approaching us. I'm not shy to approach a man but I've stopped doing it. I guess I wanna know that he 'chose' me. I might get back into it after reading this

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Permalink Reply by Tone © on March 16, 2012 at 12:44pm

It is nice when a woman can be aggressive enough to approach you. just don't be thirsty and things should be fine.

Love is a Losing Game said:

@black this is refreshing to read....I always thought men did not like to be approached by women. For me, I think the dynamic automatically changes once a woman appoaches the man. Its like his natural 'chase' mechanisims are turned off. I think men treat u differently if u approach them v. them approaching us. I'm not shy to approach a man but I've stopped doing it. I guess I wanna know that he 'chose' me. I might get back into it after reading this

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Permalink Reply by Skytz0100 on March 16, 2012 at 4:40pm

LOL, I hope this is a compliment!

blackfujones said:

Skytz0100 said:

LOL, he's right I have done that as well! I can say I done caught "some" one-night stands this way. A couple of the one night stands still wanted to keep it going but the minute I sobered up and realized that dude isn't for me I politely stop answering the calls, if they had my number in the first place, or if I see em tell em I will call knowing damn well i won't.

But, I'm a G so I can do that! I don't recommend this for women who are not hip to the game!


blackfujones said:

you mean when you approach boys..grown men have had their fill of p**** by that time. I could care less if you come at me to speak. Im a social person and enjoy being social. Plus men get thrown p**** more then you women think.  Just bc you approach me doesnt make me wanna f*** u right off the bat. Hell these days yall wanna f*** quicker than us anyways.
Mochacashmere said:

Because when you approach men they automatically think that you want sex.
blackfujones said:

Why is it that soooo many women find that approaching men thing like so bad? I find it sexy that a woman can approach me and tell me whats on her mind. Hell sometimes we dont notice yall a**** n need a reminder
Sheli said:

I'm sorry but I don't think you want help, I think you enjoy throwing this pity party &  I'm not saying this to be mean, but people have offered you a number of ways to 1) get out of your funk and 2) to meet men and you decline our rebut each one. It's like you're waiting on Prince Charming to walk up to you, be perfect & you two instantly fall in love; that's not going to happen, EVER!!! We've given you advice and you've never tried any of it, you just come back here throwing yourself a pity party:

**Focus on yourself (get a hobby, workout, etc)

**Hang with family/friends

**Approach men you find to be your type

**Online dating, blind dating

** Hang out at spots outside your comfort zone

**Meet new people

**Go out alone

**Date multiple men, even if you don't see anything long term with them just to get out of your funk

**Ask your girlfriends boyfriends to introduce you to their male friends.

I tell my guy friend the EXACT same thing & he always has an excuse as to why it won't work before he even tries it.

I was single for 4 years and I NEVER had a problem meeting men and this was during the time where I HATED ALL MEN, lol. Your urgency for a relationship is probably what's scaring men off.  No man wants to meet a woman on Monday & have her talking about being in a relationship by Wednesday night. There are much more exciting things in life than a man.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Honeycoated on March 16, 2012 at 6:59pm

Didnt you make a post one about you were going to try the going out by yourself thing? Did you do it?

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Permalink Reply by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on March 16, 2012 at 7:39pm

I kind of believe this also.  Its like when you approach a man, in a way you become the chaser, its like you automatically "like him more than he likes you"  I cant explain it but I feel you, but it still doesnt stop me from meeting new ppl.  If it seem as if its heading in that direction, then I'll just let it go and wont put any effort into it. 

 
Love is a Losing Game said:

@black this is refreshing to read....I always thought men did not like to be approached by women. For me, I think the dynamic automatically changes once a woman appoaches the man. Its like his natural 'chase' mechanisims are turned off. I think men treat u differently if u approach them v. them approaching us. I'm not shy to approach a man but I've stopped doing it. I guess I wanna know that he 'chose' me. I might get back into it after reading this

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Bonita on March 16, 2012 at 8:42pm

Without reading what everyone else said here goes. In your case I advice that you do some house keeping and by that I mean taking care of yourself and learn how to be happy. Not sure if you read Siren's recent blog but one very important point she made was for you not to depend on someone for your happiness. Even my mum had given me that advice because unfortunately men will disappoint you even if they love you. In her words "don't let your husband define your happiness!" No one especially a guy would come into a situation with that burden of filling a gap and making you happy 24/7.

Try to focus on something else and then a guy will come to you. Trust people can smell a desperate chick from miles away. I moved solo and had for the first time had to do thing solo. I was not going to sit home just because I didn't know anyone. I actively went out and did things. You should try that. Date yourself and someone will want to date you.

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Permalink Reply by onfire on March 16, 2012 at 9:26pm

i love the "date myself and someone will want to date me" part!!!! thanks!!!!

Bonita said:

Without reading what everyone else said here goes. In your case I advice that you do some house keeping and by that I mean taking care of yourself and learn how to be happy. Not sure if you read Siren's recent blog but one very important point she made was for you not to depend on someone for your happiness. Even my mum had given me that advice because unfortunately men will disappoint you even if they love you. In her words "don't let your husband define your happiness!" No one especially a guy would come into a situation with that burden of filling a gap and making you happy 24/7.

Try to focus on something else and then a guy will come to you. Trust people can smell a desperate chick from miles away. I moved solo and had for the first time had to do thing solo. I was not going to sit home just because I didn't know anyone. I actively went out and did things. You should try that. Date yourself and someone will want to date you.

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Permalink Reply by onfire on March 16, 2012 at 9:27pm

that night i posted that i went out alone. no one approached me though. but i did feel good and a bit awkward going out alone and trying to enjoy myself

Honeycoated said:

Didnt you make a post one about you were going to try the going out by yourself thing? Did you do it?

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Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on March 16, 2012 at 10:28pm

We all do that/go through that. Did you make eye contact, were you hiding in the corner?

Did you post up at the bar (where there is light) and you can look and smile at the guys when they were buying their drinks? They won't approach you if you didn't look friendly.

onfire said:

that night i posted that i went out alone. no one approached me though. but i did feel good and a bit awkward going out alone and trying to enjoy myself

Honeycoated said:

Didnt you make a post one about you were going to try the going out by yourself thing? Did you do it?

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Permalink Reply by Bonita on March 16, 2012 at 10:43pm

When I go out solo I tend to sit at the bar and they flock to you. I would even hit the dance floor solo and before you know it someone will try to dance with you.I personally don't like dancing with any jack and jill so it gets tricky and a potential can notice you sending guys away and be scared to come up to you..no one likes rejection.

OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:

We all do that/go through that. Did you make eye contact, were you hiding in the corner?

Did you post up at the bar (where there is light) and you can look and smile at the guys when they were buying their drinks? They won't approach you if you didn't look friendly.
onfire said:

that night i posted that i went out alone. no one approached me though. but i did feel good and a bit awkward going out alone and trying to enjoy myself
Honeycoated said:

Didnt you make a post one about you were going to try the going out by yourself thing? Did you do it?

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