I felt the need to mention that (I know ya'll might get cautious about post's like this because of all the crazies lurkin') I will not be posting about stalking people next week. So don't be giving me the *side eye* cause of other peoples randomness! lol
Okay so, I am only 21 and I feel like I have the body of a woman who has had 3 children. All throughout the first two years high school I was very thin ( around 120) with 34DD breast ( and always being teased for having no butt). I finally became a healthy by making my weight up lifting weights, becoming a very fit 130 lbs. After graduation I never really was as active as I was before, I didn't gain weight but became less muscular ( if that makes sense) which filled out my shape a little. A year after graduation I started college, at this time I was about 150lbs with a 36DDD. After my first year at school I weighed in at about 180-185 with a very full 38DDD. During summer break I lost some weight and started my sophomore year at 130lbs with a 36DDD. Fast forward to a year later after taking time off from school due to financial issues, I find my self depressed and back at 160lbs with a 38DDD. Last year I managed to keep my weight around 140 only fluctuating 5lbs lower of higher. This year so far I have maintained 135lbs, the problem being that now I am a 34D sometimes 34DD given the brand of bra. I haven't been a D cup since the summer before my freshmen year of high school! I don't care about people thinking I am too fat or too skinny because I look good either way, my waist always measures 10" smaller than my bust and hips, and no cellulite. I hate keeping two sets of clothing, and I hate the stretch marks I have all over my body. The ones in normal places are whatever, but on the backs of my calves, arm pits, and knees are way too much for my age! I know I have to exercise and eat healthy but even then I feel like I just can't win. When I am heavier I have shape like Kim K ( sadly without the donk) but it feels unnatural because I am not toned (Plus I cannot fit my boobs in anything). When I am slimmer I feel self conscious about my lack of butt. My ideal body for me is 140lbs because I feel as proportioned as possible for me(I will never have a donk), but when I am active daily I become too thin ( I suspect this is also why I don't have periods). Now with my lack of butt and breast I feel like I have a bootydo, I don't but i feel that way. Im scared ill loose the rest of my boobs, and I have wide shoulders so it would be dreadful. I just don't know what to do with myself! :( Any advise? Am I being way too picky?
Sorry about my grammar, and the long post.