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RANT! Weight fluctuation has taken it's toll on me.
I felt the need to mention that (I know ya'll might get cautious about post's like this because of all the crazies lurkin') I will not be posting about stalking people next week. So don't be giving me the *side eye* cause of other peoples randomness! lol
Okay so, I am only 21 and I feel like I have the body of a woman who has had 3 children. All throughout the first two years high school I was very thin ( around 120) with 34DD breast ( and always being teased for having no butt). I finally became a healthy by making my weight up lifting weights, becoming a very fit 130 lbs. After graduation I never really was as active as I was before, I didn't gain weight but became less muscular ( if that makes sense) which filled out my shape a little. A year after graduation I started college, at this time I was about 150lbs with a 36DDD. After my first year at school I weighed in at about 180-185 with a very full 38DDD. During summer break I lost some weight and started my sophomore year at 130lbs with a 36DDD. Fast forward to a year later after taking time off from school due to financial issues, I find my self depressed and back at 160lbs with a 38DDD. Last year I managed to keep my weight around 140 only fluctuating 5lbs lower of higher. This year so far I have maintained 135lbs, the problem being that now I am a 34D sometimes 34DD given the brand of bra. I haven't been a D cup since the summer before my freshmen year of high school! I don't care about people thinking I am too fat or too skinny because I look good either way, my waist always measures 10" smaller than my bust and hips, and no cellulite. I hate keeping two sets of clothing, and I hate the stretch marks I have all over my body. The ones in normal places are whatever, but on the backs of my calves, arm pits, and knees are way too much for my age! I know I have to exercise and eat healthy but even then I feel like I just can't win. When I am heavier I have shape like Kim K ( sadly without the donk) but it feels unnatural because I am not toned (Plus I cannot fit my boobs in anything). When I am slimmer I feel self conscious about my lack of butt. My ideal body for me is 140lbs because I feel as proportioned as possible for me(I will never have a donk), but when I am active daily I become too thin ( I suspect this is also why I don't have periods). Now with my lack of butt and breast I feel like I have a bootydo, I don't but i feel that way. Im scared ill loose the rest of my boobs, and I have wide shoulders so it would be dreadful. I just don't know what to do with myself! :( Any advise? Am I being way too picky?
Sorry about my grammar, and the long post.
Okay so, I am only 21 and I feel like I have the body of a woman who has had 3 children. All throughout the first two years high school I was very thin ( around 120) with 34DD breast ( and always being teased for having no butt). I finally became a healthy by making my weight up lifting weights, becoming a very fit 130 lbs. After graduation I never really was as active as I was before, I didn't gain weight but became less muscular ( if that makes sense) which filled out my shape a little. A year after graduation I started college, at this time I was about 150lbs with a 36DDD. After my first year at school I weighed in at about 180-185 with a very full 38DDD. During summer break I lost some weight and started my sophomore year at 130lbs with a 36DDD. Fast forward to a year later after taking time off from school due to financial issues, I find my self depressed and back at 160lbs with a 38DDD. Last year I managed to keep my weight around 140 only fluctuating 5lbs lower of higher. This year so far I have maintained 135lbs, the problem being that now I am a 34D sometimes 34DD given the brand of bra. I haven't been a D cup since the summer before my freshmen year of high school! I don't care about people thinking I am too fat or too skinny because I look good either way, my waist always measures 10" smaller than my bust and hips, and no cellulite. I hate keeping two sets of clothing, and I hate the stretch marks I have all over my body. The ones in normal places are whatever, but on the backs of my calves, arm pits, and knees are way too much for my age! I know I have to exercise and eat healthy but even then I feel like I just can't win. When I am heavier I have shape like Kim K ( sadly without the donk) but it feels unnatural because I am not toned (Plus I cannot fit my boobs in anything). When I am slimmer I feel self conscious about my lack of butt. My ideal body for me is 140lbs because I feel as proportioned as possible for me(I will never have a donk), but when I am active daily I become too thin ( I suspect this is also why I don't have periods). Now with my lack of butt and breast I feel like I have a bootydo, I don't but i feel that way. Im scared ill loose the rest of my boobs, and I have wide shoulders so it would be dreadful. I just don't know what to do with myself! :( Any advise? Am I being way too picky?
Sorry about my grammar, and the long post.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by shasha on -
Thanks Devyn :)
I try to maintain a routine, but as I said I get very thin and get back aches from my breast. I didn't mean to compare myself to kim k like I want to be like that. That's just the way my figure is when I am heavier, Im trying to have the best body possible for me naturally. It just seems like every time I lift a finger I am back around 130lbs. I thought about checking into the Thyroid thing, but my mom say's im overacting. Then again I feel like she's biased because she was a size 4-6 until in her late 30's. She hated being teased about being thin, and encouraged me to gain weight so I wouldn't go through the same.
Devyn AKA Dominique Devereaux said:Awww. All of your weight fluctuations are due to stress and depression! Whatever you are going through will pass. You have to have a routine in order to balance all of life's ups and downs. Mix up your routine as well.
You really should see a doctor so they can advise you on nutrition and physical activity and maybe see if maybe you have a thyroid problem which may also contribute to your weight flip flops.
And lastly, dont compare yourself to anyone (esp that damn Kardashian chick) - you are exactly how youre supposed to be- embrace it and love yourself!
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Permalink Reply by MYPRESISBLACK!!! on -
I think that you are probably naturally on the thinner side especially since your mom was/is thin. It apears that she may have inadvertently pushed her insecurities off on you and pushed you into a lifelong battle of trying to not be what you naturally are. I have to say that I'm a DD and a I was a D and a D is not small by any means. I think that the yo yo weight is what will give you stretch marks in strange places. The only thing I can suggest is to eat right, and work out to stay healthy. Do some leg lifts and squats to tone your legs and butt and don't be so hard on yourself. Try cocoa butter for the stretch marks. A positive body image and a healthy dose of endorphins from working out may also help you keep the depression in check. LOVE YOURSELF for who you are. Good luck.
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Permalink Reply by Siren on -
Devyn & MPIB gave great advice I used to be insecure about having no booty when I was your age but you can't have it all. When you exercise there are exercises you can do to firm it up but you can't "grow" a donk trust me I tried... I didn't get ass, hips, and thighs until I was 30 and check your thyroid as well. I have issues with my thyroid and I didn't know what was wrong at first (depression can be triggered by thyroid disease as well) as for the stretch marks cocoa butter works also raw shea butter and Olive Oil too. Love yourself just the way you are as hard as you working trying to change your body somebody else is envying it.
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Permalink Reply by Coco on -
Lack of Sleep and being on an emotional rollercoaster will also contribute to the weight issues that you are having... one word...hormones! You can't lose weight in a healthy manner and keep it off long-term if you’re unfulfilled emotionally and do nothing to address your feelings. As women, a lot of us strive to obtain balance in our lives and our best intentions often get put aside for family, friends, jobs, school and all sorts of things. I definitely agree with Devyn, have your thyroid checked out...
Good Luck!
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Permalink Reply by Seductress on -
Aww I'm sorry you're going through all this but as women we all go through body image issues. I'd say the first step is to just accept you for you and be happy with who you are. Also just aim to be healthy and your body will naturally gravitate to its natural state. I'm a thick girl and I used to want to change that so bad so I can identify with your struggles.everybody always wants what they don't have. But all the advice the ladies have given you is great! I hope it helps.
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