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RED FLAGS
Hey my loves!!!! It's been awhile since ive vented to you guys. And you guys are the only ones that get me, I mean my friends do. But idk I just love talking to yall. Anyway let me get to it. I have a friend that just got into a relationship and she feels like she knows everything....now might I add that she just got out of something with her last boyfriend who was cheating on her the whole entire relationship, she hasn't been with many guys so she doesn't have much experince but she feels like she knows everything about men. Now this is where Im like her lack of experince comes into play. The guy she's with now SEEMED like a great guy he's a Christian goes to church, great job educated cool guy. Well to me a red flag appeared they had sex she gave him a condom he pretended to put it on and he didn't and after it was over said he didn't use one. Now this was the first time they had sex!!! Im like that's not ok and so she said something to him about it he avoided it. Didn't wanna talk about it. I'm like uh red flag but she didn't really think so. And then the second time they had sex he did it agian. And then on top of that she says the sex is bad. So now she doesn't wanna have sex with him because of the bad sex but her reason is because god is trying to tell her something. Everything else between them is great and they don't need to be having sex. Might I add they have only been together for a month. Now I'm thinking god is not telling you this, you just don't wanna have sex with him because its bad! He came over to her house expecting to get some and she told him no. I'm like well what's the point of that?? It's the new stages of your relationship. I'm like well talk to him about it she doesn't want to! My thing with her is that on Twitter and fb she brags about how great he is but gets on the phone with me and complains. I'm thinking they ain't no future Frontin. I think thars her problem tho she brags a lot and she hates to be wrong! Might I add that her dude sent her a picture of himself that his ex took the capation read his name and his ex. She asked him about it and yall when i say dude avoided that s*** something serious, he was like uh?? What are talking about?? Saying he didn't put that. Pretty much mind f****** her and she didn't think anything of it. And how she knowd its his ex because she went on his facebook.. Smh. Now maybe its just me or alot of these red flags?? i havent said much because hell it all seems like common sense to me. But idk. Have you guys had friends like this before?? I mean I've seen red flags too but ignored them and yea got hurt but I would think since she certain signs from her last boyfriend she would know. I would speak to her about iy but she doesnt listen and she might think im hating. So what do you guys think?? Am I right about these red flags? Should I say something or let her figurre it out??
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by PlaneJaneLane on -
Mine eyes hurt.
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Permalink Reply by mese on -
lol! Sorry!! Most people on here are used to my long ass posts!! I can't tell a short story for s*** lol
PlaneJaneLane said:Mine eyes hurt.
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Permalink Reply by DB on -
I have a few people I know like this, over time I've learned to not say s*** about their s*** to them! No matter how nicely you say it, they will either think you're jealous, don't know what you're talking about, or like you think you're better than them. The fact she's complaining means she sees those red flags but If she wants to ignore them, thats on her, not you! Side note: I hate when friends get in relationships and start acting like they know all and see all about love and relations... Just wanna hit them in the damn neck
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Permalink Reply by mese on
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exactly I think she was so caught up in the moment of meeting such a good guy is pretty much what she wants in a man, shes told her family about him brags about him on Twitter lol. She doesn't want the relationship to fail. And yea that's how i look at it. And i think she thinks I'm bitter. Which I'm really not...far from it. She did a tweet about single bitter friends and this dude we know who she told me was always texting her he's married so I said I think he likes you so she went back and tolf him I said that he tweeted well i hope its not the one that thinks we have something going shes lame and she says I'm not even gonna answer that...I just shook my head.
DB said:I have a few people I know like this, over time I've learned to not say s*** about their s*** to them! No matter how nicely you say it, they will either think you're jealous, don't know what you're talking about, or like you think you're better than them. The fact she's complaining means she sees those red flags but If she wants to ignore them, thats on her, not you! Side note: I hate when friends get in relationships and start acting like they know all and see all about love and relations... Just wanna hit them in the damn neck
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Permalink Reply by Ms. BoiBye on -
DB said it all.
I would leave it alone. She not going to listen to you. I would also let her vent and then change the subject on her ass. So she cannot say you ever said anything. She seems like the type to bring something to your attention then you co-sign and she goes back and tells him you brought it to her attention. But she do need to go get tested cuz niggas is nasty
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Permalink Reply by mese on
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she is like that!! Ms. BoiBye said:DB said it all.
I would leave it alone. She not going to listen to you. I would also let her vent and then change the subject on her ass. So she cannot say you ever said anything. She seems like the type to bring something to your attention then you co-sign and she goes back and tells him you brought it to her attention. But she do need to go get tested cuz niggas is nasty
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Permalink Reply by Love is a Losing Game on
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Yea, I would kinda hint that she should be careful and leave it alone. If u wanna press it, just be prepared to lose a friend. Anf those constant Facebook updates, the fact that she is braggin on social networking shows that she just wants to say she has one and everything is so honky-dory, but most of those FB braggers show their insecurity in their relationships in their posts, and they cant even see it. I say keep it low key, but yea, change the subject........if a chick said I was jealous due to a notification, I just might slap the s*** out outta her. Can't stand bishes who settle and think they got the gold. Oh yea, and I never let a man's "religious practices" make me think he is a "good man," going to church is not gon do it, it MUST be in your mind and heart to be a good man.
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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on -
I was about to say the same damn thing. She better get it tested because that nasty azz mofo is f****** her and a couple other people. She don't want to get caught. Then I wouldn't let her tell me anything else bad about him. Every time she started venting I'd say: That ain't what you posted to fb and twitter so I don't want to hear it.
Ms. BoiBye said:DB said it all.
I would leave it alone. She not going to listen to you. I would also let her vent and then change the subject on her ass. So she cannot say you ever said anything. She seems like the type to bring something to your attention then you co-sign and she goes back and tells him you brought it to her attention. But she do need to go get tested cuz niggas is nasty
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Permalink Reply by marissa taylor on -
i have a friend like that ... but she knows now not to vent to me ... if she don't want truth ... so now she just calls me with her B.S and brag about how great her life is with baby's daddy ... note this nigga been with her for 10 years and she still can't get this nigga to move out his mama basement and get a place with her and there 2 kids ... yes i said 2 kids... or put a ring on it .... now that sounds like paradise ... doesn't it Ladies
some women just aren't real about who they really are ... some feel the need to be in relationship to feel like there someone ... people that usually go on facebook and post about there relationship ... usually ain't got s*** going on .... they do it for the attention... its almost as if they use facebook as a way to hide behind the fact that there men ain't s*** ....but yes i would just let her vent and then go .... isn't the weather great outside today? ... just switch that convo the hell up .
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Permalink Reply by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on -
So she didn't think anything of him not wearing th conodm, but then he told her afterwards, AND she didn't check the second time to make sure????? If someone did that ish to me, (I did have someone take it off during the middle and I didn't knw until the end) but my first thought was he has HIV. I didn't even think about being pregnant. In this day and age, anyone who does not use protection, especially with someone they haven't been with long , is infected. Someone here always say, "the only one who ain't afraid to catch a cold, is someone who already has it, or something like that".
You need to tell her to go get tested. You tell me she didn't think that anyway??? Find a story on the internet about someone intentionally giving others HIV and forward it to her, people really do s*** like that. I hope she's okay though.
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Permalink Reply by mese on
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he told her he gets checked every 6 months. That's why she didn't think anything of it....and she honestly thought about the preganant thing before anything else
MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! said:So she didn't think anything of him not wearing th conodm, but then he told her afterwards, AND she didn't check the second time to make sure????? If someone did that ish to me, (I did have someone take it off during the middle and I didn't knw until the end) but my first thought was he has HIV. I didn't even think about being pregnant. In this day and age, anyone who does not use protection, especially with someone they haven't been with long , is infected. Someone here always say, "the only one who ain't afraid to catch a cold, is someone who already has it, or something like that".
You need to tell her to go get tested. You tell me she didn't think that anyway??? Find a story on the internet about someone intentionally giving others HIV and forward it to her, people really do s*** like that. I hope she's okay though.
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Permalink Reply by mese on
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she has very stuck up attitude about a lot of s***. marissa taylor said:i have a friend like that ... but she knows now not to vent to me ... if she don't want truth ... so now she just calls me with her B.S and brag about how great her life is with baby's daddy ... note this nigga been with her for 10 years and she still can't get this nigga to move out his mama basement and get a place with her and there 2 kids ... yes i said 2 kids... or put a ring on it .... now that sounds like paradise ... doesn't it Ladies
some women just aren't real about who they really are ... some feel the need to be in relationship to feel like there someone ... people that usually go on facebook and post about there relationship ... usually ain't got s*** going on .... they do it for the attention... its almost as if they use facebook as a way to hide behind the fact that there men ain't s*** ....but yes i would just let her vent and then go .... isn't the weather great outside today? ... just switch that convo the hell up .
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