For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
I found a sugar daddy; he's a fifty y.o. White business man from NY city. Turns out he wants to be serious. So serious that he took me to look at homes in NJ last week (this is not my old baller; he took me to look at homes in Jersey too but he was originally from Philly). Well, this morning he text me saying he bought the home I liked. Now, I lied about everything when I first met him because I didn't think this would bloom into a relationship (thought it would be along the lines of the girl with the pay arrangement with the old guy). I lied about my name, my age...everything. Now, I don't think he will be mad when I tell him but, there is one HUGE thing I 'forgot' to tell him: I have a child. I didn't tell him initially because I was in it for a quick buck. Now, I want to move in and don't know what to do. Should I move in with him? There are several other issues to be discussed as well like:
1) My family and friends judging me for moving in with an old, White man.
2) The area, where the home is, having a population of roughly 3,000 people of which only 66 are Black. I don't like that; especially for my child.
Thoughts?
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Permalink Reply by PlaneJaneLane on April 15, 2012 at 10:07pm Did he ever ask you if you had a child? Can the name you use with him be counted or perceived as a nickname? I have no idea what to do in this situation. If I do lie about my name, I usually lie about my last name because I forget to answer to anything else.
I think he may not mind you have a child because he does not have any. I would tell him I gave him my nick name but this________ is my real name. If he presses, I'd say im a private person and I dont tell everyone my real info until I know that they can be considered a friend. For the house I would see if he would consider lookin into an area that you feel comfortable with. Tell him you saw some cute ones there and you didnt know that he would make a purchase so quickly. You game girl, just work your magic.
Permalink Reply by BabyBallerCheeks on April 15, 2012 at 10:40pm @PlaneJane He never asked if I had children but I did make up a name similar to mines. Let's say my name is Crystal and I told him my name is Kristen so, yeah...it could possibly be used as a nickname.
@LoveIsLosingGame I said this morning, "Wow! That was fast." Then I tried to get him to back out of it because I want to stay in Manhattan. However, he REALLY wants this place so, the deal is over. The house in the suburbs of New Jersey and my child and I will just have to be numbers 67 and 68. We'll see...
Permalink Reply by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on April 15, 2012 at 10:44pm How long have yall been "dating"?? If it's been a while and you still didn't tell him what your real name is then IDK. I can see you telling him you have a child, thats the easy part, but that you lied about your name and he's been calling you that AND you've been answering..lol...that would be the hard part IMO. Does he have relationship potential? Or you just in it for a little while until you come up or find your next baller? Do you want to move your child into the house with this man? Did he undrestand the nature of the relationship in the beginning? If he did then it may be easy to tell him how you feel.
Permalink Reply by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on April 15, 2012 at 10:55pm @ Baby Baller make sure you tell him you want to have a housewarming and invite all your "friends" and he invite his. :-)
Depending on how long you two have known each other I would just say something like "Oh, the reason I didn't tell you about my child is because I usually wait X months before I discuss him with ppl for safety reasons". The name altering is minor. Asian, African, and many other people with ethnic sounding names change theirs to assimilate. Now as far as:
1) My family and friends judging me for moving in with an old, White man.
Let them judge you ALL they want...I doubt that they will be casting their stones from inside a new 1.5 million dollar home.
2) The area, where the home is, having a population of roughly 3,000 people of which only 66 are Black. I don't like that; especially for my child.
Join mocha moms, jack and jill, start an african american playgroup, and find the closest urban area and sign up for sports and activities in the area.
Permalink Reply by BabyBallerCheeks on April 16, 2012 at 12:35am @MsUCanNevaGetEnuff We've only been dating for a couple of months. Ummm, he's a sweet guy. Honestly, I'm in it for the money so if relationship potential = his net worth than, YES. He is very much relationship potential. I'm in it for a little while, let's say 5 years or so, until I come up or find my next baller. Do I want to move my child into the house with this man? I'm uneasy with my child around anyone so my answer is no. I think he's nice but I have a hard time trusting even the greatest of men (watch too much T.V., too many court cases, lived in too many hoods...sorry). But, that's been a struggle of mines with any man I meet. Whether I am in it for the money or not.
@McKennaHylton You know how Black people are. The first ones to ask for money and the first ones to tell people how you had to f*** an old person to get it. As for the Mocha Moms and Jack and Jill, there is only one problem: a lot of the Afr. American women in that area are prominent middle aged women. The same ones that will look down at my gold digging lifestyle. They may ostracize me for dating someone twice my age just like they did Marlo of RHOA and Gretchen Rossi of RHO Orange County.
Permalink Reply by Bonita on April 16, 2012 at 12:40am +1
MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! said:
@ Baby Baller make sure you tell him you want to have a housewarming and invite all your "friends" and he invite his. :-)
Permalink Reply by Bonita on April 16, 2012 at 12:43am Telling him sooner than later that way you don't move in then show up with your child. he sounds way too in to you to care but protect yourself i.e. get stuff in writing coz if something should happen to him you will get kicked out of that house.
Get ready to meet the family and all the best Jersey is really nice!
Permalink Reply by BabyBallerCheeks on April 16, 2012 at 12:50am I can't wait to put together this house warming. LOL. They are going to know something is up when they see an influx of Black people heading to the area.
Permalink Reply by Kirk delaney miller on April 16, 2012 at 1:05am
Permalink Reply by BabyBallerCheeks on April 16, 2012 at 1:18am Lol. The only person who needs to be disgraced is your mother who clearly failed at convincing you to stay in school past 3rd grade you mumbling bafoon.
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