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Taking advantage
About 6-7 months ago a relative (not by blood) fell on hard times and lost his job. Once he lost his job, the comfortable lifestyle he was living caved in and he ended up having to sell his car and a few other possessions just to stay afloat. Now, this relative is my roommate and was before he fell on hard times do naturally, I wanted to do all I could to help. I ended up loaning him a little under 1000 to cover his half of our apt expenses and told him we could work out a schedule with my car so that he could find another job and run errands... Lately, this situation has been f****** me up!! I mean, it's been months and he's been working so I'm kind of tight that he hasn't fully paid me back yet. I get that he's still kind of in debt but I'm a student, s**** real for me too right now! Besides that, I have been needing to run a lot of errands lately preparing for a friends wedding and on 2 recent occasions, my car was already gone by the time I woke up, no notification, no nothing. This relative helped me out when I didn't have enough credit to even get a place and drove me around when I was in the process of gettin my car so in a sense I felt I owed him. How would you all handle this situation?? I'm just getting tired of not being able to get up and do what I want/need because 1) that money I loaned was my leisure money and 2) my car stays gone from the damn Parking lot!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ms. BoiBye on -
Just sit down and tell him. That he needs to give you more notice with your own damn vehicle and you need your money back. Have him sign a schedule saying that he will give you x amount of money a month or every two weeks. So if it gets messy you have documentation for court. Hate to have to take it that far, but friends and fam will screw you in the ass with no KY before strangers. Good Luck!
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Permalink Reply by University of Smitty on -
This is the main reason that I do NOT loan out my car. If I'm to busy to give you a ride, you look real good on the bus. Besides, you never have anywhere to go until the second somebody pulls off in yo sh*t. Next thing you know you're late......f**k that
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Permalink Reply by RoyaleT on -
Flat out ask him for the money and the car keys. Its not personal unless he makes it personal. If he has any questions explain to him how helping him has been seriously inconviencing you especially with his lack of communication. Hopefully you two can arrive at a resolution that works for you but correct this situation before it ruins your relationship....good luck
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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on -
Ok, you say he did the same for you when you needed it. How long did it take you to get on your feet? That's how long you give him to get on his. If you are past this time period then let him know your buck stops right here. TAKE your car keys back and ask for your money back. Don't get snippy. Just ask for it nice and let it go. Good luck.
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Permalink Reply by DB on -
Yeah I've definitely had a few conversations with him before and the "misunderstandings" are still happening. At this point, I have a lot of other things I'm dealing with so this is just adding to it and I really feel like our relationship is already ruined smh
RoyaleT said:Flat out ask him for the money and the car keys. Its not personal unless he makes it personal. If he has any questions explain to him how helping him has been seriously inconviencing you especially with his lack of communication. Hopefully you two can arrive at a resolution that works for you but correct this situation before it ruins your relationship....good luck
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Permalink Reply by DB on
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The apartment is his, I (being a student) didn't have enough credit at the time to get an apartment on my own (at least not a nice one!) so he let me move in with him, both of our names are on the lease now so that I can have a renters history and won't have any issues getting a place on my own in the future. Driving me around lasted for about 3 months because I was new to this state and didn't have my car within reach yet. So we're going on 7 months with him still carless, way longer than he drove me around and way longer than I expected him to be depending on me
CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she said:Ok, you say he did the same for you when you needed it. How long did it take you to get on your feet? That's how long you give him to get on his. If you are past this time period then let him know your buck stops right here. TAKE your car keys back and ask for your money back. Don't get snippy. Just ask for it nice and let it go. Good luck.
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Permalink Reply by Dragon Slayer Puss on
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Its hard when a person has been there for you, and then they need u to be there for them. I usually go though hell and highwater for those folk. I just be feelin too bad about the situation to leave them in need when they came to my aid. Let's be honest, there are not many people who will help you at ur lowest. I say tell him u need ur car more, use the suggestion of a new schedule and be sure to include monthly repayments of the money. I'd also go an extra mile and maybe look out for 'trappers' for him and job openings, also speaking to my friends to see if they know of any jobs he'd qualify for. I'd help him wit his resume and choosing a fit for an interview too, hell we can even practce questions. Maybe more money in his pocket will mean more in your faster, lol. I'd try my best to help him get on his feet with leaving him or treating him bad. You never know when/if you will need help again.
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Permalink Reply by Collete on -
+1....
Love is a Losing Game said:Its hard when a person has been there for you, and then they need u to be there for them. I usually go though hell and highwater for those folk. I just be feelin too bad about the situation to leave them in need when they came to my aid. Let's be honest, there are not many people who will help you at ur lowest. I say tell him u need ur car more, use the suggestion of a new schedule and be sure to include monthly repayments of the money. I'd also go an extra mile and maybe look out for 'trappers' for him and job openings, also speaking to my friends to see if they know of any jobs he'd qualify for. I'd help him wit his resume and choosing a fit for an interview too, hell we can even practce questions. Maybe more money in his pocket will mean more in your faster, lol. I'd try my best to help him get on his feet with leaving him or treating him bad. You never know when/if you will need help again.
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Permalink Reply by l8dy-c on -
Tell him you need it.I went through the same situation, I gave her money and that was in Dec.2011
She gave some bs on when her taxes come, blah, blah blah... Then of course took her time doing them
and giving me no explanation. Well of course she had problems and her tax money was taken because she owed and then more bs.
I never was told any of this until she hot tired of me asking. If course she acted like I did/said something. Which I expected and I gladly just kept telling her my side. Then, she finally sz I have it if you need it and I said, yes please bring it. And she did, now our relationship is akward. But be prepared for that part. Because people like these know exactly what they are doing.
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Permalink Reply by PlaneJaneLane on -
You NEVER "lend" a family member or friend money and expect it back, you're supposed to give it back and if they pay you back then good for you. Cuz that's how you ruin friendships and relationships.
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