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Permalink Reply by Bonita on March 4, 2012 at 7:51pm

I come from a two parent home and almost everyone I grew up with did..but you should know am African so it may make a difference. Education is always stressed in most african households and there is alot of pressure to suceed. Believe it or not am the black sheep of my family and alot of folks will say I have done very well for my age. Tell that to my family though..

I don't know it any other way so can't say if I would have turned out any different otherwise. One or two parents as long as they do their best to raise you right, you will turn out okay..but adults ultimately make decisions for themselves so you can't really blame parents for thier kids choices imo.

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Permalink Reply by AllyNWonderland on March 4, 2012 at 8:02pm

*sigh*...sometimes you remind me of Tone with these post but I actually like you soooooo I'll answer this one....

There are a lot of people that are successful that come from single parent households, so just because you come from a 2 parent household doesn't mean you are likely to become more successful than those that come from single parent households.

I come from a 2 parent household and my parents are still happily married. My dad is a pediatric physician and my mom works in medical billing, I am 26 and a flight attendant but have also been a part time dancer...My mother knew I danced but it was our secret we vowed to take to our graves and never tell my dad...I was the only child for 15 years then my parents had my little brother. Even then, I was still spoiled and got everything I wanted. I am the black sheep of my family when it comes to my cousins and aunts because my parents are actually still together and I am exploring the world. Idk I don't think anyone wants to raise a child by themselves but things happen. I would rather get married first then have kids but whatever happens happens

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on March 4, 2012 at 8:22pm

Its funny that you ask this... TBH I always LIVED in a 2PH even if the parents weren't always my "parents" when I was born, my mother was 18, so I came from the hospital into my grandparents home, we lived there until my mom met my dad and moved us to Louisiana... when we moved to LA we lived with my grandmothers sister & brother n law for about 6 months until the wedding, then my mother and I moved in with my dad.  They were married until I was 24.  My dad is actually my stepfather.  But from day one I was his and he treated me as such, after the divorce and until his death.  The guy who got my mother pregnant was then, and is still nothing but a sperm donor. 

 

But anyway, I say its funny because I was thinking that growing up with my grandmother and her siblings there were 7 of them.  My eldest uncle I know him and a few of his kids but not a lot... But with my grandmother and her siblings all but one were married before they had kids.  My mother and her siblings and all of her cousins grew up in two parent households, there were no divorces... I was dumfounded when I realized that out of 30 grandchildren only 6 were married when they had children.  (2 died well before their childbearing years).  That being said, mostly everybody did eventually marry.  But still... Now my grandfathers family was older and most of his siblings were dead before I was even a thought, but the people that I do know its about half and half. 

I know none of this really has aything to do with your question, but still. 

 

I think its an excuse to say that because mama or daddy wasn't there I couldnt (fill in the blank).  In the end, a lot of mothers and fathers are giving their kids the right tools but some kids would rather be cool than smart. 

Its imperative for single parents to have a stable and POSITIVE support system.  Honestly, whether its a 2PH or 1PH, it still takes an entire village. 

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on March 4, 2012 at 8:31pm

you still in London????? looks like youre having a blast.
 
AllyNWonderland said:

*sigh*...sometimes you remind me of Tone with these post but I actually like you soooooo I'll answer this one....

There are a lot of people that are successful that come from single parent households, so just because you come from a 2 parent household doesn't mean you are likely to become more successful than those that come from single parent households.

I come from a 2 parent household and my parents are still happily married. My dad is a pediatric physician and my mom works in medical billing, I am 26 and a flight attendant but have also been a part time dancer...My mother knew I danced but it was our secret we vowed to take to our graves and never tell my dad...I was the only child for 15 years then my parents had my little brother. Even then, I was still spoiled and got everything I wanted. I am the black sheep of my family when it comes to my cousins and aunts because my parents are actually still together and I am exploring the world. Idk I don't think anyone wants to raise a child by themselves but things happen. I would rather get married first then have kids but whatever happens happens

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Permalink Reply by Goldie F***'n Fish on March 4, 2012 at 8:31pm

I come from a 2 parent household and I don't see the correlation between success and the parental guidance.

I have friends who come a 1 parent household and they are far more productive than I. 

It has more to do with the relationship building characteristics, IMO.

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Permalink Reply by Bonita on March 4, 2012 at 8:33pm

I was just about to say the same thing! You better not have come back with rain..we've had enough!
 
JustMe said:

you still in London????? looks like youre having a blast.
 
AllyNWonderland said:

*sigh*...sometimes you remind me of Tone with these post but I actually like you soooooo I'll answer this one....

There are a lot of people that are successful that come from single parent households, so just because you come from a 2 parent household doesn't mean you are likely to become more successful than those that come from single parent households.

I come from a 2 parent household and my parents are still happily married. My dad is a pediatric physician and my mom works in medical billing, I am 26 and a flight attendant but have also been a part time dancer...My mother knew I danced but it was our secret we vowed to take to our graves and never tell my dad...I was the only child for 15 years then my parents had my little brother. Even then, I was still spoiled and got everything I wanted. I am the black sheep of my family when it comes to my cousins and aunts because my parents are actually still together and I am exploring the world. Idk I don't think anyone wants to raise a child by themselves but things happen. I would rather get married first then have kids but whatever happens happens

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Permalink Reply by Love is a Losing Game on March 4, 2012 at 9:47pm

I did. My youngest bro's dad married my mom and raised us. I have seen some sad cases of two bio parents raising their kids so I don't think that the two parent thing is certain gold. I think it depends on the values instilled in the child while they are growing. The childhood forms the adulthood.

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Permalink Reply by livelife25 on March 4, 2012 at 9:55pm

My parents are still married 35 (or is it 36?) years later.  Like Bonita, my parents are not American.  I wouldn't say they're blissfully loved up, but they've settled into what works for them.  If I were my mom, I woulda left my dad a long time ago, cause lord knows he has a sharp tongue and an eye for the ladies, but whatever, it works for them (hell maybe this is why I'm not married, too quick to run for the door!).  They come home and sleep in the same bed every night, and they do sweet things for each other, like make breakfast and sit on the porch and talk.  My siblings and I are all "successful" as in multiple degree holders, business/land owners, and my sibs are married w/ families. I'm kinda the maverick in that I'm not really one for the traditonal family life and I've moved around and lived in a few places.  However, it was always expected that I would achieve certain things, so I did. 

 

I don't think 2 parent households always produce more successful people because my cousins grew up in a 2 parent household, a lot like mine, dad with a sharp tongue, etc.  However, a few of them dropped out of school, only one made it to college, and all of them (girl included) are caught up in the multiple baby mama/baby daddy thing.  So it depends on the QUALITY of the parents and their consistency in their message, whether it's a single or 2 parent household.

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Permalink Reply by AllyNWonderland on March 4, 2012 at 10:28pm

No boo I got back from London this morning!!! LOVED IT!!!!!! I wanna go back...I'm planning Amsterdam in May

JustMe said:

you still in London????? looks like youre having a blast.
 
AllyNWonderland said:

*sigh*...sometimes you remind me of Tone with these post but I actually like you soooooo I'll answer this one....

There are a lot of people that are successful that come from single parent households, so just because you come from a 2 parent household doesn't mean you are likely to become more successful than those that come from single parent households.

I come from a 2 parent household and my parents are still happily married. My dad is a pediatric physician and my mom works in medical billing, I am 26 and a flight attendant but have also been a part time dancer...My mother knew I danced but it was our secret we vowed to take to our graves and never tell my dad...I was the only child for 15 years then my parents had my little brother. Even then, I was still spoiled and got everything I wanted. I am the black sheep of my family when it comes to my cousins and aunts because my parents are actually still together and I am exploring the world. Idk I don't think anyone wants to raise a child by themselves but things happen. I would rather get married first then have kids but whatever happens happens

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Permalink Reply by blackfujones on March 4, 2012 at 10:33pm

i just asked a question. And personally it was harder for me and my brother bc we were the breadwinners at an early age

AllyNWonderland said:

*sigh*...sometimes you remind me of Tone with these post but I actually like you soooooo I'll answer this one....

There are a lot of people that are successful that come from single parent households, so just because you come from a 2 parent household doesn't mean you are likely to become more successful than those that come from single parent households.

I come from a 2 parent household and my parents are still happily married. My dad is a pediatric physician and my mom works in medical billing, I am 26 and a flight attendant but have also been a part time dancer...My mother knew I danced but it was our secret we vowed to take to our graves and never tell my dad...I was the only child for 15 years then my parents had my little brother. Even then, I was still spoiled and got everything I wanted. I am the black sheep of my family when it comes to my cousins and aunts because my parents are actually still together and I am exploring the world. Idk I don't think anyone wants to raise a child by themselves but things happen. I would rather get married first then have kids but whatever happens happens

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Permalink Reply by Sissy on March 4, 2012 at 11:02pm

I did. Still married and 34th anniversary coming up in June :)

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Permalink Reply by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on March 5, 2012 at 1:28am

I agree.  I really dont think it makes a difference.  Im not  from a traditional 2 parent home, my parents were never married, but Ive always had both of my parents at ALL times,   just because my dad wasnt with my mom, didnt mean anything..and I love them because they are soo coolll with each other.  My mom can call my dad if she needs something and he'll do it and vice versa.  My dad is also a  part of our family on my mom's side.. 

 Label et Fringe said:

I come from a 2 parent household and I don't see the correlation between success and the parental guidance.

I have friends who come a 1 parent household and they are far more productive than I. 

It has more to do with the relationship building characteristics, IMO.

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