Hi!

For as long as I can remember I’ve always been the ugly duckling. I was never the girl that got a lot of male attention and I was not the most popular girl in high school. Now at 23 I’ve moved back to Illinois after being away for about four years to be closer to my family and I’m finding it difficult to get out and meet people. I’m still kind of stuck in my ugly duckling stage. I’m just starting to wear makeup, change up my clothes, and take care of my body. I want to start dating and meet new people but I am not sure exactly how to. Since I’m an only child I really don’t have anyone else to ask.

Has anyone ever felt like this? If so how did you get out of it? Any help is appreciated!  :-)

Tags: b*******, duckling, fashion, is, makeup, this, ugly

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:(  

Paris said:

I was made fun of a lot for being really skinny when I was younger and now of for being over weight, wearing weaves and all kinds of stuff. It was from different people honestly. I thought about going to a therapist because I felt like whatever I tried I wasn't really happy.

Baller Alert said:

:(

Makeup won't help. You need to dig inside and see why you feel this way and get the mental fixed first.

Is there someone that made you feel this way?

Those are great traits. I feel you on the apprehension esp in a new city, just let as much YOU as you can come through naturally. Like MS said, smile, say hello, thank you...I mean, you gotta throw a bone out there. You're enough as you are. Keep working out, talk to a therapist if you need reinforcement, join the groups you think match your interests and do the things that make you happy. Just lift your spirits with no pressure on what the outcome is going to be because once you're on that frequency, that energy alone will attract people to you and they will be the right kind. And, you HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE! Lol


Paris said:

I feel like I do have something to offer but its hard to let that come out because I've always been the really quiet type. I didn't want to be too loud or too much you know.  I'd like to think that I'm friendly, honest, loyal, funny, intelligent etc. I have friends but not a lot because I find myself not wanting to do the same things that they want to do. I've started going back to church now so that I can get connected back to God again. I wasn't really fat but I've lost enough weight where I'm like a 33-26-39 I can actually see what my body could look like if I continue working out. Thats exactly what I thought before I moved here.

glamazon said:

:(

Girl, there's SOMETHING you have to offer. You not being popular, hanging out, and meeting people has little to nothing to do with whether you're actually really ugly or not, it's your self esteem and personality - how that comes off to people. What's your personality like? Do you have a personality? Do you have friends? Why not? Are you in at least decent shape? You're in a perfect position now really, because you can revamp yourself in your new city, make new friends and live the life you want to live.

I wish you guys knew how much your posts and the responses really help me out :-)! Anyway, when I was young, I went through this same lil phase. My mom used to tell me I was cute even tho EVERYBODY used to talk about me at school. I had an itty bitty curl (yes, jehri curl) and a big body. I'm 5'9 and been this height since I was like 13. I developed before everybody, and as a young girl, I didn't know how to hold it well. I had big feet, lol and not one guy would talk to me when his group of friends would approach my group. Lol, I laugh just recalling it! The unusal thing about me tho was I had a positive outlook on MY life and I think that made people notice me. When I got to high school, I had learned that I had to love ME for ME. I accepted that I might never be a size two and I def would never be a 5'5 cute lil thing, lol! Anyway, today, girl! Can't nobody tell me NOTHING! I'm still tall, got these ddd's and feet lol but I'm workin the HELL outta this ish! Lol! Got every pump in my size and I keeps my body the way I like it! My face is cuter, but its only cute cuz of what's going on behind it. My mind is what makes me beautiful and yours WILL do the same for u! You have got to be the BEST you, that you can be! Don't spend time thinking about what's not right. Focus on what is amazing about yourself, and honestly, the most amazing things are found inside of us! Make up and clothes are just the dressings. People want you and LOVE you for who u are, not how u look or what u have. Lasty, let me say this: this old lady told me that cute girls think that they have men because of the fact that they are cute or their bodies are right. She said that its not about the outside. Men, real men, want u for who u aare on the inside. Like a past post talking about cute people dating ugly folk. Its not the look, it's u that they want. Make sure u want yourself first! Good luck girl! Know that you are the s***! *snapping fingers* two snaps up and a back filled in motion! Lol
This made me sad. And i went thru an ugly duckling phase. especially in high school. people talked aabout skinny i was and how i need to eat i skipped school for almost a year it was horrible, I finally got out of that phase my senior year i become more outgoing, I started going out! i still have my moments tho. Take baby steps. It's gonna take awhile.  

Baller Alert said:

:(  

Paris said:

I was made fun of a lot for being really skinny when I was younger and now of for being over weight, wearing weaves and all kinds of stuff. It was from different people honestly. I thought about going to a therapist because I felt like whatever I tried I wasn't really happy.

Baller Alert said:

:(

Makeup won't help. You need to dig inside and see why you feel this way and get the mental fixed first.

Is there someone that made you feel this way?

@Mese, yea, I still have my days too. She pullin footballers tho, she gon b good! Lol. She just gotta think it, love it, and live it!

Ladies this a link to a video that addresses insecurities I think it is a great listen.

 

http://www.joycemeyer.org/BroadcastHome.aspx?video=The_Cure_for_the...

 

 

I too was an ugly duckling and shy... and I am more secure and confident in who I am than I used to be. It takes work and it isn't as hard as you think it just starts with stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying something new.

Thank you for this!!

glamazon said:

Those are great traits. I feel you on the apprehension esp in a new city, just let as much YOU as you can come through naturally. Like MS said, smile, say hello, thank you...I mean, you gotta throw a bone out there. You're enough as you are. Keep working out, talk to a therapist if you need reinforcement, join the groups you think match your interests and do the things that make you happy. Just lift your spirits with no pressure on what the outcome is going to be because once you're on that frequency, that energy alone will attract people to you and they will be the right kind. And, you HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE! Lol


Paris said:

I feel like I do have something to offer but its hard to let that come out because I've always been the really quiet type. I didn't want to be too loud or too much you know.  I'd like to think that I'm friendly, honest, loyal, funny, intelligent etc. I have friends but not a lot because I find myself not wanting to do the same things that they want to do. I've started going back to church now so that I can get connected back to God again. I wasn't really fat but I've lost enough weight where I'm like a 33-26-39 I can actually see what my body could look like if I continue working out. Thats exactly what I thought before I moved here.

glamazon said:

:(

Girl, there's SOMETHING you have to offer. You not being popular, hanging out, and meeting people has little to nothing to do with whether you're actually really ugly or not, it's your self esteem and personality - how that comes off to people. What's your personality like? Do you have a personality? Do you have friends? Why not? Are you in at least decent shape? You're in a perfect position now really, because you can revamp yourself in your new city, make new friends and live the life you want to live.

*Big Hug* Thank you!

Love is a Losing Game said:

I wish you guys knew how much your posts and the responses really help me out :-)! Anyway, when I was young, I went through this same lil phase. My mom used to tell me I was cute even tho EVERYBODY used to talk about me at school. I had an itty bitty curl (yes, jehri curl) and a big body. I'm 5'9 and been this height since I was like 13. I developed before everybody, and as a young girl, I didn't know how to hold it well. I had big feet, lol and not one guy would talk to me when his group of friends would approach my group. Lol, I laugh just recalling it! The unusal thing about me tho was I had a positive outlook on MY life and I think that made people notice me. When I got to high school, I had learned that I had to love ME for ME. I accepted that I might never be a size two and I def would never be a 5'5 cute lil thing, lol! Anyway, today, girl! Can't nobody tell me NOTHING! I'm still tall, got these ddd's and feet lol but I'm workin the HELL outta this ish! Lol! Got every pump in my size and I keeps my body the way I like it! My face is cuter, but its only cute cuz of what's going on behind it. My mind is what makes me beautiful and yours WILL do the same for u! You have got to be the BEST you, that you can be! Don't spend time thinking about what's not right. Focus on what is amazing about yourself, and honestly, the most amazing things are found inside of us! Make up and clothes are just the dressings. People want you and LOVE you for who u are, not how u look or what u have. Lasty, let me say this: this old lady told me that cute girls think that they have men because of the fact that they are cute or their bodies are right. She said that its not about the outside. Men, real men, want u for who u aare on the inside. Like a past post talking about cute people dating ugly folk. Its not the look, it's u that they want. Make sure u want yourself first! Good luck girl! Know that you are the s***! *snapping fingers* two snaps up and a back filled in motion! Lol

oh no don't be sad lol. The best thing is that its recognized as a problem and can be changed. lucky for you to get out of it in your senior year. I ended up getting out of high school early and I didn't attend prom. I decided to take a year and work on myself.

mese said:

This made me sad. And i went thru an ugly duckling phase. especially in high school. people talked aabout skinny i was and how i need to eat i skipped school for almost a year it was horrible, I finally got out of that phase my senior year i become more outgoing, I started going out! i still have my moments tho. Take baby steps. It's gonna take awhile.  

Baller Alert said:

:(  

Paris said:

I was made fun of a lot for being really skinny when I was younger and now of for being over weight, wearing weaves and all kinds of stuff. It was from different people honestly. I thought about going to a therapist because I felt like whatever I tried I wasn't really happy.

Baller Alert said:

:(

Makeup won't help. You need to dig inside and see why you feel this way and get the mental fixed first.

Is there someone that made you feel this way?

huge thank you for this...I watched and it is bookmarked!

Siren said:

Ladies this a link to a video that addresses insecurities I think it is a great listen.

 

http://www.joycemeyer.org/BroadcastHome.aspx?video=The_Cure_for_the...

 

 

I too was an ugly duckling and shy... and I am more secure and confident in who I am than I used to be. It takes work and it isn't as hard as you think it just starts with stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying something new.

It can be easy to feel that way if you always felt that way. Personally I think beauty comes from the inside. Cliché but true. If I think I’m the ish you have no choice but to think that. Start looking in the mirror and studying yourself. Try to pull a unique quality that you like and dwell on it. Fall in love with it. Obsess over it. Every single day.

Affirmations help too. “I’m beautiful. I’m worth it. I’m smart. I’m intelligent….” And those thoughts will become things. Next do what you need to do on the outside to make you feel better but don’t forget about the inside. There is nothing worse than an attractive insecure person.

If you need fashion help, start reading fashion blogs. One of my favs is Confessions of a Glamaholic. Watch YouTube tutorials.

But my best advice is start on the inside first. Beauty is confidence. Good Luck and kudos for trying to change your situation instead of just complaining about it.

Thanks for posting Siren!

Siren said:

Ladies this a link to a video that addresses insecurities I think it is a great listen.

 

http://www.joycemeyer.org/BroadcastHome.aspx?video=The_Cure_for_the...

 

 

I too was an ugly duckling and shy... and I am more secure and confident in who I am than I used to be. It takes work and it isn't as hard as you think it just starts with stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying something new.

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