Hi!

For as long as I can remember I’ve always been the ugly duckling. I was never the girl that got a lot of male attention and I was not the most popular girl in high school. Now at 23 I’ve moved back to Illinois after being away for about four years to be closer to my family and I’m finding it difficult to get out and meet people. I’m still kind of stuck in my ugly duckling stage. I’m just starting to wear makeup, change up my clothes, and take care of my body. I want to start dating and meet new people but I am not sure exactly how to. Since I’m an only child I really don’t have anyone else to ask.

Has anyone ever felt like this? If so how did you get out of it? Any help is appreciated!  :-)

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:(

Makeup won't help. You need to dig inside and see why you feel this way and get the mental fixed first.

Is there someone that made you feel this way?

:(

Girl, there's SOMETHING you have to offer. You not being popular, hanging out, and meeting people has little to nothing to do with whether you're actually really ugly or not, it's your self esteem and personality - how that comes off to people. What's your personality like? Do you have a personality? Do you have friends? Why not? Are you in at least decent shape? You're in a perfect position now really, because you can revamp yourself in your new city, make new friends and live the life you want to live.

 First and foremost everybody's beautiful.  Stop dwelling on your short comings sunshine I'm sure your fine and have plenty to offer  :)... Do you go out? Are you a social?

I was made fun of a lot for being really skinny when I was younger and now of for being over weight, wearing weaves and all kinds of stuff. It was from different people honestly. I thought about going to a therapist because I felt like whatever I tried I wasn't really happy.

Baller Alert said:

:(

Makeup won't help. You need to dig inside and see why you feel this way and get the mental fixed first.

Is there someone that made you feel this way?

I feel like I do have something to offer but its hard to let that come out because I've always been the really quiet type. I didn't want to be too loud or too much you know.  I'd like to think that I'm friendly, honest, loyal, funny, intelligent etc. I have friends but not a lot because I find myself not wanting to do the same things that they want to do. I've started going back to church now so that I can get connected back to God again. I wasn't really fat but I've lost enough weight where I'm like a 33-26-39 I can actually see what my body could look like if I continue working out. Thats exactly what I thought before I moved here.

glamazon said:

:(

Girl, there's SOMETHING you have to offer. You not being popular, hanging out, and meeting people has little to nothing to do with whether you're actually really ugly or not, it's your self esteem and personality - how that comes off to people. What's your personality like? Do you have a personality? Do you have friends? Why not? Are you in at least decent shape? You're in a perfect position now really, because you can revamp yourself in your new city, make new friends and live the life you want to live.

You have to deal with your issues first... Go to a therapist and work on liking & loving you!!!! The rest will fall into place... 

Thank you. I usually go to work, church, or out with my mom to the mall or dinner. I'd like to think that I'm social like I wont hide in the corner. I just haven't had many opportunities to go out yet.

Brii said:

 First and foremost everybody's beautiful.  Stop dwelling on your short comings sunshine I'm sure your fine and have plenty to offer  :)... Do you go out? Are you a social?

Thank you. I believe that I need to make an appointment tomorrow.

JustMe said:

You have to deal with your issues first... Go to a therapist and work on liking & loving you!!!! The rest will fall into place... 

THIS HERE!!  No matter how cute you are if your attitude stanks, it doesnt matter, no one will like you nor want to be friends with you.  You can be not attactive, but if you have high self-esteem and ACT like it, your good.  Be nice, friendly, approachable, smile when you see people.  Strike up converssations with strangers.  Have someone introduce you to someone.  Go online.  Try a social wesite and  strike up conversations.  Also, if you have a nice body - don't worry the summer is coming up so you're sure to find someone.   
 
glamazon said:

:(

Girl, there's SOMETHING you have to offer. You not being popular, hanging out, and meeting people has little to nothing to do with whether you're actually really ugly or not, it's your self esteem and personality - how that comes off to people. What's your personality like? Do you have a personality? Do you have friends? Why not? Are you in at least decent shape? You're in a perfect position now really, because you can revamp yourself in your new city, make new friends and live the life you want to live.

Thank you! I understand what you're saying. I dont think that I'm butt ugly or anything like that but I believe that I'm just in a phase. I just started a job and the people don't know me so I'll take this time to practice that so it can come naturally.

MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! said:

THIS HERE!!  No matter how cute you are if your attitude stanks, it doesnt matter, no one will like you nor want to be friends with you.  You can be not attactive, but if you have high self-esteem and ACT like it, your good.  Be nice, friendly, approachable, smile when you see people.  Strike up converssations with strangers.  Have someone introduce you to someone.  Go online.  Try a social wesite and  strike up conversations.  Also, if you have a nice body - don't worry the summer is coming up so you're sure to find someone.   
 
glamazon said:

:(

Girl, there's SOMETHING you have to offer. You not being popular, hanging out, and meeting people has little to nothing to do with whether you're actually really ugly or not, it's your self esteem and personality - how that comes off to people. What's your personality like? Do you have a personality? Do you have friends? Why not? Are you in at least decent shape? You're in a perfect position now really, because you can revamp yourself in your new city, make new friends and live the life you want to live.

Im like this too.  Im a little more open than I use to be, but still not as outgoing as I would like . (i think if i was a little more outgoing, I would have my baller by now) I just started little by little speaking to people and complimenting them leading to a conversation.    If Im out and someones talking about something that I know about/agree with, I'll jump in their conversation.  (I try and feel their vibe  before jumpin all in ppl convo all willy nilly though.
 
Paris said:

I feel like I do have something to offer but its hard to let that come out because I've always been the really quiet type. I didn't want to be too loud or too much you know.  I'd like to think that I'm friendly, honest, loyal, funny, intelligent etc. I have friends but not a lot because I find myself not wanting to do the same things that they want to do. I've started going back to church now so that I can get connected back to God again. I wasn't really fat but I've lost enough weight where I'm like a 33-26-39 I can actually see what my body could look like if I continue working out. Thats exactly what I thought before I moved here.

glamazon said:

:(

Girl, there's SOMETHING you have to offer. You not being popular, hanging out, and meeting people has little to nothing to do with whether you're actually really ugly or not, it's your self esteem and personality - how that comes off to people. What's your personality like? Do you have a personality? Do you have friends? Why not? Are you in at least decent shape? You're in a perfect position now really, because you can revamp yourself in your new city, make new friends and live the life you want to live.

lol...I've missed out on befriending some amazing people because of being like that. I actually got the opportunity to meet a football player here ( a while ago). He was talking to my friend and asked her for my number so he could try to hook me up with his team mate. I got the chance to go to his house and I met dude but because of my shyness it didn't go anywhere.  I'm friends on Facebook with the guy who tried to hook me up with his friend but i don't really speak to him. I might try that lol. Nice to know that being shy can be broken.

MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! said:

Im like this too.  Im a little more open than I use to be, but still not as outgoing as I would like . (i think if i was a little more outgoing, I would have my baller by now) I just started little by little speaking to people and complimenting them leading to a conversation.    If Im out and someones talking about something that I know about/agree with, I'll jump in their conversation.  (I try and feel their vibe  before jumpin all in ppl convo all willy nilly though.
 
Paris said:

I feel like I do have something to offer but its hard to let that come out because I've always been the really quiet type. I didn't want to be too loud or too much you know.  I'd like to think that I'm friendly, honest, loyal, funny, intelligent etc. I have friends but not a lot because I find myself not wanting to do the same things that they want to do. I've started going back to church now so that I can get connected back to God again. I wasn't really fat but I've lost enough weight where I'm like a 33-26-39 I can actually see what my body could look like if I continue working out. Thats exactly what I thought before I moved here.

glamazon said:

:(

Girl, there's SOMETHING you have to offer. You not being popular, hanging out, and meeting people has little to nothing to do with whether you're actually really ugly or not, it's your self esteem and personality - how that comes off to people. What's your personality like? Do you have a personality? Do you have friends? Why not? Are you in at least decent shape? You're in a perfect position now really, because you can revamp yourself in your new city, make new friends and live the life you want to live.

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