For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
I agree with both sides of this discussion. All children are different and they handle things differently it depends on how old they are and what coping skills, if any they have been taught thus far. They may not get over major events but the environment also plays a part in how the child deals with it. If all their friends are in single parent homes, or the child is use to being mostly with one parent or the parents are amicable, they have a support system, etc.. they will more than likely deal with it better. I have a Psyc degree and just recently use to work in social services and I see were the system in an attempt to protect the children give them way too much power and because they are only concerned with appeasing themselves and essentially spoiled by the system they ultimately start abusing this power and do more harm then good to themselves, i.e the foster parent won't let me talk to this boy on the phone after a certain time so I am going to call my worker and tell them she pushed me and automatically the child is removed to another home where they have the opportunity to talk to the boy at a later time because that foster parent may not care and is only in it for the money.
Now I have a 4 year old and you better believe I will whoop her if necessary, but that is an escalation I hope not to reach because I tell her repeatedly what is right and what is wrong and sometimes she knows what she is doing and will tell you "I was trying to be sneaky (she said this yesterday about going down the walkway and not staying on the porch) but all I could do is laugh because she was trying to be malicious about it, but when they reach that age where they are trying to be malicious about something then they need that a$$ whoop. I was whooped but a few times and realized I better behave, I never got in trouble even up to my college years, all it took was that one a$$ whooping in front of the classroom for stealing the 50 cent from the pretzel money to buy a lollipop cause my gmom won't give me the money. Most of us were whooped as a child and we are doing damn good it's the younger kids under this whole "popping the legs is child abuse" bullsh*t that are going around killing folks and we are giving them an excuse, they come from a single parent home, etc..
My feelings are if you don't know the whole situation, when it comes to parents and children, don't step in with your two cents unless you see that I am seriously injuring or endangering my child. You do not know what happened at home before I got in public so I may be on level 2 or 3 with my discipline by the time you see me in the store. You won't step in and correct my child if you saw him/her doing wrong and I wasn't around so don't try to speak up now. Stop being friends and start being parents.
Sorry so long :0)
smittysBBQsauce said:It's not just this post. I'm not saying you dont like kids maybe you just take the devils advocate approach to the subject. For ex. in this post you basically said her riding the kid in the front seat wasnt a big deal. Maybe in 1980 it wasnt a big deal but in 2010 it's a very big deal....airbags.
And maybe it wasnt you but (
Ithinkitwas) in another post someone said they didnt think having men come over and spend the night after the kids were sleep was a big deal. Kids wake up and men do too. Who's to say Mr. Overnight guest wont wonder off course when he gets up to use the bathroom.
I was an auntie long before I was a mother and regardless of what you do for your neices and nephews, even if they live with you.......it is not the same as having your own.
MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! said:I love kids, just started back working to finishing my degree in elementary education. have two nieces that Im very involved in their lives...the youngest just about lived with me when she was 2. Im not sure exactly what ur trying to say but i think ur saying that i think kids are not important. Im just confused @ how u can get that statement from what I said. and what views that i have in raising kids kill you? please answer this 1. I dont think i ever gave MY views on raising kids. Im not going back to get exact words..but where did i say kids cant be affected by a divorce, i said that they can basically get over it like all the other kids that grow up with bad shyt happening to them can get over it too.
smittysBBQsauce said:@ Ms Neva---I wish I could have these discussions with you in 15 yrs and after you've had a kid or two because your view on raising them kills me. It comes across like.......however anything affects them is irrelevent because they're not important, they're just kids not human beings./b>BR> I wish she had sued her for more but I guess Gabby really is broke.