Why Are Some Men Intimidated????
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So I met this guy a few months ago and I thought he was perfect. He was fly, sincere, handsome and I'm sure he knew he had a chick on some next iiissshhh. He wanted to see me everyday, would stop by job or meet me whenever I happen to be. It was cool between us for a minute but he began to emphasize how I was so young doing my thing (and I can say I have been blessed.) It's not everyday you meet in their earlier twenties (that isn't born into $ or a celebrity), pushing a nice whip, nice bank acct, owning a home and condo working hard, focused and can do for myself. He told me that if a dude wanted to step to me in any type of way his sh!t had to be right and they needed to know where they were at in life.
When he said this I didn't know exactly what he was trying to get at but shortly after all communication seized. I didn't look at him in anyway nor was I worried about material items or how much $ he had. I felt like it was too bad because I was really feeling him and would have put him on to a lot. I can't front and say I wasn't hurt because in a way I was.
My question is...have any of you ladies been through something like this? And why are men intimidated when a chick is doing slightly well?
When he said this I didn't know exactly what he was trying to get at but shortly after all communication seized. I didn't look at him in anyway nor was I worried about material items or how much $ he had. I felt like it was too bad because I was really feeling him and would have put him on to a lot. I can't front and say I wasn't hurt because in a way I was.
My question is...have any of you ladies been through something like this? And why are men intimidated when a chick is doing slightly well?
Tags: men, money, relationship, success
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by KJ on -
This hasn't happened to me in a relationship but it does in the club. I almost never get approached in the club from any quality men, the ones who approach me are always thirsty and desperate. By the end of the night if I'm talking to one of the quality ones, they will always say, I wanted to come talk to you but I was scared, or your beauty is intimidating. I'm like WTF!! Grow some balls step your game up! I think men are intimidated because they don't wanna be rejected.
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Permalink Reply by Ms. Kaylamomma on -
Maybe he felt that there wasn't anything he could bring to the table. You know I think some men need to feel like they are needed, you know. So if you have everything in line and in order he was probably figuring there wasn't anything left to share with you and he wouldn't be needed.
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Permalink Reply by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on -
He probably didnt have ANYTHING to bring to the table and figured he would need to in order to kick it with you. I say maybe a blessing in disguise- or maybe he went to jail.....and plus i hate when all the dudes u dont want to talk to try to talk to you and the other ones just look @ u- thats why now If i see something Im approaching him.
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Permalink Reply by livelife25 on -
first of all let me say props to you for having some very important aspects of your life together! i understand what happened in this case kinda sux, but there is someone out there more suited to you i'm sure. are you able to meet men that you are attracted to in your industry? they might be more evenly yoked to your plane.
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Permalink Reply by lady lynxx- ladylynxx.ning.com on -
Wow..this is deja vu. So many men have said that to me and suprise, surprise, not taken things further after that. I guess they get intimidated by success if they don't have much to bring to the table.
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Permalink Reply by Keytolife on -
Thanks for the insight ladies! Everything said makes sense but if dudes continue to think like this they could miss out of their dream girl. I mean not everything in life is about material assests sometimes a chick could be looking for love lol. Im thinking maybe he was accustom to chicken heads and chicks who only wanted to play the passenger seat.
@Ms. Ucan Neva Get Enuff- I extremely agree with you when you say this may be a blessing in disguise! He could have bought pure hell to my life. And I know he hasn't been locked up because I called him and he answered (already was developing stalkerish tendencies). And I respect you for being able to approach dudes. I just don't have the balls.
@livelife25- Thank you. I decided to make it work with my fiance and this may have been the best decision I ever made. But if I were looking now I don't think I could deal with someone in the same industry as me. I need it to be exciting and I don't want to be with someone who is coming to me home and have the same stories as me lol. He has to be doing something completely different.
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Permalink Reply by Lisa on -
Be thankful. He was probably all wrong for you. And if you do have your ish together find a man who has his together and can offer you more than you can have just being by yourself. Otherwise it's just not worth it. I learned this from experience.
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Permalink Reply by maxwells_musze on -
People are intimidated by my success (c) Sheree, Desperate Houswives!
HAHAHAHA! i miss them girls on thrus.
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Permalink Reply by Hotter on -
One of my friends people came to my house for a lil bbq I had. He had tried to holla at me for a good minute. Then when he left my house after the bbq, they were not gone 20 mins before my friend calls me. She said "he doesnt want to talk to you" I was like WTF??? "He said you dont need a man for anything". Not gonna lie, that ish hurt my feelings, then pissed me off. I guess cause Im not some hood rat with roaches and I'm not gonna beg his ass to do ish for me, he didnt want to talk to me.
What I have learned is that there are some men that want to feel superior to a woman. They claim they do not want a gold digger, however can not handle a woman that has her shit together either. They want that woman that they feel like they "made". Look at it like a blessing that he didnt stick around. he just wasnt the guy for you.
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Permalink Reply by Keytolife on
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Absolutely! I felt the same way "I guess cause Im not some hood rat with roaches and I'm not gonna beg his ass to do ish for me"Hotter said:One of my friends people came to my house for a lil bbq I had. He had tried to holla at me for a good minute. Then when he left my house after the bbq, they were not gone 20 mins before my friend calls me. She said "he doesnt want to talk to you" I was like WTF??? "He said you dont need a man for anything". Not gonna lie, that ish hurt my feelings, then pissed me off. I guess cause Im not some hood rat with roaches and I'm not gonna beg his ass to do ish for me, he didnt want to talk to me.
What I have learned is that there are some men that want to feel superior to a woman. They claim they do not want a gold digger, however can not handle a woman that has her shit together either. They want that woman that they feel like they "made". Look at it like a blessing that he didnt stick around. he just wasnt the guy for you.
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Permalink Reply by C*u*t*e* on -
That male EGO. In his mind he is suppose to have everything going right to take care of a womrn that so called 'needs' him finacially
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Permalink Reply by JustMe on -
its all about Ego, but there will be a man that knows that there is more to life than material possessions, and that there is something he has that he can offer you... that was a major problem in my marriage, my ex felt like I didn't need him for anything, and I didn't, but at one point I did WANT him. But his lil sorry ass attitude killed the want... there can only be one damsel in distress & since I have the p$$y, that bitch has got to be me.
The guy you met, is not ready for a woman that has her shit together. He needs to feel needed. What they usually don't understand is, what happens when the need is no longer there? usually kills the relationship, because the foundation on which it was built will then be nonexistant...
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