Would A Boarding School Be A Good Idea?

Rating: No Rating

Okay, i have a niece that's 13 yrs of age in the 8th grade. She gets out of school @ 2:15pm...and it only takes her about 10min to walk home. Her mother gets home about 6pm, but her little ass is no where to be found. She comes strolling in @ about 7:30 ish with nothing but lies as to where she's coming from. Her mother (my sister) told her when school is out, she needs to be in the house, and have her homework done, as well as her chores!

This behavior has been going on for a while off and on with her not complying to her mother's rules. So, she took her key away and told her that she better be @ the door waiting (for my sis)when she comes home. My sister told me that there were three magnums missing out of her sock draw, and replaced with three regular lifestyles (red pack) along with a pregnancy test that both belong to my sister. She has yet to bring this up to her daughter about the items that were missing. Oh, i'm not finished...my niece did not come home last night and didn't report to school today.

Now, i'm thinking that a nigga got into her head, and now she feels as if she can do as she pleases! I told my sister to get her ass checked out, and put on some birth control..asap and put her ass in someone's boarding school! BA, what other suggestions should i bring to my sister's attention?

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Bri83 on November 21, 2008 at 5:36pm: I think boarding school is a way to not only push her off on someone else, but its giving her the permission to pretty much be on her own, and do what ever she wants.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Ishtar on November 21, 2008 at 8:52pm: Girl, is hard raising children nowadays. I have a daughter and nieces. And trust, sometimes it doesn't matter how "smart" the are academically; a hard head makes a soft arse. And your niece is smelling herself big time, so is hard not to want to knock her butt out. ( disclaimer: I don't condone violence, but I understand shyt happens). Girl, keep praying for her. She'll come around.

Not everything works for everyone, but here are some suggestions I hope helps:

* Get her to a gyn doctor for a check-up ASAP. Put her on Depo shots, no pills. A child that young who is not following mom's rules, will NOT follow BC pills instructions.
* As for as the boarding school, I have mixed feelings about it. Some boarding schools are not all they are cracked up to be, you know. If your sister goes that route, it would help if she is very stringent with her selection. She doesn't want to get her child back worst than she was....you know what I mean. Because, unfortunately, a lot of these schools have the prison effect on some kids - you know the petty thief goes to prison and comes slanging and killing. The end result is that he/she becomes a more harden criminal than before. Same with boarding schools, catholic schools etc. So she have to be selective and very very involved...
* If boarding school is not in the immediate future, definitely consider various after school activities or volunteer work for your niece (like other posters suggested). Anything from dance (jazz, balle, tap, hiphop, etc), martial arts, gymnastic, piano, sports, all sorst of after school activities (track, volley ball, basketball, dance team). Keep her busy and purposeful. Maybe someone in the family can pick her up and drop her off, if you sister is unable. The kid needs attention (and a good ass whippin for good measures). Your sis may not agree but truth is the days of coming home and doing chores are so long gone, there is way too much other shyt kids are getting into when adults are not around, so they have to be superviced at all times. I told my daughter she will TRY everything at least ONCE, I had her dancing at 2 and running track by the age of 5. She hates track, but guess what, she will do it again next season because I'm not convinced she gave her all. LOL. I don't give a shyt what she say.

Over the summer, my daughter wanted to stay home alone because she felt that at the age of 10yrs old, she was "too old for summer camp". I laughed at her, and said whatever! I had her get up and get dressed every morning with me SIT at work in my office (looking crazy) until summer camp started at 10:30 am. LOL. She eventually, looked forward to it every day, notwithstanding, this child has always attended summer camp but all of a sudden she is too old for it...they'll try you.

Good luck to you and yours chica.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Redd on November 21, 2008 at 9:46pm: Show her the 'rotten cooch' pic from mto...

J/p....

But these are harsh ass methods after the sex talks and birth control...here are some things I've witnessed from family do to their fast daughters...and they WORK!

The law says a parent is supposed to provide a home, cloths and food. THAT'S IT. Until she gets her act together, all things extra and considered entertainment should be cut out until she starts showing an effort. No cell phone, no cable, no Internet, no dances, no music, no nothing. If the act has nothing to do with school then she shouldn't be able to do it.

After homework and chores, get a King James Bible, a pencil and a stack of wide width line paper (wide width so it will take longer), sit her in the kitchen table and make her hand write each word of that Bible (preferably a scripture about hos) each day with a deadline on what to finish before mom gets home. (My little cousin had anger issues and her mother made him do this with Bible passages on anger ALL SUMMER...she's been better since. My aunt framed those pages and they hang in my cousins bedroom to remind her of what will happen if she steps out of line)

If she's acting stank like this, she's basically taking the simple things she has for granted...so take those simple things away.

If you want to go the embarrassment rout on top of everything else, clean out everything in her closet. Take all of her clothing down to the fancy draws and panties, shoes, make- up...take everything and put them away. Strip her bedroom of anything personal. No posters,no tv, no radio, ipod or anything. She should only have four plane white walls and a bed.

Replace all of her clothing with a few sets of cloths from the Good Will and plane grandma draws and bras from walmart (im serious). Replace her bed set with things from the Good Will...find a tattered blanker that will keep her warm at night. That's all she needs

Clean out her bathroom of all body lotions, liquid soaps, luffas, oils, jewelry, make up and everything. Replace them with one bar of regular soap, a wash cloth, a towel, deodorant, tooth bush and tooth paste, and coco butter lotion in bulk from the dollar store (still very serious).
Take her backpack and replace it with the dingiest ugliest bag you can find.

The smaller the selection of clothing she has, the more miserable she will be. I'm talking two pair of pants, three shirts, two pair of socks and one pair of shoes. A plane coat also from the goodwill. Have her looking homely ass hell. Let her recycle those items at school for a few MONTHS (extremely serious) and see how her attitude changes.

I've seen these methods in action and bitches turn around real quick...some take a month to break down...but do it for three months to remind them who runs shit and EVERYTHING they have is a luxury. Strip them of those things and provide them with the bare minimum necessities that the law says you have to do.

As for food goes. Your sister can eat how she pleases, but that fast girl gets generics...she can eat that or starve. By generic I don't mean Fruity O's...I mean cornbread, pinto beans and rice.

On week three, my cousin had the vagina flaps to call the cops. The cops looked around and told her mom isn't doing anything illegal so there was nothing they could do.

If she isn't gona show her mom the respect and effort to do what she's supposed to do, then her mom dosnt have put in the effort to do anything extra...like I said, its harsh as fuck, but it works and its not illegal...I haven't read one law that reads your child needs to be entertained. If she wants entertainment, give her a novel so she can learn to use her mind!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Redd on November 21, 2008 at 9:51pm: Oh I forgot, she should retire to her room no later than 8pm and lights out at 9pm. She is to be up at 5am, shower, get dressed, and writing bible passages until she has to go to school....and it starts alll over again the next day. No new cloths, no new anything until she gets it together

Mannn, after three months of that shit, lil tiffany is damn near an angel; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on November 21, 2008 at 10:47pm: DAMN, now that ish will work. I copied and pasted that and e-mailed it to myself. Please believe I will be using that one when I have a damn teenager out of control.

Redd said:
Oh I forgot, she should retire to her room no later than 8pm and lights out at 9pm. She is to be up at 5am, shower, get dressed, and writing bible passages until she has to go to school....and it starts alll over again the next day. No new cloths, no new anything until she gets it together

Mannn, after three months of that shit, lil tiffany is damn near an angel; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by a_BilLi on November 22, 2008 at 12:02am: Wow....this lil girl is OOC. First and foremost pray that she brings her lil ass home safely, and I will too. Im gonna have to disagree with most of the posters on here bc she can make your sisters life a living hell if she decides to tough love her or Bible her. That shit don't work. I moved out at 16 and have been good to go ever since. The shit was hard but it got done. Since she is younger it is definitely a good idea to educate her as hard as possible and it's best to get someone other than mom to talk to her about sex, the streets, etc. Someone she looks up to but can also relate to. Then I would say the doing the bare minimum suggestion should work. But you cannot try to cuff her too much. That is only going to make her rebel. I wouldn't even punish her when she gets home just act like shit is normal and start taking material things away. Lil bitches are spoiled these days!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Redd on November 22, 2008 at 2:49pm: So the girl isn't making her moms life hell now?
A child will only do what they can get away with...and right now she's getting away with it...

If her sister makes niece write scriptures, its not to enlighten her with the Word and hope she catches the ghost...or "Bible her" as you put it. If she learns from writing passages then she learns something on her own.(No disrespect to the Lords word)

Writing passages is to bore the living hell out of her fast ass by eliminating any and everything her nice considers fun and make her miss everything she takes for granted. Total isolation from friends, boys, electronics. Just her, the bible and her mind.

Lets say she won't do it, then mom is supposed to make sure she sits her ass down at that table and not move until she gets it done...she can sit down and twiddle her thumbs...it wont matter...I see it as, a time out for teens

After writing scriptures, if she wants entertainment, give her a novel and let her stimulate her BRAIN...and not just any ol' novel (no Omar Tyree...I loved his books as a teen!). Make sure its required reading for her age level. Give her I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, Tom Sawyer, Moby Dick...

Imo, I do think she should do the sweep (clean out room, bathroom and Good Will cloths) all at once. As of right now, the girl thinks the things she does has no punishment...do the sweep all at once and she'll know change has come and her mother is fed up.

Let her wear the same ol Good Will cloths to school for a few months...damn could you fathom doing that at high school? The cliques she hangs with whom may be influencing her behavior will be embarrassed to be seen around her, (boys will be boys...they may get with her on the low but may not claim her in public)... stop taking her to the hair salon...oh damn, Tiffany was lookin like who the hell shot john!

I remember when the shit hit the fan too! My dad and I where waiting with Aunt Olivia because she was about to call the cops again. Then Tiff came strolling in the house 4 hours past curfew like she was grown...Aunt O told her to pack ALL of her things because she was going shopping the next day for a whole new wardrobe for her and she needed to make room for her "new" things...she had the boxes and bags ready and waiting for her! Lmao! Tiff was all excited and helped her pack...

The next day when Tiff was at school, Aunt O had all of her belongings and drove them to the Good Will and DONATED them and bought her...lmao "two pair of pants, three shirts, one pair of Good Will shoes, panties and bras from walmart" she had them ready and waiting in her closet...all of her toiletries (liquid soaps, victories secret lotions, body oils and goodies...lol, she event took the curling irons and hot combs) where put away and all she had was " one regular bar of soap, a wash cloth, a towel ect "

So if her sister is going to use this method then she needs to enforce it and show the little girl she means business and who's the boss...of course she will rebel and try to throw her little authority around at first...but who is the parent and who is the child? Who needs to respect and be afraid of who? If her sister is scared of her niece giving her mother hell, then ship her ass to military school and call it a day...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by lady lynxx- ladylynxx.ning.com on November 22, 2008 at 4:32pm: Redd....that is a good way to keep the kids in check!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Honeycoated on November 22, 2008 at 6:04pm: Show her some Alexyss K. Tylor videos! She is obviously having sex and some boy(possibly a grown man)has gotten into her head. Kicking her out may get her completly turned out. Some pimp may get ahold of her and if her decision making skills aren't that great, she'll be in somebodys porn tape gagging on some mans dick!
She needs to be schooled on how life really is and how scandalous people can be. At 16, she probably thinks life is like a music video.
I agree with maybe sending her to a relative's place cuz sometimes kids will open up to their aunt before their mom. Your sis may have to chaperone her eveywhere or find someone who can. Maybe she should sit and have a "knee to knee" convo and let her know that she can tell her anything and she won't get in trouble or be judged.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by LioNeSs on November 22, 2008 at 9:37pm: 13 yrs old???????? i was scrared to even kiss a boy at that age, although people think boarding schools are punishment it really isint. they teach you way more than public & private schools altogether, and u get into better universities. but your niece needs to get knocked the F out for what she's doing; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by L0vie D0vie on November 22, 2008 at 11:49pm: This is something that I went through with my 16yr old neice. Now she is 5 months pregnant. Me and my sisters (1 being her m0ther) did all of the things the other ladies suggested... it didn't w0rk. This is a young lady that has been in "gifted" programs since elementary school. The same girl who can gt a scholarship to jus about any school in the country, bcuz of her math and science scores, but she chose a diffrent path.

Its hard 4 me to see young black girls go through these types of things. My sister put t00 much responsibility on her from an early age. So she went and found attention somewhere else... the end result im going to be a "Great Aunt" in my early 30's.

You guys need to look deeper into the situation and find out what's really going on with her. Boarding school will probably make the situation worse.; ▶ Reply to This