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Permalink Reply by Dragon Slayer Puss on June 28, 2012 at 7:12pm

I really don't see much potential in him. Sure he's nice and all, but honestly what else could he be when he lives in her house? The fact that he lives with her (unofficially) and has been 'in and out' of school, paired with the fact that his credit is jacked, points at an irresponsible man IMO. Her desire to help him is also a red flag to me. I could see if she was saying this about a 26 year old, but at 32, he should have his head in the game by now. And honestly, there is no way a person can help another through school, maybe offer positive encouragement, but there has to be a high level of self-motivation to make it through the rigors of obtaining a degree. Personally, I would advise her to take it slow with him and support him emotionally. I think she should also be open to possibly meeting a younger like-minded man. She seems too eager to make accomodations for someone who should not need this sort of thing and she is too young and 'well on her way' to slow down for him. Just imagine if she got pregnant today....where would his 'potential' take them immediately??

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Permalink Reply by Dragon Slayer Puss on June 28, 2012 at 7:14pm

And hell naw I wouldn't marry a man off 'potential.' He has to have demonstrated success for my hand. Dating is a 'fact finding mission' for me, so he could get a couple of dates off potential, but the marriage thing whould mean that his potential has materialized into something substantial.

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Permalink Reply by DdoubleD on June 28, 2012 at 9:26pm

What is the harm in waiting to get married.  I have been with my bf for over 2 years now and everyone is trying to pressue me to get married.  He is getting ready to graduate and December and has already started his career, but he needs to get his students loans handled and become a provider before we tie the knot!

 

With that said, I think he does has potential but wait for him to prove it before getting married.  They need to set goals and accomplish somethings, because love don't pay the bills.  The #1 reason for divorce is money.  Let that man get his credit in order, save some money, and complete school.  Then get married! 

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Permalink Reply by Tone © on June 28, 2012 at 9:36pm

Why associate marrirge with a persons Abilty to earn money? Who cares if she makes more money then him at the end of your life money does not mean s***.

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Permalink Reply by Lady on June 28, 2012 at 9:39pm

If all he needs is a push she needs to. Do that, they need to support each other

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Permalink Reply by University of Smitty on June 28, 2012 at 9:49pm

I disagree.  At the end of your life, money will determine whether you're buried, cremated, or donated to science.
 
Tone said:

Why associate marrirge with a persons Abilty to earn money? Who cares if she makes more money then him at the end of your life money does not mean s***.

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Permalink Reply by Tone © on June 28, 2012 at 9:53pm

true.
University of Smitty said:

I disagree.  At the end of your life, money will determine whether you're buried, cremated, or donated to science.
 
Tone said:

Why associate marrirge with a persons Abilty to earn money? Who cares if she makes more money then him at the end of your life money does not mean s***.

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Permalink Reply by DdoubleD on June 28, 2012 at 10:38pm

I don't think it's just about money.  Shouldn't a person want to be successful and hard working.  If you have a hard working and educated partner wouldn't you want to do the same thing? 

Tone said:

Why associate marrirge with a persons Abilty to earn money? Who cares if she makes more money then him at the end of your life money does not mean s***.

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Permalink Reply by BallerMom on June 29, 2012 at 12:44am

Thanks for the comments. You all make valid points. I think I'm going to advise her to wait and take it slow. Let him prove himself some more, but she can still support/help him. He's made comments before about how he doesn't want to be with someone who can't accept him for who is. Apparently, his ex was really riding him about school and her parents thought he was beneath her. He broke it off with her because he felt like she would never be satisfied. I think my niece needs to be honest with her feelings and let him know what her expectations are. I believe some men do need the right woman to help them reach their full potential, but they have to be ready to put forth the effort. Lord knows i had to upgrade my husband (in some areas) and he had to upgrade me too.

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Permalink Reply by Student Beauty on June 29, 2012 at 8:28am

She should wait until he is a P.A. There is no reason why he is that old and his credit is still jacked up. if he can't provide a home for himself then what would make her think that once they marry he would step is game up then? He just might regress! MOve on and move up!!

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Permalink Reply by Student Beauty on June 29, 2012 at 8:36am

IN my opinion.. your niece needs to move on. He is at the age where he should be damn near the height of his career. It make no sense why he is not almost done working on his credit or almost done with his schooling. I agree some men might need some one to assist them but look at the age difference!!! There is no reason why his money is not long!! He has no kids, no chld support, all he could have BEEN doing is going to school and working...

BallerMom said:

Thanks for the comments. You all make valid points. I think I'm going to advise her to wait and take it slow. Let him prove himself some more, but she can still support/help him. He's made comments before about how he doesn't want to be with someone who can't accept him for who is. Apparently, his ex was really riding him about school and her parents thought he was beneath her. He broke it off with her because he felt like she would never be satisfied. I think my niece needs to be honest with her feelings and let him know what her expectations are. I believe some men do need the right woman to help them reach their full potential, but they have to be ready to put forth the effort. Lord knows i had to upgrade my husband (in some areas) and he had to upgrade me too.

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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on June 29, 2012 at 10:14am

I agree. That is sound advice.

BallerMom said:

Thanks for the comments. You all make valid points. I think I'm going to advise her to wait and take it slow. Let him prove himself some more, but she can still support/help him. He's made comments before about how he doesn't want to be with someone who can't accept him for who is. Apparently, his ex was really riding him about school and her parents thought he was beneath her. He broke it off with her because he felt like she would never be satisfied. I think my niece needs to be honest with her feelings and let him know what her expectations are. I believe some men do need the right woman to help them reach their full potential, but they have to be ready to put forth the effort. Lord knows i had to upgrade my husband (in some areas) and he had to upgrade me too.

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