Your Baller Lost His Game .........

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Permalink Reply by livelife25 on November 2, 2009 at 12:26pm

he had to do SOMETHING good during the game, so make sure to compliment him on that, whether it was a block, a great pass, or whatever (not sure what sport your dude plays). make sure you know the schedule and you know the next opposing team they will face and say something about their weakness, like "Well next game is against xyz, and you know their blah blah blah is a lil shaky. You guys are better at that." not sure how into the sport overall you are, in terms of knowing teams and what they're good at/suck at, but let online sports columns be your friend.

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Permalink Reply by Sheli on November 2, 2009 at 12:44pm

In the words of Kim K..."I'm thinking Fried Chicken in a G-string & a bra and some high heels..." LOL, I kid, I kid... (it just fit there).......

Tell him that he and the team need to man the phuck up and stop acting like a bunch of coochies, they better get out there and earn those damn checks or they'll all be riding the bench next season!!! Just point out what he did that amazed you, tell him something about next game they'll do better.

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Permalink Reply by Charlie/Daddy's Girl on November 2, 2009 at 12:55pm

DEAD!!!!!!! @ SHELI

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Permalink Reply by Cougar $pice on November 2, 2009 at 1:52pm

hehehe

Charlie/Daddy's Girl said:

DEAD!!!!!!! @ SHELI

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Permalink Reply by L0vie D0vie on November 2, 2009 at 2:16pm

Lmao! O like the crossed out approach! :0)

Sheli said:

In the words of Kim K..."I'm thinking Fried Chicken in a G-string & a bra and some high heels..." LOL, I kid, I kid... (it just fit there)....... Tell him that he and the team need to man the phuck up and stop acting like a bunch of coochies, they better get out there and earn those damn checks or they'll all be riding the bench next season!!! Just point out what he did that amazed you, tell him something about next game they'll do better.

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Permalink Reply by Ashley Banks on November 2, 2009 at 2:24pm

You know, this applies to all women, those dating ballers, accountants, data entry clerks, etc. When a man is working on something and loses, it's best to just cook a meal (or in my case, buy something good that you can reheat), be quiet and let him seethe for a hot minute. Just let him know you support him and saw how much effort he put out there. He knows he can't win everything, but all he needs in that moment is some positivity and love and support. A friend of mine is struggling to pass his CPA exams while raising his two kids and working on a MBA. His girlfriend is winning MAJOR brownie points by not harping on it, telling him what she would have done, putting down the opposition (in this case, the cerification people). Putting down the other team just makes him wonder "If they are so bad, why did they beat me, am I worse?"

I have a few preacher's wives in my family, and they are constantly being shot down on their new ideas, initiatives, etc. They do the same thing, I've had uncles driving back from conventions where their denomination doesn't like some idea they've been working on for months, the women just talk to them on the phone and make sure home is right when they get back.

It's tough watching a man lose, but women have to stay strong and stay mum. Unless he asks for your opinion, I wouldn't bring it up after consoling him. And do not take sides, but let him know you're on his side. Just, "oh baby", "sweety", shoulder rubs while he talks, holding his hand in support. Speaking can make things like this worse because he already feels the world is kicking him while he's down, and anything you say can be the wrong thing. He may not immediately thank you for lifting his spirits, but men always remember moments like this.

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Permalink Reply by Siren on November 2, 2009 at 2:27pm

This is very true and may i also add that you should encourage him not only when he loses... Positive reenforcement goes a long way.

Ashley Banks said:

You know, this applies to all women, those dating ballers, accountants, data entry clerks, etc. When a man is working on something and loses, it's best to just cook a meal (or in my case, buy something good that you can reheat), be quiet and let him seethe for a hot minute. Just let him know you support him and saw how much effort he put out there. He knows he can't win everything, but all he needs in that moment is some positivity and love and support. A friend of mine is struggling to pass his CPA exams while raising his two kids and working on a MBA. His girlfriend is winning MAJOR brownie points by not harping on it, telling him what she would have done, putting down the opposition (in this case, the cerification people). Putting down the other team just makes him wonder "If they are so bad, why did they beat me, am I worse?"

I have a few preacher's wives in my family, and they are constantly being shot down on their new ideas, initiatives, etc. They do the same thing, I've had uncles driving back from conventions where their denomination doesn't like some idea they've been working on for months, the women just talk to them on the phone and make sure home is right when they get back.

It's tough watching a man lose, but women have to stay strong and stay mum. Unless he asks for your opinion, I wouldn't bring it up after consoling him. And do not take sides, but let him know you're on his side. Just, "oh baby", "sweety", shoulder rubs while he talks, holding his hand in support. Speaking can make things like this worse because he already feels the world is kicking him while he's down, and anything you say can be the wrong thing. He may not immediately thank you for lifting his spirits, but men always remember moments like this.

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Permalink Reply by Sheli on November 2, 2009 at 2:32pm

Ok, I vote for these answers, over mine LOL
Siren said:

This is very true and may i also add that you should encourage him not only when he loses... Posotive reenforcement goes a long way.

Ashley Banks said:

You know, this applies to all women, those dating ballers, accountants, data entry clerks, etc. When a man is working on something and loses, it's best to just cook a meal (or in my case, buy something good that you can reheat), be quiet and let him seethe for a hot minute. Just let him know you support him and saw how much effort he put out there. He knows he can't win everything, but all he needs in that moment is some positivity and love and support. A friend of mine is struggling to pass his CPA exams while raising his two kids and working on a MBA. His girlfriend is winning MAJOR brownie points by not harping on it, telling him what she would have done, putting down the opposition (in this case, the cerification people). Putting down the other team just makes him wonder "If they are so bad, why did they beat me, am I worse?"

I have a few preacher's wives in my family, and they are constantly being shot down on their new ideas, initiatives, etc. They do the same thing, I've had uncles driving back from conventions where their denomination doesn't like some idea they've been working on for months, the women just talk to them on the phone and make sure home is right when they get back.

It's tough watching a man lose, but women have to stay strong and stay mum. Unless he asks for your opinion, I wouldn't bring it up after consoling him. And do not take sides, but let him know you're on his side. Just, "oh baby", "sweety", shoulder rubs while he talks, holding his hand in support. Speaking can make things like this worse because he already feels the world is kicking him while he's down, and anything you say can be the wrong thing. He may not immediately thank you for lifting his spirits, but men always remember moments like this.

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Permalink Reply by Ashley Banks on November 2, 2009 at 2:34pm

@Siren-
You are right about positive reinforcement. I believe a lot of people (including myself) forget that we all need to be encouraged, not just when times are hard.

Oh, and I left out, pop those legs open. If you two are intimate and he's accustomed to your touch, now is not the time to turn him down. If you two aren't intimate yet, don't jeopardize your relationship with a coochie band aid, just be there for him and love him as best you can. If you two have been physical for some time, don't initiate sex, but do keep contact with him by just touching his shoulder, hugging him when he comes and goes, etc. Men are physical, they love this stuff. If he pulls away, it's not you, he's just not feeling himself and needs a little space. At night time when he reaches for you, unless you're performing open heart surgery on the space station, do not turn him down.

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Permalink Reply by The-Upgrade : Baller wit a cause on November 2, 2009 at 2:35pm

Thanks Girls ...... So what about when Im not around like if he's on the road & I cant make him feel good by cooking or rubbing him down ...??

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Permalink Reply by Ashley Banks on November 2, 2009 at 2:43pm

I'm sorry to keep replying to this so much, I'm going through this now with someone that's just a friend and deployed.

Talk to him when he calls unless you're doing something really important. It's hard to ignore his calls, but he understands that you have a life when he's away. When you are talking to him, pay attention to him, turn off the TV, put away the magazine, work, book, and focus on him. Again, I wouldn't say much, even if you feel stupid holding the phone and listening to him breathe. Now if it gets excessive (like a 10 minute silence), then you may want to ease your way off the phone. If you live together, straighten that house up! Do not let him come home to chaos. If you don't live together, be prepared to end up at his place when he gets back, or make your home his escape when he comes over.

The-Upgrade : Baller wit a cause said:

Thanks Girls ...... So what about when Im not around like if he's on the road & I cant make him feel good by cooking or rubbing him down ...??

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Permalink Reply by Siren on November 2, 2009 at 2:44pm

Send texts ecards, something in the mail...what is his favorite treat...my dude likes chocolatewhen he was traveling for work and was having some hard days I sent him some "fairytale brownies" he was surprised and it brightened his day. If you need ideas of places that deliver good treats let me know.

The-Upgrade : Baller wit a cause said:

Thanks Girls ...... So what about when Im not around like if he's on the road & I cant make him feel good by cooking or rubbing him down ...??

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