For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
A recent interview prompted me to write this. It seems that as women, we can't quite figure out why men would want to wife a stripper If you look at it from a man's point of view, it's actually quite simple actually.
Let's assume he meets her at her job, the strip club. From the moment he sees her she is completely exposed to him. She has absolutely nothing to hide behind. Us 9 to 5 women have a lot that we use as a cover up, starting with simply our clothes. By default, in his mind, she exudes more confidence. She's uninhibited. Whether she is truly more confident than you? He doesn't know and he doesn't take any time to find out. By default, for her to get on that stage every night, she's got gusto.
Then you have the man who wants to save every woman from herself. I call this kind of man Drake. They become fascinated by strippers because they believe every stripper has a story. They believe every stripper has some kind of daddy issue that has them looking for love in all the wrong places. They assume. They forget that there are many struggling women out in the world and just because a woman chooses to dance doesn't mean that she is one of them. When a stripper, like any other woman, gets wind of this type of man she will instantly turn on her struggle. Its not hard to fabricate your life into a Tyler Perry movie for a man who's willing to spend a ton of money on you. It's even easier for you to let him think he rescued you from the pole as long as he keeps the checks coming in.
Last but not least, from the beginning he knows what her intentions are -- money. Some men just need someone to talk to, someone to rescue them from their crazy home life, so they pay a half-naked stranger to provide them a little extra attention. They are well aware of the hustle and yet they keep going back for more. Deep in the back of their minds they hope that all the love you're showing them is genuine so they keep coming back for more. He knows from the get go that she is about her money and in a weird way, he respects that.
If you're a regular 9 to 5 woman like myself and wonder why your man spends so much time away, try becoming his stripper. Try exuding confidence. Be uninhibited. Act like you need him to be your hero and give him the stage show of a lifetime. After you put it on him one good time, I'm sure he won't have a reason to go anywhere else ever again.
Comment by Ms. Ashley Banks on February 6, 2012 at 5:06pm I was tired of having to play games constantly. And as one guy let me know, I'm not as cute as I think I am and he could do better. That really got into my head, and some more stuff, so I just decided to find someone to settle down with.
Comment by Baller Alert on February 6, 2012 at 5:42pm @ashley you let a man get you off your game like that? Was he a pimp? A lot of men get a pleasure of breaking a woman down to the point where they start second guessing themselves. I hate that...
Comment by Ms. Ashley Banks on February 6, 2012 at 6:03pm No, he wasn't a pimp, and the sad part is that he was a guy I really, really wanted to be with. There was lot leading up to that decision, and that incident was the icing on the cake.
My boyfriend now is very religious, used to have a very wild streak, and I kind of feel like I'm his last chance at being wild. He thinks I'm reformed like him, so he enjoys having me around because of what we could do if we're married. I've talked to wild women who married men that loved them because of their wild ways, and I do worry it sometimes won't work out. He loves to do for me, is more than willing to be the breadwinner so I can stay at home, but it's like he wants to expel the demons from me and forget my past, yet he still wants the acrobatics in bed. I don't get men.
Comment by PlaneJaneLane on February 6, 2012 at 9:12pm Curious Ashley, is he black or white?
@ashley who does? lol but yu seem like yu could give some good advice on the game for all the young ladies out here that arent looking for love ( like myself) but just looking to have fun. if yu could put some of your strategies and tips in a blog i would greatly appreciate it . cause it seems like yu were such a riot before yu went "straight"
Comment by WHATDAHELL on February 7, 2012 at 8:56am a stripper is a fantasy. some guys fall in love with that fantasy and want to marry it. simple as that. lets not glorify the pole.
Comment by goldfinger on February 7, 2012 at 10:40am I like strippers. They are great for my ego. What they do that my woman does not is stay in shape (must be all that p-poppin on a handstand), compliment me (who wants to be taken for granted), and only require a little $$$ to be satisfied. IF I add in some charm, or show any type of interest *cough*get hard*cough*, they usually open up. If I get the 'i want to be saved' vibe...it's on to the next one. Good times this past weekend in INDY. It's crazy the number of new dancers that came into town for the game. Some were nice...others...meh. Still, I tried my best to show the cute ones some love...*throws ones in the air*
Comment by Mochacashmere on February 7, 2012 at 12:09pm @Ms. Ashley Banks, how were you open about your desires? What does that mean? Please out a sista on cause I'm trying to have the menses chasing me.
Comment by Ms. Ashley Banks on February 7, 2012 at 12:22pm Ladies, I cannot give love advice just yet. Catch me in about 15 or 20 years. The best advice I can give you is focus on you, don't let men or money get in the way of anything. I used to drop everything for a man just because I thought it would get me bigger better things, and looking back, I sacrificed finishing college on time, better jobs, long term stable relationships.
Go to school, don't let a man get in the way of that. You'll notice that the more you have going for yourself, the more a man is willing to do to get your attention. Man wants you to move to his city: don't. Stay on your campus, do your thing, and don't schedule your social life around his. You have a step show to attend on Friday, but he wants you to come up to his city for the big game, stay and do you. You're better off finding love on campus, and visiting that guy at spring break or on long weekends. They'll spend more if they see you less because they'd rather take you shopping 4 or 5 times a year than every week/month.
And as for being open about my desires, my guy is a freak, and I was celibate when we started dating. We had a conversation that went too far, and then we just got honest and talked about sex. You can't just tell a man what you desire in bed, you have to also be honest about what you desire in life. Let him know there's more to you than parlor tricks.
And that's it from Ashley.
Comment by BabyGirlWiz on September 24, 2012 at 8:41pm DRUGS AND BOOZE=GUSTO.
TRYING TOO HARD TO BE WIFED UP= DESPErate
Ignoring the inadequacies of the man who feels the dying need to be "HeRo"= LAME
Defining your Womanhood by a woman who defined hers based on desperate actions to resolve her (TYPICALLY) desperate financial issues= A "No."
LIVING YOUR Life like STRIPPERS have it MAde= Another No.
:D ijs----
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