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Making The First Move: Is It The Man's Job?
Let's say you meet a guy that you are really into and you exchange numbers. You guys start talking, but it seems like things are moving ultra slow. You want to see if he likes you the way you like him, maybe even enjoy a first date. Do you wait for him to make the first move or do you put your pride aside and go for it?
It's natural for women to let the men make all the decisions. It's how we were programmed. The problem however, men move at the pace of 56K Dial-Up. At least from my experience, they will know instantly that they like you, but won't say anything. It doesn't help that they are incredibly hard to read. We as women however know what we want almost immediately, sometimes to a fault. Sometimes a mixture of other emotions and past relationships cause us to make rash decisions that could end up driving him away.
Many women believe that the woman is supposed to be hunted and that it is more lady like this way. They feel that coming on too strong can scare a man away, especially if he's not exactly ready for commitment and was only intent on "having fun". Rushing the relationship is never a good idea. Other women feel that the thrill of the chase died decades ago and it's a new day. They feel that waiting too long can give off the wrong message. He may think you're not interested and end up walking away. Modern women want to take what's theres.
Ultimately it all boils down to communication, no matter which of these women you are. There's no right or wrong answer. For those of you who've been both of these women, which approach was more successful for you. Do you find that you get the guy when you go after him or does he appreciate it more when you let him do all the driving?
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Comment by blackfujones on April 6, 2012 at 4:48pm -
-id luv 2 hear this feedback.....
in other news..hey i wasnt the only 1 thinkin it
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Comment by Ms. BoiBye on April 6, 2012 at 5:19pm -
I have learned that my man picker is slightly off. When i go after men, I tend to have to be the one that leads the relationship. so from the start I feel like I am chasing him. Which is not cool becasue we both get bored. I like to be chased and hunted not the other way around. So I am going fall back and let him lead. It is fun and less work on me.
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Comment by Tracy on April 8, 2012 at 11:17am -
It depends on how we meet, but I definitely let them THINK they're leading...lol
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Comment by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on April 8, 2012 at 12:10pm -
I do it both ways. If I look at him and he's watching a few times, I will go over and speak and say something and sometimes I'll wait for them to make a move. Im not scared to make the first move first.
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Comment by Ms. KissyFace on April 11, 2012 at 2:59pm -
I am too alpha to go after men. I would end up with wimpy milquetoast. I need a guy that has a pair and chasing him is a no no. I will drop hints and flirt like a mutha. If he doesn't get it he's stupid/lazy/wimpy or not interested.
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