The Engagement Is Off So Who Keeps The Ring?

I was inspired by Ruben Studdard's divorce and it lead me to thinking about how many failed marriages/engagements there are. One of the first things fought over is property, more specifically the ring. Who gets to keep it? Is it considered a gift?

 

If you ever get to sit around and watch court shows during the day, especially divorce court, women use the gift excuse very often. This leads me into my next question: Why do we consider engagement rings as a gift? Personally, I feel that engagement rings are a promise or intent to engage in marriage. I feel that if it is the woman's decision or fault that the engagement is called off she should have to give the ring back. I look at the ring like a contractual agreement. If you break the contract, you pay up. It's not a gift because gifts are optional. If a guy proposed to you and didn't give you a ring, the likelihood of you accepting his engagement is slim to none. Rings during engagements are not optional.

  

Now the same formula goes for men. You lose the right to get the ring returned if you were the cause of the engagement falling apart. If you decide you don't want to be with her anymore, she keeps the ring. That was your decision, not hers. If you were all over town sowing your wild oats, guess what, ring is hers. She didn't do anything wrong so don't debate her, let her keep the ring and do with it what she sees fit. That includes selling it for a few comfort items like bags, shoes and if she's lucky a car.

  

Obviously there are sticky situations in which the engagement is mutually called off but that's when you look at the bigger picture. The bigger picture being, what do you really NEED the ring for and is it worth the headache you'll have to go through to fight for it? If it's worth it, go for it, but the best thing is to leave the relationship with your dignity. This goes for  men and women.

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Comment by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on April 9, 2012 at 9:24am

I'll sell the ring b4 they ask for it back lol

Comment by PlaneJaneLane on April 9, 2012 at 10:03am

If its a family heirloom then I will probably return it...HOWEVER, if they bought it to give to me..its MINE MINE MINE!!! lol

Comment by Sheli on April 9, 2012 at 4:22pm

I'm in agreement w/ the post, if I called off the engagement I'll give the ring back, if he called it off I get to keep it or pain and suffering.

Comment by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on April 9, 2012 at 7:38pm

If I called if off because it just "wasnt going to work", I'll give it back, if it was because some BS that he did, he isn't getting it back.

Comment by glamazon on April 10, 2012 at 5:02pm

Agreed.

The thing with keeping it is no other man will tolerate you having, let alone wearing that obvious ass engagement ring. It's useless to keep, plus I'd obviously have other pieces of jewelry from him at that point. So I'll sell it, or offer  to trade him for another parting gift.

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