Think Like A Man: Should You Make A Man Wait 90 Days For Sex?

'Think Like A Man' has proven itself to be a Box Office hit raking in $33Million in its opening week. The movie is based on Steve Harvey's book "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man". In the movie they touch on the infamous 90 Day Rule. This rule has been around long before Steve Harvey's book. The 90 Day Rule basically says that a woman should make a man wait 90 days before having sex. Does this work? Are the "games" really proving anything? I asked my Twitter followers and actually got a pretty good mix of responses. 



Ladies, would you make a man wait 90 days for sex?

- yeah cause I may not even like u after 20 days

- I would...I did...waaaay longer than 90 days. We are married now. We were each other's 1st. Met at 17.

- at this point in my life knowing what I know- YES!

- No! That would mean I would have to wait!



Fellas, would you wait 90 days for sex?

- people have waiting much longer you know? you mean do we prefer or would we want too...a nigga will wait years lol we do most of the time...we wait from the moment we see people! lmao

- absolutely not. I can't think of one valid reason to wait 90 days

- I've waited years. More than once. I never really invest time and money just for sex. That's just prolonged prostitution. I'm in it for the person. If they're worth it, I don't really care about the wait. I'll tell you this...I always told my female cousins to stick to that 90 day rule. If he's there for you...he'll wait. If not, better you get rid of him now instead of wasting your time.

- HELLLL NO SON....*in my angriest DMX voice*

- Only if I was getting some from somewhere else instead..



So if we think like a man for a moment it looks like some men will wait, some men will not. I won't tell you who these answers are from but these are all seemingly good guys. Some of which are married, some have been in pretty long relationships. Although the answer from women varied like the men, it seems that more of us would wait. Here are my thoughts on waiting.


The whole strategic game thing is a load of b*******. Women weren't built to think like men. Every time we try, we over think. You know why? Because men are far less complex than we are. If a man says he's cold, he really is cold. When a woman says she's cold, she really wants you to take the jacket off your back and give it to her. There's no way that we can fix our complex minds to think like a simple man. We shouldn't have to. We're built different for a reason, to compliment each other. Why would you make a man wait 90 days for sex? I say you don't have sex until YOU are ready. There's no time stamp on that. If you know you're ready to have sex with someone within 90 seconds, go ahead and do it! We're all adults. If it takes you 90 years, do you! Two people should not have sex until they're ready. Making him wait 90 days when you knew 89 days ago that you'd let him hit, all because Steve Harvey said so, is dumb. Him waiting 90 days doesn't mean that he's a great guy and you'll be together forever. Sleeping with a man after the second time doesn't mean he only wants you for the sex. Building a meaningful relationship has everything to do with communication, period. I think women should Think Like Women. If a man wants someone who thinks like him, he's more interested in peen than you. If a man is really into you, he'll make it loud and clear, whether sex is involved or not. There is no shortage of vagina in the world. Steve Harvey makes great points in the video below, but I'm not buying that it's at all that easy.

Views: 26108

Comment by AllyNWonderland on April 26, 2012 at 4:24pm
Comment by Sheli on April 26, 2012 at 4:48pm

Just curious does the 90 rule and thinking like a man, acting like a lady apply to male-on-male relationships?

Anyway....Everyone is on their best behavior during the beginning of a real courtship, no one is their "true self" we all send in representatives who try to be on our best behavior. So say said male is doing almost everything right in those first 90 days, this still doesn't prevent the inevitable, that you get caught up, he changes, & your feelings get hurt, there's no way around that, it's life. True without the complication of sex, you're more aware, but it'll still happen. So I don't see the "Gospel"  in the 90-Day rule. Women are usually good judges of character, we know what kind of man Eric from accounting is, we just choose to overlook those not so good qualities, that later come to bite us in the ass. I will agree with Steve in saying we give men WAY TOO much power over us.

Comment by Love is a Losing Game on April 26, 2012 at 6:51pm
Personally, I think this rule ish is a crock of bull. There is no way to ensure that a man will stay with you and 'respect you enough to be faithful to you' just because u made him wait 90 days. Steve, if my comprehension was on point, said that you two should be in a COMMITTED relationship for 90 days before u give it up. Not just merely communicating and dating for 90 days before u let him hit. COMMITTED means he's not hitting side chicks while he is waiting on your 90 days to pass. If he is hittin other chicks, then this is not was steve was talking about. I think its dumb to put a time frame on when YOU should be ready to get it in. This is a way to slow women down, but in my opinion, this thinking can make a woman become very bitter. If a man sees you as wife material, that is what he sees in you. These rules can mess his perception up, because he will think you can't make decisions for yourself. I don't think you should let him hit after a day or week or whatever, but if you do so what? And I know many people who have gotten married after they had sex very early in their courtship. Ijs, think with your own mind, not what steve is saying.
Comment by Ms. BoiBye on April 26, 2012 at 7:24pm

Im sorry.  I am not and will not take relationship advice from a man who abused his wife and is a damn comedian.

Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on April 26, 2012 at 8:00pm

No one is saying that it is guaranteed that he will stay with you if you wait 90 days or more to have sex. I'm saying that if you wait until you know him you might not get got. Not every woman is a good judge of character. If that were true then the book wouldn't have been a best seller, become a movie, and grossed $33 million in its first weekend. Everyone learns to recognize game at a different pace. What I pick up as game in the first 90 seconds of meeting a guy some other chick might not pick up even after 90 days. What is the harm in waiting 90 days anyway? If he is a good man then he'll wait because he knows there are a lot of shiftless azzhole guys out here pretending to be good men. He'll wait until you trust him. If he's just a shiftless azzhole guy you might end up saving yourself some aggravation and mileage on your puzzi.

Hey, to each their own. But if a woman is looking back over her past relationships and seeing that she gets a lot of bums that she didn't find out were bums until they got in her panties then maybe it might be a good idea for her to institute a waiting period. JMHO

Comment by Love is a Losing Game on April 26, 2012 at 8:32pm
Cc I agree....but if a woman sees this from her past relationships, maybe she should start to try to figure out why she chooses shiftless men. Then do the waiting period. I just don't want to get all hyped up thinking if I do it this way or that way then it means he truly loves me. The book was successful because it preyed on one thing that women want most and that is a successful relationship and a husband. Not because steve has all the answers. And let me just say, megan good broke her 90 days at like day 65 because dude mistakenly told her he loved her. The movie and book were very inconsistent.
Comment by JustMe on April 26, 2012 at 11:54pm
I'm with CC... The 90 day rule is just to learn the guy. Much like your probationary period at a new job... Waiting 90 days won't guarantee the best results, but it will cut out some of the bull...
Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on April 27, 2012 at 8:51am

Thanks, JM, that's what I was saying succinctly.

LIALG, if you have an orifice for a man to stick his penis in then you will attract shiftless men. Period. Everyone just isn't good at seeing them a mile away like I can. I got a friend now who is so money savvy her and Suze Orman are just sisters from another mother. lol But when it comes to men? Ugh! I want to smack her!

Comment by University of Smitty on April 27, 2012 at 9:25am

I agree with CC. 

Comment by PrettyPretty on April 27, 2012 at 1:00pm

I made a guy wait three years to have sex with me he did all the right things after sex I visited him a few times we lived in different cities he was up for a promotion and I was there for him helped him pick out his suit and all...Shortly after he ended things with me and married someone else:-( so ummm no Im not waiting again I had to many feelings for him and was crushed not only did I lose a "lover" I lost a great friend


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