Think Like A Man: Should You Make A Man Wait 90 Days For Sex?

'Think Like A Man' has proven itself to be a Box Office hit raking in $33Million in its opening week. The movie is based on Steve Harvey's book "Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man". In the movie they touch on the infamous 90 Day Rule. This rule has been around long before Steve Harvey's book. The 90 Day Rule basically says that a woman should make a man wait 90 days before having sex. Does this work? Are the "games" really proving anything? I asked my Twitter followers and actually got a pretty good mix of responses. 



Ladies, would you make a man wait 90 days for sex?

- yeah cause I may not even like u after 20 days

- I would...I did...waaaay longer than 90 days. We are married now. We were each other's 1st. Met at 17.

- at this point in my life knowing what I know- YES!

- No! That would mean I would have to wait!



Fellas, would you wait 90 days for sex?

- people have waiting much longer you know? you mean do we prefer or would we want too...a nigga will wait years lol we do most of the time...we wait from the moment we see people! lmao

- absolutely not. I can't think of one valid reason to wait 90 days

- I've waited years. More than once. I never really invest time and money just for sex. That's just prolonged prostitution. I'm in it for the person. If they're worth it, I don't really care about the wait. I'll tell you this...I always told my female cousins to stick to that 90 day rule. If he's there for you...he'll wait. If not, better you get rid of him now instead of wasting your time.

- HELLLL NO SON....*in my angriest DMX voice*

- Only if I was getting some from somewhere else instead..



So if we think like a man for a moment it looks like some men will wait, some men will not. I won't tell you who these answers are from but these are all seemingly good guys. Some of which are married, some have been in pretty long relationships. Although the answer from women varied like the men, it seems that more of us would wait. Here are my thoughts on waiting.


The whole strategic game thing is a load of b*******. Women weren't built to think like men. Every time we try, we over think. You know why? Because men are far less complex than we are. If a man says he's cold, he really is cold. When a woman says she's cold, she really wants you to take the jacket off your back and give it to her. There's no way that we can fix our complex minds to think like a simple man. We shouldn't have to. We're built different for a reason, to compliment each other. Why would you make a man wait 90 days for sex? I say you don't have sex until YOU are ready. There's no time stamp on that. If you know you're ready to have sex with someone within 90 seconds, go ahead and do it! We're all adults. If it takes you 90 years, do you! Two people should not have sex until they're ready. Making him wait 90 days when you knew 89 days ago that you'd let him hit, all because Steve Harvey said so, is dumb. Him waiting 90 days doesn't mean that he's a great guy and you'll be together forever. Sleeping with a man after the second time doesn't mean he only wants you for the sex. Building a meaningful relationship has everything to do with communication, period. I think women should Think Like Women. If a man wants someone who thinks like him, he's more interested in peen than you. If a man is really into you, he'll make it loud and clear, whether sex is involved or not. There is no shortage of vagina in the world. Steve Harvey makes great points in the video below, but I'm not buying that it's at all that easy.

Views: 26106

Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on April 27, 2012 at 2:02pm

PrettyPretty, I'm confused. What would not waiting have solved? So he could have left you sooner?

Comment by blackfujones on April 27, 2012 at 2:26pm

dont give a s*** how long it will wait yrs to stayin w/ your ass afterwards is different bc i dont really give a s*** if u give it to me quick or has no bearing on whether i like u or not

Comment by blackfujones on April 27, 2012 at 2:31pm

@sheli...women are good judges of character...thats a reach aint it?

@boibye but we'll accept the leader of the free world who admitted doing cocaine?

-men really just dont give a damn moreorless if you screw em 4 mins from now or 4yrs later just as long as they conquer their prey theyre good.  People take this 90 day rule like they are really gonna find a soulmate around every bend. You're gonna fine a few friends/associates/a*******/f-buddies etc. When you choose to screw them or to even screw them at all is totally up to you

Comment by blackfujones on April 27, 2012 at 2:32pm


i think what shes saying is everything is a roll of the dice i guess

Comment by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on April 27, 2012 at 3:42pm

The 90 day rule is crzy to me.  I believe Im a good judge of character but a man could wait 3 days or as in Pretty's case 3 years to show you who they really are.  Look at ole girl who just posted the confused topic, her FIANCE got out of control and they were together for years.  There is no time frame to really get to know someone - just watch for the signs of what you don't want.  If Im really comfortable with someone and I feel like I wanna sleep with them in 90 minutes, that's what Im going to do. 


If he's already flaky on the calls, dates, texts, then you have sex with him and it's more noticeable afterwards...he didn't change, you just failed to acknowledge it when it happened before sex. 

Comment by Sheli on April 27, 2012 at 3:44pm

 @blackfujones - yes some of us are, I didn't say we pick the best characters. We know a guy is horrible after we interact with him & we choose overlook his shiesty ways. Look at the discussions on here, chicks that post these complicated situations know the type of man they are dealing with from jump, describe him to a "TEE", but still move forward to pursue him. They saw his character, but just decided to turn a blind eye. Good judges, just horrible decision making & follow through.

Honestly I just don't like Steve & his condescending attitude so everything he says just sounds wrong to me (if that mofo says 2+2=4, I'll find a way to make it 5, lol),  but I will say I was always taught when you're ready to have sex with a male, sleep on it one or two more day and if you still feel it's right then go for it. I haven't had a problem with that as of yet, whether it was 14 days or 365 days, all my screws turned into relationships  + one great friendship **shrugs**

Comment by Miss Good on April 27, 2012 at 9:23pm
The 90 day rule to me is dumb. I agree it is a way to get to know the person but you can know someone for years without truly knowing them. If a man really wants to take you down, he will wait. I had someone chase me for a few years after knowing him, we finally did it, and now im the one waiting for his txts telling me to come through. Me, personally, I know exactly what I want w/ someone within minutes of meeting them. I know if i want them for strictly sex, a relationship, or just a friend. If im spending time with a man and by 90 days i dont have the desire to sleep with him then i probably never will. If im into someone, ill probably make a move before then. Every man is different but alot of the men i have met do not care about when they have sex. If the feeling is mutual, then its okay to have sex, as long as they get it.
Comment by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on April 27, 2012 at 10:47pm

I will say that I thought the book was told ME stuff that I already knew and the rest..welll....I wanted my money back after I read it.

Comment by Talk 2 Q on April 28, 2012 at 1:13am

Most guys who will wait 90 days for a woman to have sex is probably getting it elsewhere for 89 days.  I've heard so many women say, "I know within a few seconds if I'm going to sleep with a man after I meet him." 


Then why wait?  I'm not saying jump him on Day One, but just go with the flow and whatever happens, happens.


I respect Steve Harvey's hustle.  He's making his money (giving out basic info most people should already know) and entertaining people.  But, if I were dating and met a woman who used his book as a road map to finding a man, I'd run. 

Comment by Love is a Losing Game on April 28, 2012 at 1:42am
After I read the book, I was still looking for the real juice. Steve told a lot of Men Code, but I think the book didnt cover what I thought it would. Someone mentioned that men are now on to the secrets from steve and may use it against us. I agree with that. Every time I wait for the door to be opened by a man, he always say 'u must have read the book, or now u must have seen the movie' and I alwasys laugh. Any man that is around me will do what men do, for me, at all times. Opening doors, pumping gas, taking garbage out, Imo are 'men jobs' and I make sure they do them. I don't say anything, I just stand by the door til he opens it, bundle the garbage up then look at him, stop at the gas station and look at him. If a man, any man, brother, uncle, cousin, date is with me, I make sure I allow them to do their manly duties. Anyway, stuff like this is so basic and does not deserve reward. I wanted steve to talk about why men cheat, lie, make excuses, and just don't uphold their end of the bargin. Not all but enough of them to make putting women on to the signs worthwhile. I think steve made women look at themselves as the problem as to why they are not in successful relationships. They don't demand this, they don't demand that, they too fast on this, they too slow on that, just a bunch of chapters whitewashing real life concerns. Now, I hope not to anger anyone with this, but steve married a family friend. A woman that prob waited her 90 days and then some ....for his divorce to be initiated AND finalized. Now, knowing that she was smiling in folk face but sending messages to him that would lead him to believe she was 'interested' in him, was that thinking like a man and acting like a lady? Ijs....what chapter was this cool in? I wanted steve to discuss these things and not how I should sit around with a cork in my cooch lol until a guy has been in a committed relationship with me for 90 days befored we had sex. I gotta do all that?? what if I don't want a relationship right now, but...I it? How can I say sex and love are seperate on one hand, but then say no sex unless in exchange for love on the other?? Why do I have to consider every man I meet to be 'the one'? Why so much pressure that we gotta make 'rules?' I mean what if no guy makes you a wife after consistently waiting 90 days? Will 'all men become dogs' be cause they didn't pass your test? Lol a man that wants you will do anything to have you. He will go through hell and high water just to make you his. You can not stop a man from getting what he wants, but steve didn't mention that. Steve said let's test these dudes out and make this a game, when he knows that he went thru hell and high water to have what he wanted. As a lady, all we have to do is be something to be had. Wait. Be still. And they will run to us.


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