GOING IN THE BACK DOOR (Classic Edition)

Now, you all know how much work it is to do the research on these ballers—finding out where they eat, play, and party. You spend lots of money on looking good, preparing for the evening out, and many times, some of you leave empty-handed. Yes, no man, no number because some other chick is on his arm. Who dat??? She got ‘em, but she didn’t meet him at the club. You have to be creative. [The below is especially beneficial if you can't strip, can't do videos, and your body is half-bangin. If unemployment check is running out soon, please print this page!)

First things first—Get a business card. It looks much better than him standing there plugging your number into his phone under your new nickname. Get a simple card: Name and phone or email only, no address or titles. Even if he still taps your number into his phone, slip him in the card anyway, it’s a good look, and easy to use if you see him with his girl. Damn it. Just hand them babies out. Do you. While bitches hate, you will be planting your seeds. ‘You never know’ should be your credo. Reserve cards only for top, ballerific events. This is not a time for foolish pride. Real chicks get in, they don’t have time to play or waste with what others are thinking. You have to stand out.

You can use a date or a night of sex with someone like Lebron James, Puffy, Ludacris or the like and milk it for years. When you date famous men, more famous men want to date you because your stock has risen. Ever heard of that book: Why Mrs. Allen Iverson’s House Is Dirty and She Only Uses Paper Plates? That’s your book, waiting to be written because you were there in that house, one time! You didn’t even sleep with Allen. Get your hustle on. A real baller chick would know how to work that. But you gotta do it right. You may isolate yourself if these men think you can’t keep a secret. Check out Karrine, she ended up with a has-been from Family Matters who she has to support. On her side: she got bread. You better hope that the milk can sustain you because most likely you won’t be able to get any more money from them. So, think right!

If you live in a major city, you need to find out where they’re at. Going to the gym? Shell out the 2Gs to join the celebrity gym a la Reebok Sports Club in your area. Flying? Blow the card on first class, girl! You never know who is next to you. If that’s too much, you may not be ready to risk it all to date a real baller aka multi-millionaire. That has to be what you breathe and eat every day. You have to think big. You need a strategy. It’s a 9-5 job. If you are only interested in the newest rapper, well, you can stop reading here<.> I am addressing ladies who are on the prowl for a man who has a net worth at least 10-15 million dollars. At least. Even baller chicks are tryin’ to get ballers. The competition is tough. Just ask: Melyssa Ford, Gabrielle Union, Sanaa Lathan, Kelly Rowland, and other chicks that frequent the scene and are still s-i-n-g-l-e. You didn’t meet him in college like his baby mama. You have to get in there now and you don’t have lots of time. Your beauty is your only asset. That’s real talk.

Have free time? Use it wisely! Yes, ladies. These days you have to be more creative than just parties because that bitch is there, too. Get a part-time job at the Jaguar, Benz, Range Rover, etc. dealership. Find out where the charity events are. Call them up, ask to help out at the registration table or VIP. You meet athletes, CEOS, and influentials all in one room. You get in there, do your job, and join the party. Or you can just buy the VIP reception ticket only and skip the dinner which is too expensive. They engage you in conversation and think you’re there because you know the right people. They don’t have to know how. It makes you look good! But you have to have personality for this and don’t invite your girls. They are the enemy. Go alone (more on why later). And you will not find ANY groupies there (except those under disguise like you).

It’s time to change the game up and be the bitch on his arm, not the one standing across the room looking for a way in.

Get ‘em girl!