Five I Love Yous That Don’t (Have To) Count

How many people have you said “I love you” to? If someone asked me that question, I wouldn’t know how to respond. I have managed to block out some of the love I may have spread over the years, just as some people shrink the number of people they’ve slept with. We’re not callous people here at The Frisky, but some of us have said that phrase when it shouldn’t have been said. Here’s when “I love you” doesn’t necessarily count.

IT DOESN’T COUNT IF…

1. ...you were young and naive.
You told your high school boyfriend you loved him, didn’t you? And then the two of you broke up a few months later? I did. At the time, I thought it was love when someone sent you roses on your 16th birthday and mailed you letters while you were at summer camp. But it’s not. And then he got weird, wouldn’t let me dump him, and started showing up at my house uninvited. Definitely not love.

2. ...you were lonely.
This isn’t nice to do to someone, but sometimes you don’t realize until after the relationship is over that you were only in it because you were bored. You just kept staying together and going through the steps that you go through when you’re in a relationship, including saying “I love you.” And then, after you realized this, you broke his little heart. Oops. If you’ve done this accidentally, try not to do it again. If you’ve done this on purpose, shame on you.

3. ...your blood alcohol content was five times the legal limit.
We don’t advise binge drinking, but things can get out of control from time to time. We know. When they do, you might say something because you’re feeling so in the moment. Really, you’re just feeling those seven gin blossom cocktails.

4. ...you only have a vague idea that you might have said it.
Just like you can totally blank on remembering to pick up milk at the grocery—or whether he actually penetrated—you can forget about the feelings you had for someone after you’ve moved on. It’s possible that you and the guy you dated freshman year of college said those three words, but the relationship after him was so much better and deeper that it eclipses any love the two of you might have had.

5. ...you slipped up and said it.
A new relationship can sometimes feel like an old one, and you might accidentally say things you’ve said to other guys, i.e., called him someone else’s nickname or said “I love you” to him before drifting off to sleep. It sucks when this happens because it might scare the new guy off, but it’s not your fault you’re having relationship deja-vu.

Now, go forth and choose your words wisely.