How Soon is Too Soon?....FROM A MALE'S POINT OF VIEW
We have numerous forums asking How Long Should I Wait Before Giving Up The Goods? I asked my good friend Tommie Collins who writes about relationships on BET.com to help us out with this question.
Here is what he had to say:
The question of how long should women wait before they give themselves to a man has been a hot topic for years. Thanks to various sexual revolutions in our society and culture, this debate has taken many different directions in the past few decades. In the 70’s and 80’s, women made it known that men had to WAIT and do for them until they EARNED a chance to get their “good lovin.” The 90’s however, brought out a different message; a message that ladies should get sex when THEY wanted it…even if it was sooner than later. The question still lingers in 2009, do you wait, or do you go for it?
First of all, times have changed. Men used to be the only “savages” on the prowl for sex at all times. Not anymore. Females have put it out there that they are just as horny as men are, if not horny-ER. With that being said, if you decide to hump a prospect that you really don’t know that well, you should not be ashamed. It’s 2009, if he is outraged at you two wrestling naked too soon, then he’s probably on old fashioned prude assed dude. This isn’t your grandmother’s relationship, times have changed and so have the rules. Ladies, you want it just like we want it. Take that shit.
When you decide to give it up early, make sure the lucky man who is reaping the benefits knows the deal. Tell him that he is privileged to be in this situation, but that the timeline has nothing to do with your expectations of how he needs to treat you. You have to set the record straight early so that these guys don’t see you as a one night hitter quitter. Men will only treat them how you let them. Inform them that they aren’t GETTING it, you are GIVING it to them. Take that ego right out the picture and focus on getting your nut, sweetheart.
A wise prophet once said, “I don’t want it if it’s that eeaassyyyyy.” This is true on so many levels. But you sleeping with a man early in the relationship doesn’t have to equate to you being easy. It’s all about how you carry yourself. Don’t ever ask a man “if he’ll respect you” after you two have sex. He probably won’t if you ask him that. MAKE him respect you before you sleep together and I guarantee you won’t have to ask him a question like that, ever. Make him work for it, I can’t tell you how, that’s for you to decide. I can tell you that telling him to pick up some carryout before he comes over and ravages you is NOT putting in work. Make him treat you like a queen before you give you the royal jewels.
Thoughts?
Tags: relationships
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Comment by smallwonder903 on August 26, 2009 at 11:50am - 100% Agreed!
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Comment by Charlie/Daddy's Girl on August 26, 2009 at 11:56am - that said a whole bunch of nothing...
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Comment by blackback on August 26, 2009 at 12:22pm - LMAO!Fuck that shit if I wanna fuck , I'ma fuck and if you really "lose respect", ho weak are you?!?
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Comment by livelife25 on August 26, 2009 at 12:22pm - @charlie...thought it was just me that felt that way after reading this....lol
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Comment by sierramist on August 26, 2009 at 12:54pm - bull and shit
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Comment by Cougar $pice on August 26, 2009 at 12:55pm - lmao @ the responses.
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Comment by Cougar $pice on August 26, 2009 at 1:00pm
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@ Boss, I thought this was from anonymous baller LOL
I'd rather hear from him on this.
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Comment by Cali Rookie on August 26, 2009 at 1:02pm - hmmm... lol
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Comment by Sheli on August 26, 2009 at 2:12pm - If I'm sleeping with you on the first night, then it's obvious that I don't want/need your respect just your D**K! Lol, but seriously.... was the answer 'no time is too soon, just make sure he respects you before and after'
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Comment by ReadytoSettleDown on August 26, 2009 at 2:26pm - this was written by a mature man...most of the men out there aren't mature. running into a mature man or at least one with some sense is the tricky part
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