Today I had a conversation with a longtime friend. I’ve known her for nearly 26 years. I call her ME. Sometimes I feel like I could be Dr. Phil, in all actuality though, I have my own issues too. Now, I’m not the one to teach you how to be a woman, and this is not directed to anyone in particular so take what I have to say for what it’s worth. So here goes..

1)Respect Yourself, THEN Demand Respect: Quit demanding respect from men with your titty-balls hanging out. How can you expect any man to respect you if you don’t respect yourself. A wise man once said, "You may not be a hoe, but you’re wearing a hoe’s uniform"...[I think that wise man was Dave Chappelle] .. but it’s totally true. Be mindful of how you are perceived to others, because that is how they will treat you. You act, look, smell like trash, you get treated like trash. I’m not saying you gotta throw the coochie cutters and porn star platform pumps out the window. But just know there’s a time and a place. I don’t want to be at the mall seeing your ass cheeks hanging out. If thats the way you put yourself out there, don’t be surprised if all you can pull is a AINT S*** MAN! [This goes for MySpacers/Tweeters/Facebookers too!]

2)Don’t change YOU to change HIM: Ladies, Ladies, Ladies. How many times do we (myself included) think that if we make huge, I mean MAJOR, decisions in our lives its gonna change a man. Trust me, there’s nothing we can do to make a man grow up. Nothing we can do to make him love you more, nothing you can do to make him treat you better. HE has to want it! Men won’t make changes in their lives to accommodate you, so why do it for them. For those who don’t know what I’m talking about..I’m talking about Major life changing decisions. A decision that you ultimately will be stuck with. Whether that be moving to a new location, making a new financial investment, having children or changing jobs. You can’t do it because you want him to change, you gotta do it for you, and because you can handle it. And if you choose to make any of the above decisions, make sure you can handle it in the event that it all f-cks up.

3)He’ll only do what you allow him to do: I know I have been guilty of this from the start but I think I have it under control. If you allow a man to hit you..he will forever hit you. If you allow a man to spit at you, curse you out and disrespect you, guess what, he’ll always do it. Once a doormat always a doormat. You can love that man as hard as you can, but it doesn’t change the fact that in his eyes you are a possession. A dumb possession that will take his b******* as long as he can dish it. Ladies, STAND UP! For once, stand up for yourself. Prove that you’re more than the fool that he thinks you are. Let a man know what you will and will not stand for. Because if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything. If a man can’t appreciate you being a STRONG and CONFIDENT woman, you don’t need him anyway.

4)Don’t Let The Past Ruin The Future: Another thing I’m guilty of. I know I have let past relationships or past issues dictate what happens in my life. I know I need to stop. I know now that everything in the past serves as a learning experience. You can bet your ass though, a mistake I made last week, won’t be a mistake I’ll make today!!

5)Take Care Of Business FIRST!: Always take care of your business. Keep your kids fed, keep your home taken care of, and keep yourself fresh. Worry about that extracurricular BS later. Don’t nobody want no chick that can’t take care of herself. That spoiled thing only gets you so far! Please dont get me started on those triflin, chicken head , gold diggin, do anything for a quick buck hoes out there. Yall know who you are. Get money b-tches! But get ya own, keep your hands off everyone elses stacks.

6)Get Your Own Sh-t, Why U Ridin Mine?: Ladies, quit with that dumb bird mentality thinking that because a man aint happy at home its your obligation to step in and make him feel "good". Being a jumpoff aint never been a respectable occupation. There are women out there who make it more than a hobby, but a JOB to mess with another woman’s man. Let me drop a lil jewel on you Mami(s), there’s a reason you’re the SIDE CHICK! He is too embarrassed to take you in public or bring you around the family. You’re just good as a skeet repository and he’s on to the next. Quit looking for a relationship out of a man thats already in one. He won’t leave her for you..if he was going to, he would have already. And if he happens to, he’ll do you the exact same way he did her. It’s usually these little sideline ho’s that find themselves dumb, knocked up and in love with a ninja that only wants her for her money and her poom poom. Don’t believe me? Take a good look. Does this negro only call you after dark? Anytime he see’s you does he ask you for money? Do you feel its all about sex? Is he not leaving his girl even though he swears things are bad? Yep! You’re a JUMP OFF!