Heading To Indy For Super Bowl? Don't Forget To Pack Your "HO-BAG"

I was having a conversation with someone today when this word came up. I hadn't used it since NBA All Star Weekend of last year so I thought I'd put it to use today. The word is "Ho-Bag"

What Is A Ho-Bag

Ho Bag [hoe-bag] noun: a portable container or receptacle for carrying articles to be used in cases of unplanned or surprise sexual excursions.


Let's use Ho Bag in a sentence
"The Giants AND Patriots are going to be in town tonight, let me pack my ho-bag in case I can't make it home tonight"

Have you ever been in a situation where you meet a guy at the club, he's looking good, saying all the right things and you feel like just being "free" for the night and having a one night stand? We've all been there before. Well, what do you do when you're not prepared? No one wants to take the walk-of-shame in the same clothes you came in last night! Well, that is exactly what a ho-bag is. Think of it as a Ho S*** Survival Kit!


What's In A Ho-Bag?

The contents of a ho-bag include but are not limited to:


• change of clothes

• toothbrush/toothpaste

• a pre-paid phone and some form of identification (just in case some crazy person tries to kidnap you and all the police find is your ho-bag. This is a worst case scenerio of course!)

• towels (who cares what you do with them, be creative)

• condoms (safe sex is great sex)

• cab fare

• mint gum (breath mints will also suffice)

• flats (shoes)

• deodorant

• liquid body soap

• snacks, if your blood sugar is low

• extra panties (if you wear those)

• make-up

• a digital camera (if you're nasty)


What You Need To Know About A Ho-Bag?

- Ho-Bags can be paper or plastic. Leather or suede. People who use their ho-bags more than others tend to have fancier ones. If your ho-bag is Louis Vuitton, you have a problem and should consider counseling.

- A Ho-Bag should not be confused with an overnight bag. Overnight bags are usually for planned stays away from home, ho-bags are spontaneous.

- On nights when theres no sex to be had, ho-bags can be found in the trunk of your car

- Ho Bags should never leave the trunk of your car unless you are planning on NOT taking your car to the club that night. Once you see how important ho bags are, you'll never understand how you lived without one.

- Never under ANY circumstances let anyone borrow ANYTHING in your ho-bag. That's just nasty. No one likes a nasty ho!


Now ladies, what's in your ho-bag?


Views: 1021

Tags: bag, hoe, night, over

Comment by Phoenix on February 3, 2012 at 2:23pm

Lmaooo! I talk about my heaux bag on twitter all the time!! <3 it. 

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