A White Woman’s Opinion On Black Men Not Dating Black Women

Spotted this posted online and thought I'd share. A white woman wrote in to Sister 2 Sister Magazine asking black men about why they date white women. She began by listing reasons why she thought so. Her letter was answered by a black male. Interesting read. Check it out below.

Dear Jamie:

I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of Black female’s attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes… I could go on and on. But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl

Somewhere in VA RESPONSE


Dear Jamie:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.

I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.

The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.

Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control.

I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.

Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth ‘Babyface’ Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women. And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.

I just don’t want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!

It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.

It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the black women’s strength; elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them.

Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?

I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given.

Signed, Black Royalty


I for one feel the first letter could have been penned without being disrespectful, therefore the reaction she got would have been more favorable. However, it is what it is and I see what she was basically dragged for filth. Unfortunately there are people who won't just date who they want to date without feeling the need to not only explain, but drag the "non chosen" down. You want to date black men, that's fine sis but what you WON'T do is think you have the philosophy down as to why ALL black man who choose to date white women, do it. What you also won't do is think that kind of stuff coming out of your mouth won't get you slapped. 

But, I don't condone violence. 

Views: 18772

Comment by Love is a Losing Game on January 17, 2014 at 9:53am
This letter has been around for quite some time. Anyway. I hope my ex gets a white girl. He's simple. They'd be in bliss.
Comment by siarasheree on January 17, 2014 at 9:59am

U see ..the main reason I love to travel abroad...RACE is not a huge deal ... well depending on where u go... USA is very focused on race... but its understandable... 

Comment by Sissy on January 17, 2014 at 10:19am

I'm going to need for people to stop pigeon holing entire races of people!  There are people from all different races who fit both of their respective descriptions!  Don't get it twisted though...being a black woman, I DO feel like we're royalty and I DO feel like women of other races go hard to look like us.  Men will call out a weave 24/7 but will forget to mention all these women getting full damn surgeries to look like us lol...

All that said, kudos to both of them.   

Comment by Sissy on January 17, 2014 at 10:24am

Oh, and I know pleeeeeeeeenty of wealthy white men who LOVE black women. Damn near all the European men I know get over here and kill themselves trying to get a black woman.  

People have their preferences, no shade to any other race of woman.  I'm just sick of hearing white/hispanic/asian/dumbass women who pull a black man talk about why black men don't want black women- as if we are undesirable.  Bitch, how you think the races got mixed? LOL, were we pursuing white men??  

It's silly.  

Comment by Love is a Losing Game on January 17, 2014 at 10:45am

Sissy, these women get those views from the BLACK MEN they date. Black men should stop talking ish about black women and just be happy with who they are with. Personally, I think black men who want to date white women should. I don't see a problem with it. And they should do so because they found something womderful in the white woman. Not because there is nothing wonderful about the black women they had dated in the past.

Comment by Brittany on January 17, 2014 at 11:08am
@sissy yaaaas I been preaching this for da LONGEST! I hate whites r any race talkn bout black women are undesirable. .well y da f*** white men couldnt stop fuckn us back then??? Y do u think they were purposely breeding us to INSURE that every female birn black would have our perfect body structure? The women with the fattest ass thickest thighs n hips, highest cheekbones and DARKEST SKIN were usually the MOST sought after and most expensive!! So wen u whites try to pull that wackass "undesirable/ugly" card..do a little history on how many beautiful black women ur greatgreat grandad f***** n impregnated cyz he couldnt resist a black beauty!
Comment by Tone on January 17, 2014 at 11:22am

Black womens stop being so easy to troll.

Comment by siarasheree on January 17, 2014 at 11:25am

@RAD .. i gotcha... but maybe its just my experience... But i have observed that other places recognized that you're an American first BEfore skin color... I just came from Australia .. they love the fact that I was a black AMERICAN.. the men and women..

Comment by Mimi on January 17, 2014 at 11:30am

 This is so true ive always said that most of these black men that date white women are men with no back bone and need someone that will not challenge him and basically let he run the show with no question. Us black women don’t mind a man running the show but we will question you when we see things are headed for disaster.

Comment by MsPretty92 on January 17, 2014 at 11:42am
That response was everything! She might be getting used and she don't even know it.


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