BALLER MAIL - ABUSIVE BALLER

Comment by scmami on September 22, 2009 at 12:22pm

Family should be the first place to go. Forget your pride, do not be ashamed and just go to which ever relative is closest to you. Do not worry about how you will provide for yourself, those things will work themselves out. Because you haven't told anybody, nobody really knows you need help. They may suspect it but they are minding their business.

Help yourself and leave that house. Walk, take a bus, catch a cab and ask a friend to pay for it.

I know if a family member or a friend came to me in a cab and said, my man is beating me, i have no where to go and i cant even pay for this cab, i would gladly pay for it and take them in.

Help yourself sweetie, you won't get out until you make that step.

Comment by Denise on September 22, 2009 at 12:37pm

If you are really ready to leave contact your friends or family and let them know you need help.....now is not the time for pride.....they should be there to help you pick up the pieces.....If it is really bad leave everything behind and go.....if not have the sheriff meet you and your family at the home to move you out.....just make to to pre-arrange all of this...have a plan and those you love to help you follow that plan.....the longer you wait, the worst it will be.....oh and leave the phone at his house....he does not need a way to beg and apologize and make you feel bad or stalk you....Good Luck u r in my Prayers

Comment by Sheli on September 22, 2009 at 12:45pm

If she is against telling her family about this then call the national abuse hotline 1−800−799−SAFE , they'll actually help her come up with a plan to leave and provide her with the money & temporay shelter to do so in some cases. I understand her not wanting to go to her family because sometimes they are eating off the same plate as you and if this is the case then there is the possibly that they will alert her Baller to her plans to leave. When you leave don't try to take anything with you but a few change of clothing (thats how women get caught) all that other stuff is means to control you so leave it there. Don't do anything to alert him to the possibility that you are leaving either. I hope you find some type of help with this situation.

Comment by The GunnAr Management Group, LLC on September 22, 2009 at 12:46pm

Just walk away. It will be the hardest thing you do because you have become comfortable with things and have probably convinced yourself that "at least he's still with me." How do you even know that at this point? This is about control and it was systematic. Swallow your pride, call your mother, cousins, siblings, girfriends anybody and let them know you need them right now. Individuals that seek to control another are dangerous. The best way to gain control is through the mind. Once they got you there - the rest is easy. Gifts aren't worth this. Go buy your own ballerisque shoes and clothes girl. The best thing you can do for yourself right now at this very moment is tell yourself you "deserve" better. It will be painful at first, but your independence, health and happiness will be your best reward.

Comment by Devyn AKA Dominique Devereaux on September 22, 2009 at 12:57pm

The isolation from your family/friends was the first clue...You need to grab a bag of essentials and go! Call a friend or family member and set it up in advance. When he's out you need to be gone. Leave the cell phone in the house so there is no way for him to reach you. You have to think about yourself and your well being before this gets too far out of control...GOOD LUCK!

Comment by Tee on September 22, 2009 at 2:01pm

U need to pack a bag and hide it. The first day you know he gonna be gone for more than 3 hours. GO. LEAVE. Call the hot line that @Sheli listed. They will help you plan everything. dont be afraid to start over cause thats what going to happen. Get it out now before its too late

Comment by Chloe on September 22, 2009 at 2:04pm

like Denise said

"the longer you wait, the worst it will be.....oh and leave the phone at his house....he does not need a way to beg and apologize and make you feel bad or stalk you....Good Luck u r in my Prayers"

Comment by Ashley Banks on September 22, 2009 at 2:16pm

These women have all posted things I truly agree with. Here is what you need to do:
1) Alert someone close to you about what he is doing and make a plan of escape.
2) Pack the essentials only, and hide them somewhere. Don't take a bunch of jewelry, don't try to take cash from a safe, just get what you need and pack it. Don't take credit cards or anything that will tie you to him electronically
3) DO NOT STEAL ANYTHING. I don't care how angry you are or if you think you're getting revenge, you're just creating more trouble for yourself.
4) Be discreet about who you talk to going forward. Do not talk to any of his friends, coaches, etc. Only talk to an attorney if necessary, I'm not sure how involved you are in his life outside of your home, but they will use everyone they can to get to you INCLUDING OTHER BALLERS' WOMEN/SPOUSES.

5) DO NOT GO BACK. Not even if he pledges to get help. This man seems to know what he's doing, and you are probably not the first woman he's gained complete control of, even if she didn't live with him.

Make a plan, move on, LET SOMEONE KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING. Document whatever you can, even if you have to e-mail yourself over and over. And start a new account with a STRONG password that he can't figure out, and e-mail yourself within that box.

I'm praying for you, get out and let us know if you're okay when it's all done.

Comment by Lisa on September 22, 2009 at 2:20pm

fter a while you realize the money, the cars, the jewels , the clothes are not worth it. Even the memories of the trips aren't as good anymore. They are all just minor trinkets. YES, you do need to get up and walk away. BUT you do need to HAVE A PLAN. If you don't have anyone to help you or any place to go you will need money. I was in a similar situation and I walked away with no one to help me and no plan and it is a struggle. HAVE a plan, SAVE money. And even struggling is better than getting your ass kicked every other month for dumb ass reasons. And most importantly, remember everything passes with time. Whatever hardships that may occur after you leave are only temporary. And leaving the sooner the better. The longer you let it go on the longer you will kick yourself later. And I must say damn there anything is better than dealing with an abusive so called man. Have a plan and stay focused!

Comment by Cookie Pie on September 22, 2009 at 3:39pm

Sweetie , you don't want to end up on the front page of a news paper . Jealousy is a sign of weakness and is never cute ! It may seem cute in the beginning but if a person loves you , they should trust you too ! For now it's just abuse and him being controlling but this can turn into something much worse ..... don't think about money , think about your life and well being ....... GET OUT while you still have a chance , even if you have to leave everything you own !

Add a Comment

• First
• Previous
• Next
• Last