For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
BALLER WIVES CLUB
“WHAT I AM MADE OF”
I sat in my new doctor’s office waiting to be seen. I’d heard about him, heard he was the best fertility doctor in Florida so I made the appointment. His office was high end and I assumed that he catered to an upper end clientele, which made me sad to think that so many women who had everything struggled with the one thing that should come as natural as being a woman. The office was elegant and gave an air of exclusivity, I appreciated his taste. The walls were a soft mauve and the furniture was nothing less than European craftsmanship. Paintings adorned the walls in every room, they were beautiful and expressive. He walked in.
“Mrs. Black, I’m Dr. Richard Hanes, it’s a pleasure meeting you” he said extending his hand. A handsome, well groomed, fit, middle aged man moved towards me. I took his hand and shook it.
“My pleasure as well”
“So tell me, how long has it been since you’ve been trying to have a baby?”
“For the past five years”
“Has any conception taken place at all in that time?” "
Yes, once but that ended in a miscarriage” I bit back the pain of speaking it.
“How long ago was that?”
“Three years ago”
“Any fertility treatments?”
“Yes, I’ve gone to almost everyone and we’ve tried almost everything”..I felt the emotion rising in my chest and I paused. “You’re my last hope” I said fighting back the tears.
“Okay, we’re going to get you pregnant. I perform cutting edge techniques that has produced successful results in the most difficult cases. It’s going to take patience and faith”
“Dr. Hanes, I must be honest. I have more patience than faith these days”
“I’m going to start you on my prenatal pills, they are super charged with amino acids and will begin the process of preparing your body for the fertility treatments and ultimately conception”. Dr. Hanes scribbled on his prescription pad then ripped off and handed me the prescription that was going to save me and my marriage. I smiled and slid into my purse my first priority was to stop to the pharmacy and get this process under way; the sooner the happier.
I made my way to the back of the store towards the pharmacy department. I don’t know if it was by instinct or if God was allowing me to be tested. I never walk down the “baby product” aisle and even before I realized it I was half way down it. My eyes moved across all of the products that displayed cute little, fat faces and toothless smiles. All of the powders and washes and pacifiers in all colors and wash rags and colognes, made me want to sweep them all up into my arms and carry them to the counter. I touched my bag and felt hope in my heart that soon I would be purposed to walk down this aisle. I made my way up to the counter and handed the tech my prescription. She typed in the information and advised that it would be ready on tomorrow after one o’clock.
“We don’t carry this medication normally, it’s a specialty order that we have delivered to us from our main pharmacy. It’ll be here tomorrow”
“Does that mean it’s good?”
“It’s expensive and from what I hear highly effective”
I felt my heart jolt in my chest at that news. I smiled and said thank you to her and headed home. The thought that this may be it, this may be the route I needed to take to become a mother and it’s finally here. I wanted this so badly, more than anything in this world. To hold my child in my arms while we lay in the arms of his or her father, my husband…life would feel complete for me. I would finally have my family and B.J. is going to make such a great big brother. I can’t wait until I’m pregnant.
After my confrontation with Brian I’ve been feeling the need to get away. I needed to be alone, so I didn’t call Prissy to accompany me to the spa this time around. Actually, I made it to the hotel but never checked in for my appointment. Candi the spa manager called me herself and I told her I’d resechedule, I just wasn’t up to it. I wanted to be alone. I sat that the bar and sipping on my second Foxie Millero; a smooth raspberry-mango vodka mix when my phone chimed. It was my sister Karen, I didn’t answer it. I didn’t want to hear about her perfect life in Arizona with her perfect husband and kids. They lived on much less than we do and they were completely happy each other, Spencer adored my sister and always have since they dated in college. He would lay down his life for her and those children and my sister would do the same for him. They were both on the same page, not one separate from another they were of one mind; a true unit. Maybe I would fly out for a week and visit them. I would call her and make plans to do that tomorrow. But in the meantime I took another sip. I moved to place my phone back into my purse and it slipped off my lap and onto the floor with a thump.
I uncrossed my legs but before I could turn to step down off of my bar stool a handsome gentleman walking by stopped and picked it up for me.
“Thank you” I smiled
“You’re welcome” he smiled back.
He was very handsome and smelled incredible. He handed me my bag and moved past me onto the other end of the bar and took a seat. I slid back onto my stool and kept my eyes on my drink. His face flashed before my eyes like snapshots of his eyes, nose, mouth and perfectly groomed and tamed gray hair that laid in a Presidential manner. He was easy and smooth, like all of his motions were of one fluid effort.
I looked down the bar at him again and he smiled at me over his drink. He dipped his head in acknowledgement and I was intrigued to know more. I picked up my glass and my wedding ring clinked against it. I looked down at it and thought of Brian, the burn of his affairs moved along my skin, I was pissed and numb. I’d been a great wife to him and have been his biggest cheerleader of his life, why would he hurt me this way? I myself coming undone and I didn’t want that, I looked down the bar at the handsome stranger again. Our eyes locked and we smiled then he motioned to the stool next to me and I looked at it then at him and my eyes gave the “Yes”.
The handsome stranger slid onto the stool next to me. Instantly we began to have small talk and some laughs and I felt the weight fall off me. He was in town negotiating a deal with the owners of a MLB team. We sat and talked for what seemed like forty five minutes but in actuality was three hours. I looked at my watch and told him I needed to get home. He told me he was in town for the night and would be leaving for Atlanta tomorrow.
“I’d love to take you out for dinner” he asked
“I’m not sure about that, I am married”
“I saw the ring but I never saw your husband, which leads me to believe that his absence and those empty drink glasses are the reasons that you are here alone looking troubled and amazing might I add”
I smiled “Thank you”
“No strings attached, I just enjoyed your company so much that I would love to see you again and spend an evening talking to you more”
“I don’t know”
“Here take my card and call me if you change your mind. I am staying here at this hotel in the penthouse suite” I took his card.
His name is Patrick and he is the new Manager of the Atlanta Clubs Baseball Team.