BALLERIFIC RELATIONSHIPS - STAYING FRIENDS WITH THE EX


There's a saying that goes as followed, "All good things come to an end." Unfortunately, this is true for relationships sometimes. At times, break ups are ugly and the couples end up not wanting to speak or see each other. Other times, the break up is mutual and amicable, and the couples decide to remain friends. While remaining friends with you ex may seem like the mature thing to do, there are obstacles that can make things difficult.

Sex
Often times than not, relationships end for other reasons than attraction. With the attraction still being there, former couples fall into a "sexual comfort zone". You know each other's wants, you know each other's needs and there is "sexual trust". Sex with you two is a bit more than physical, as there is some passion and romance involved. Unfortunately, love can be involved also. With those feelings, casual sex can lead to problems. It can bring up old feelings that lead to one or both partners wanting more. It can also cause confusion as one partner may feel that they are being used for sex. If you're going to be friends with your ex, try being friends without the benefits.


Jealousy

When having friends of the opposite sex, people tend to use those friends for advice regarding dealing with the opposite sex. Think about it, women will discuss a problem that they are having with their man with their female friends to look for sympathy. On the other hand, women will discuss that same problem with their male friends looking for advice. Discussing issues about the opposite sex with the opposite sex is very helpful. It gives insight. However, discussing those same problems with your ex can breed jealousy. Your ex may want the best for you, but they don't want to sit there and listen about your new partner. Remember, they were once yours and a little bit of them might want to still be yours. Even though your ex may be someone you completely trust, there are details about your life that they could do without.


Your Next

As friends, things can be going great between your ex. You get to enjoy all the spoils without having to deal with the commitment factors. However, things can get a little complicated when you become involved with your "next". While your ex may be comfortable with your new partner, it may not be the same vice versa. It's a huge "no no" in new relationships to discuss past relationships in depth. If you speak about your past relationships too much, your new partner may think you're not over your old partner. It's even tougher on your new partner with your ex still around. Your ex was the person you confided in, the person you loved and the person who knows you well. Your next has to deal with these challenges. Keep in mind that your new partner is trying to establish themselves in your life and may ask you to choose between your ex or your next?

Note: If children are involved, it is necessary to have a healthy amicable relationship with an ex as it helps the children have some type of normalcy despite the separation. A new person in your life should understand that your relationship with your ex is based on creative comfort for the children. Of course, the relationship must be a friendship ONLY!

If you have any questions on romance, relationships, dating, love or sex, email your questions to: iammarvin@tmo.blackberry.net

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Comment by Allergic2Counterfeit on June 13, 2010 at 5:18pm
Good post...

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