For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
This conversation came up while on Twitter last week. It originally started when a young girl flew out to see a guy and when she got there (LAX), he did not answer his phone and she was unable to reach him. She ended up stranded at the airport overnight and when the guy finally hit her up, it wasnt on the phone, it was on Twitter, acting as if nothing happened.
Now, he didn't fly her out. I just thought the story was hilarious. It did get me to thinking though. Men (Ballers or Otherwise) fly women out often but what is the expectation when they do so? How can women protect themselves from being taken advantage of? That is what brought along this blog.
Let me start with speaking the obvious truth. If a man flies you out to see him you are expected to have sex. No questions asked. That is what he wants. Those are his intentions. A man is not flying you halfway across the continent so that you can have coffee and discuss politics. Not unless you guys have been together for a while and are genuinely in "love". Knowing this bit of information will help you throughout your entire trip. It will help you play the game so that you end up on top and if you end up giving him some loving, it will be on your terms.
First and foremost, do NOT give up any sex until you have seen and confirmed that a return flight has been booked for you. Its a growing trend that guys are out here booking one way flights and making you "work" for your trip home. Girls are so excited to board that flight that they don't even pay attention to the fact that they don't have a way home. Smarten up ladies! Don't even board the flight if he can't show you an itinerary for your return home. If you ask about the return flight and he gets mad, deny the flight. If you just HAVE to go, know it is at your own risk.
Now for the ladies who have been flown out and have confirmed they have a way home, the next step is to figure out what YOU want to do. Are you intending on having sex sometime during this trip? Are you going to try and swindle your way out of it? If you're not intending on having sex, enjoy your trip. Just make sure you were smart enough to have booked yourself a hotel room. This is only if you have a difficult time dealing with will power or in case he's not too keen on the idea that you guys won't be bumping uglies. In fact, never leave home without spending money period. Whether you intend on spending it or not, in case you get stranded in the airport or dumped on the side of the road, have a way to survive in the streets.
If you do plan on having sex don't do it right away. We all saw what happened during the Chipotle Girl incident. Play your cards right. If the first thing he wants to do is have sex as soon as you hit the hotel room you are losing and will only lower your stock. Go out together, have him take you to dinner, take you shopping and do other means of "work" before you give up the goods. If you're able, try saving sex for the last night and when you do, make it the most mind blowing sex he's ever had in his life. This way not only has he gotten what he wanted, but it'll be fresh on his mind and at the very least you got what you wanted too. You got food, you got clothes, you had a great time and you got home. Hopefully you were so good he wouldn't mind doing it again.
The last thing to remember is to save the bragging and exposing. You ruin your chances when you open your mouth. Don't tell your female friends about your tryst with a Baller, she'll only try her hand at him herself. Don't run to MediaTakeout if the man didn't do any wrong to you. You only look stupid. Keep on his good side for good things to come.
What are some of your tips and "things to know" for when a Baller flies you out?
Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on October 22, 2012 at 9:55am LMAO at California! Tell 'em why you mad hon! I was always told never leave home without money to get you home. I never do. I always have my own money in case he acts up. Seems like having my own security money has meant I've never had to use it.
Comment by Rad on October 22, 2012 at 10:02am Damn, california. They're "messing up the game" as you say because they don't know better. As my mentor would say, "Common sense isn't common."
Eleven8, is doing a needed public service, because men play to their audience. If even the most basic woman followed the above and other advice given on this site, knuckleheads that we all know wouldn't get away with half the trifling behavior mentioned. That Chipotle girl story was so sad to me.
Comment by Imstruttn on October 22, 2012 at 10:24am Umm, why on earth would you travel on a one way ticket? Unless your planning to relocate that doesnt make much sense to me....And I fly out all the time and only have sex SOME of the time.
I think guys know who to try...SHiid I'm not new to this! lol
Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on October 22, 2012 at 11:51am
Comment by PlaneJaneLane on October 22, 2012 at 1:19pm Yeah if you're flying me out, and you're a "baller", it should be nothing less than a first class round trip ticket. Don't lose your mind thinking these negroes are gonna become sprung of your p****. They get it all the time.
Comment by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on October 22, 2012 at 3:42pm @ CC - I think if a guy KNOWS or even THINKS you have your own, he won't try you on no BS because it would serve no purpose. If you don't have your own - he knows you may do what you have to do to try and get back home. Im upfront and don't have time to playing games....I let'em know - sex ain't in these plans, but if I do decide to give'em some it's all on me.
Met this guy online who played ball overseas and all he wanted to talk about was when I'm coming to see him. We never discussed anything else, (and we were on the phone) besides a football game, no NOTHING..but you want me to come to you...uhhh, no sir - I already know what your expecations are and my rainy day funds will not be spent in vain. I asked him something about him and he said - "I don't wanna discuss that type of shyt right now" or something simaliar - Bye.
Now, if I was pressed, I would have been like, ohhh (in my white girl voice) ignored what he said, had him fly me out and ended up getting Chipotled.
Comment by Eleven8 on October 22, 2012 at 4:26pm Trust me, I wouldnt have to write about the "no return flights" if it wasnt happening. Girls are falling for it left and right, putting their trust in dudes they hardly know.
Comment by PeachSoda_ on October 22, 2012 at 5:13pm i don't care how high you carry yourself (cuz i am all for it! honey! strut yo stuff! ) but niggas gon push you to see how far you bend, especially if they think they gotta household name. i can't deal with the disrespect comin from most of these "stars". but these girls dumb enough to allow it cuz they think they'll get further. smh let em continue..
Comment by Hello Kitty on October 22, 2012 at 5:43pm If you're dumb enough to fly out to see an entertainer you barely know - and you don't expect to f*ck him - you're dumb enough to get left without a flight home. Sorry.
Comment by Hello Kitty on October 22, 2012 at 5:47pm PREACH @ California - no time for this basic s***. If they don't know, they'll never know.
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