Did Iyanla Vanzant Slut Shame A Rape Victim By Calling Her A "Ho"

Last week Iyanla Vanzant traveled to San Antonio, Texas to speak with two sisters, Barbara and Geneva, who's traumatizing childhood strained their relationship. Barbara grew up affluently with her aunt and uncle. Geneva was raised by their mother in poverty and had her first child at 14.

 

When Barbara turned 17 she invited her sister Geneva to come live with her. While living with her, Barbara found out Geneva was sleeping with her boyfriend, who would later father 2 of Geneva's children. This further strained the two's relationship. Geneva says she was raped by Barbara's boyfriend and when she told her sister, Barbara didn't believe her. Iyanla asked Geneva “Did her boyfriend give you money to lay up with him?” and when Geneva answered “Yes,” a disappointed Iyanla yelled, “Y’all were hoeing!”

 

she admitted that sometimes she was given money to sleep with him Iyanla responded "You were hoeing!"

 

Was she truly hoeing or was this simply a complicated sexual assault? Should Iyanla really be fixing anyone's life? Watch a clip of the show below.

 

Views: 1976

Comment by Sissy on December 15, 2013 at 12:44pm

I'm going to need Iyanla to have a damn seat.  This woman obviously has deep rooted issues with men, sex, relationships...she's f***** up.  Screaming "you were hoe-in" is NOT how you handle this.  I would've been ready to go upside her head

Comment by TheLadyJosephine on December 15, 2013 at 1:01pm

She didn't call her a hoe.  She clarified the behavior and called thing by it's proper name.  When asked what did your sister teach you, the woman said do what you have to do to survive, blah, blah, blah which when Iyanla dug further was essentially hoeing.  Never dismissed the fact that is was statutory rape.  She's the one who acknowledged it.  She did however make her face what her behavior turned into.  

Comment by BettyBoop on December 15, 2013 at 4:19pm

I'm with Sissy on this one. Iyanla should stick with life couching and leave the deep traumatic psychological talks to the experts. There was no breakthrough here. Only shame for what the teenager did at that time. Clearly there are some deep rooted issues with Geneva (maybe even pre-dating her first child). I would have had more respect for Iyanla if she got the woman some real help.

Comment by Iamshe! on December 15, 2013 at 5:43pm

I'm sorry but this woman was in fact hoeing. Did she have a hard childhood? Yes! Was Iyanla wrong for telling her the truth? NO! Most women who are raped do not go live with the man and have another child by him. I went to school for this and I work around women like this all the time and they need to hear the truth. She did not call her a hoe, she said the activities she was participating in had a name. This woman had another child with this man afterwards which clearly means there is more to the story than this he touch me crap. If she would have CALLED her a hoe for the man touching her or being raped than I would understand the outrage. A lot of people think that a psychologist or therapist job is to baby and sugar coat ppl but it is not.  A lot of time it is to bring your clients or victims to realizations and showing them how such entities have shaped their lives and ways to actively cope with the situation and break the cycle. What happened to this woman was sad and wrong, it was the same amount of sad and wrong when it happened to me and others but using this as an excuse to live a life full of sorrow, excuses, and pain is on you... She needed to hear that just because something bad happened to you, it does not excuse your behavior. We may understand and sympathize, but your actions and decisions are still "YOURS".

Comment by V on December 15, 2013 at 6:21pm

Iyanla said the chick was hoe-ing, cuz she WAS!!! Yes, that whole family is clearly dysfunctional and he should have been brought up on charges. But he wasn't: the fact is, this chick looked the other way as she accepted his gifts and his money in lieu of being raped. That DOES mean that she was hoe-ing. Yes, her older sister should have protected her & paid closer attention to what was going on. But at the same time when is a person responsible for their own for decisions? Iyanla was sympathetic towards her until she started describing all the things he bought her and how she has the latest fads when it was time for her to go to school. She was either pregnant or had just had a baby when she moved in with her sister-at 14. So dude knew she was sexually active & he exploited the situation. Then she had not 1, but 2 kids by him. Please-a mistake happens once. You don't KEEP going back to the well. There was nothing going on in that situation that a few calls to 911 couldn't fix. And if the authorities didn't help, hot grits, 

hot oil, a hot iron or strategically-placed crazy glue would have done the trick.

Comment by JustMe on December 15, 2013 at 7:00pm
Does Iyanla hold any degrees or certifications?????????
Comment by Ginger McKenna on December 15, 2013 at 7:44pm

I do not care for Iyanla in the slightest and stuff like this is the reason why. She is not a train therapist and isn't qualified to deal with the type of issues she counsels people on. She is full of BS, piled high and deep.

Comment by Nene2 Live on December 15, 2013 at 8:11pm

~clearly she had relationship with sisters dude or their dude, and all the other stuff like.."like if you don't have no money i'm not laying down with u" is clearly hoen'...like wtf.

sn; agreed iyanla need have seats and full of ish, piled high but oprah is her friend*shrugs*

Comment by Brittany on December 15, 2013 at 10:32pm
Girl please...anybody claiming they dnt care for iyanla obviously dnt care for the truth bein thrown at them and having to own up to their own damn actions regardless the situation. Saying she not certified...PUHLEEZE theirs soo many pastors n ministers that didn't go to school but are AWESOME spiritual guiders!! Check her resume boo boo she is just as certified to lend advice as a BLOGGER is to create and post good blogs.
Comment by Ginger McKenna on December 16, 2013 at 12:16am

@Brittany, a lot of the issues she tries to counsel are issues that need to be counseled by PROFESSIONAL counsels i.e. drug addicts such as DMX and some times she is too hostile towards the people she is supposed to be helping. I have no problem with her being a spiritual guidance but blaming or shaming a rape victim is over the line. This woman was brave enough to seek help and guidance for her situation and to be blamed and shamed is not cool in the slightest. Anybody can some up with cute and "deep" motivational quotes and adages but those quotes aren't going to help deep mental trauma. Of course, this is just my personal opinion. With that being said I have seen her help some people but at the end of the day it still doesn't change my opinion. I still reflect on how she diva'ed out on Oprah back in the day and then got egg all over her face and found herself crawling back to Oprah for relevancy. 

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