Fake Weed Leads NY Jets' Kellen Winslow To Jail For Masturbating In A Target Parking Lot

On November 19th, Kellen Winslow was arrested for possession of synthetic marijuana. We already knew that. What we did not know were the details surrounding his arrest. It involves the search for Boston Market, a lot of Vaseline and Winslow wanking off in a Target parking lot. Reason #43985739 why marijuana should be legal in all states.

Via CBS Sports

"As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was," the report reads. "As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account."

When cops arrived on the scene, they asked Winslow what he was doing and he allegedly told them he was looking for a Boston Market.

The cops said that Winslow had his pants on by the time they found him, although he did apparently have "two open containers of Vaseline on his center console."

Winslow also had, according to the police, empty plastic containers of "Funky Monkey" and empty bags of "Mr. Happy."

No, this doesn't relate to his "Boston Market excursion." Those are the forms of synthetic marijuana that Winslow was allegedly in possession of; he also allegedly told police that he purchased it from gas stations and on the Internet and smoked it because the NFL doesn't test for it.

Don't do drugs, kids. Unless of course it's from Mother Earth.

Views: 1664

Comment by DJ - A.K.A - DON_JUAN on January 17, 2014 at 4:39pm

lol say what now!?!?!?! O_o

so he went to meet a chick and was beating his d*** when she walked up to the truck?? lmao wow

Comment by MsPretty92 on January 17, 2014 at 5:19pm
My freak ass probably would of sat there and watched smh
Comment by GoalDigging on January 17, 2014 at 7:45pm
I would've recorded him.
Comment by TawnyBaby on January 17, 2014 at 9:23pm
Well....
Comment by Empowered Woman aka $picey on January 17, 2014 at 10:37pm

lmao @ E8, u found a pic of him sitting in ice lol



Comment by Carla Jenkins on January 18, 2014 at 11:26am

The weed (fake or real), jerking off in the parking lot and the lady walking by when all she wants is something from Target is too much. I think that drugs made Kellen do this!

Regarding the whole drug disclaimer, cocaine comes from Mother Earth too and it's dangerous. All the more reason to just say no!

Comment by Bri on January 18, 2014 at 12:09pm
I had this happen to me in college. I was walking to a store and this dude asked me for directions somewhere and when i looked at him he hashis d*** out and a magazine propped up it was disgusting. Then a couple days later same dude different car did it to me again. I called the cops but of course they never caught him.
Comment by SoLuscious on January 18, 2014 at 1:24pm
This must be dumb ballers week.

Comment

You need to be a member of Baller Alert.com to add comments!

Join Baller Alert.com

ADVERTISEMENT

Ballerific Events

Connect


BallerBoards

Super Bowl tickets

Started by Bri in Talk Ish 1 hour ago. 0 Replies

if any of my BA family knows a hookup please hit me up. I Am willing to payi justwnt to be there Supporting my hawks

50 Cent Goes In On His Ex Tatted Up Holly & She Fires Back, Meek and Trey Join In

Started by RubyWoo in Talk Ish. Last reply by Empowered Woman aka $picey 6 hours ago. 3 Replies

50 posted this pic of his ex…Continue

Ballerific Question of the Day: Your Significant Other's Friends of the Opposite Sex

Started by RubyWoo in Talk Ish. Last reply by Empowered Woman aka $picey 6 hours ago. 7 Replies

And conversely, for the men...…Continue

Any ladies living in Atlanta??? Let's link up!

Started by Jay Dot in Talk Ish 17 hours ago. 0 Replies

Hey ladies, I'm trying to hang out with some high class, fun women like myself haha. No, but seriously...all my friends in ATL are either prudes or are okay with dating broke dudes.I know, my friends…Continue

Tags: up, classy, upscale, turn, meetup

Latest Activity

Bri posted a discussion

Super Bowl tickets

if any of my BA family knows a hookup please hit me up. I Am willing to payi justwnt to be there…See More
1 hour ago
2Body commented on Baller Alert's blog post Personal Blog - How I Got Started... and How I Keep Going
"Highly inspiring. Authentic ground up knowledge."
1 hour ago
2Body liked Baller Alert's blog post Personal Blog - How I Got Started... and How I Keep Going
1 hour ago
2Body is now friends with nymoneychaser and CrownRoyal
2 hours ago
desiree commented on Eleven8's blog post Future's DJ Esco Details His 56 Days In A Dubai Prison & How He Got There
"Damn!!!!!!! Ooh wee they do not play over there-I feel so sorry for that old man who stole the…"
3 hours ago
SoLuscious commented on Eleven8's blog post K. Michelle Breaks It Off With Bobby Maze, Says He's Fame Hungry, Bobby Maze Nudes Leak (PHOTO)
"She seems like the toxic denominater in all of her relationships. It would be nice if her response…"
3 hours ago
SoLuscious commented on Eleven8's blog post Suge Knight Turns Himself In After Deadly Clash On "Straight Outta Compton" Set
"Sigh......."
3 hours ago
Inc commented on RubyWoo's blog post Baller Alert's Top 10 Fine Azz NFL Ballers of Super Bowl XLIX
"Marshawn Lynch should definitely be on the list, I need that in my life!!!!"
4 hours ago
EmpressSoDivine liked Milagros Reyes's blog post Ballerific Relationships - To Date A Single Father or Not? By: @milagreee
4 hours ago
Sean updated their profile
4 hours ago
Life's Journey commented on A.Sharp's blog post Ballerific Relationships: But Will He Accept My Past? - Blogged By: A_SheWrites
"I didn't read the article... Just going off of the title... I can look past pretty much…"
5 hours ago
CoolWithA_K posted blog posts
5 hours ago

© 2015   Created by Baller Alert.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

Offline

Live Video