Fake Weed Leads NY Jets' Kellen Winslow To Jail For Masturbating In A Target Parking Lot

On November 19th, Kellen Winslow was arrested for possession of synthetic marijuana. We already knew that. What we did not know were the details surrounding his arrest. It involves the search for Boston Market, a lot of Vaseline and Winslow wanking off in a Target parking lot. Reason #43985739 why marijuana should be legal in all states.

Via CBS Sports

"As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was," the report reads. "As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account."

When cops arrived on the scene, they asked Winslow what he was doing and he allegedly told them he was looking for a Boston Market.

The cops said that Winslow had his pants on by the time they found him, although he did apparently have "two open containers of Vaseline on his center console."

Winslow also had, according to the police, empty plastic containers of "Funky Monkey" and empty bags of "Mr. Happy."

No, this doesn't relate to his "Boston Market excursion." Those are the forms of synthetic marijuana that Winslow was allegedly in possession of; he also allegedly told police that he purchased it from gas stations and on the Internet and smoked it because the NFL doesn't test for it.

Don't do drugs, kids. Unless of course it's from Mother Earth.

Views: 1638

Comment by DJ - A.K.A - DON_JUAN on January 17, 2014 at 4:39pm

lol say what now!?!?!?! O_o

so he went to meet a chick and was beating his d*** when she walked up to the truck?? lmao wow

Comment by MsPretty92 on January 17, 2014 at 5:19pm
My freak ass probably would of sat there and watched smh
Comment by GoalDigging on January 17, 2014 at 7:45pm
I would've recorded him.
Comment by TawnBaby on January 17, 2014 at 9:23pm
Well....
Comment by Busy Signal aka $picey on January 17, 2014 at 10:37pm

lmao @ E8, u found a pic of him sitting in ice lol



Comment by Carla Jenkins on January 18, 2014 at 11:26am

The weed (fake or real), jerking off in the parking lot and the lady walking by when all she wants is something from Target is too much. I think that drugs made Kellen do this!

Regarding the whole drug disclaimer, cocaine comes from Mother Earth too and it's dangerous. All the more reason to just say no!

Comment by Bri on January 18, 2014 at 12:09pm
I had this happen to me in college. I was walking to a store and this dude asked me for directions somewhere and when i looked at him he hashis d*** out and a magazine propped up it was disgusting. Then a couple days later same dude different car did it to me again. I called the cops but of course they never caught him.
Comment by SoLuscious on January 18, 2014 at 1:24pm
This must be dumb ballers week.

Comment

You need to be a member of Baller Alert.com to add comments!

Join Baller Alert.com

ADVERTISEMENT

Connect


BallerBoards

Job Alert! - Open Call for Ace of Diamonds Gentlemen's Club

Started by RubyWoo in Talk Ish 7 hours ago. 0 Replies

Ace of Diamonds, the brand new…Continue

No, I don't want sex...

Started by Formally Known as Ginger in Talk Ish. Last reply by Beautiful Brownie 7 hours ago. 2 Replies

Am I the only person that still believes that "chillin'" means talking, watching TV, etc not f--cking? Like these days I don't even feel comfortable inviting a guy over to my crib for fear he will…Continue

Florida Woman Caught Stealing Liquor by Hiding It Up Her You-Know-What

Started by RubyWoo in Talk Ish. Last reply by Beautiful Brownie 13 hours ago. 4 Replies

A Florida woman was caught on…Continue

Mother of 3 Killed

Started by XXXXXX in Talk Ish. Last reply by Sandy Cheeks 15 hours ago. 4 Replies

Things in this country are getting worse and worse. Not sure if anybody heard of this heartbreaking story, but a young lady by the name of Mary "Unique" Spears, mother of 3, was intentionally gunned…Continue

Latest Activity

SoLuscious commented on Niko Rose's blog post August Alsina Keeps "Grindin" (New Video) - by @niksofly
"i love his lips."
19 minutes ago
RubyWoo posted events
7 hours ago
RubyWoo posted discussions
7 hours ago
Beautiful Brownie replied to Formally Known as Ginger's discussion No, I don't want sex...
"I'm the same way."
7 hours ago
Nasharra replied to Formally Known as Ginger's discussion No, I don't want sex...
"No you are not the only one ... like I wanna get to know each other first ... Lol"
8 hours ago
Formally Known as Ginger commented on Eleven8's blog post Karlos Williams Pregnant Girlfriend Says He Abused Her, Will Not Cooperate With Investigation
"I try not to judge DV victims excuse me survivors but some times I just sent back and wonder. Like…"
9 hours ago
Formally Known as Ginger posted a discussion

No, I don't want sex...

Am I the only person that still believes that "chillin'" means talking, watching TV, etc not…See More
9 hours ago
Formally Known as Ginger commented on Niko Rose's blog post August Alsina Keeps "Grindin" (New Video) - by @niksofly
"I'm glad to see him back out doing what he loves. Because his condition was much more serious…"
9 hours ago
Formally Known as Ginger commented on Asimplebijou's blog post Morning Wood: Joe Manganiello (Actor)
"He is gorg I was so sad about his departure from True Blood. But the last season sucked."
9 hours ago
BadgalCi liked Niko Rose's blog post August Alsina Keeps "Grindin" (New Video) - by @niksofly
10 hours ago
vanika laws might attend RubyWoo's event
Thumbnail

Miami - Chris Brown @ Liv 10/26 at Liv

October 26, 2014 at 11pm to October 27, 2014 at 5am
11 hours ago
Asimplebijou commented on Niko Rose's blog post August Alsina Keeps "Grindin" (New Video) - by @niksofly
"very proud and happy for him"
11 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Baller Alert.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

Offline

Live Video