How Do You Tell Him "I Just Want To Stop Working"

I have dreams, and those dreams do not consist of me sitting behind someones desk, in a cubicle, taking orders from some bitter old man on salary who hates coming to work as much as I do. How do you break it to your Baller that you don't want to work any longer without having him think you're a gold digger?

 

It seems that every Baller has a pre-conceived notion that if a woman talks to him, she's after his money. And rightfully so. I'm sure there are many women out there for solely those reasons. But when he has a good girl in front of him, he's stood the tests of time, in the back of his mind he probably thinks she's a gold digger too. So you can only imagine how he begins to act when she says, I want to quit working and she's absolutely serious.

 

The first thing that will probably come out of his mouth is "What do you mean you want to stop working?" so it's important that you make things very clear and very simple. As women we think about things in a completely different way than men. Our thoughts are more broad and drawn out, while theres are a lot more straight to the point. This is where it comes in handy to think like a man. You don't want him to think that you no longer want to work solely on the fact that he can and should provide for you. Beginning your answer with a guilt trip like "This just wasn't how I envisioned my life in my late 20's...." is a great way to start. No one wants to feel like they've kept you from following your dreams so this is a great way to break the ice. You also want to make sure you are very clear and precise without talking too much. Men tend to tune out after 5 minutes or so. It's best to make your point long before then. 

 

Most men just need reassurance. Let him know that you're not doing this because you're lazy and don't like to work but that it's just not the dream you had. Let him know your career goals and hopefully he'll stand by your side to make them happen. If he has the means of helping, most of the time he will. Now, if you decide to take your newfound time off and actually use it to start your own business, that's great and he'll see you as the awesome entrepreneur that you are. If you DON'T, at least you can tell him that all the other basketball wives don't work and their man isn't complaining! 

Views: 1260

Tags: relationships, working

Comment by Creative Bee on September 12, 2011 at 3:16pm
We had this conversation and we agreed that I'll stop working when I have a baby, but i will continue my own business regardless. I would never want to just sit my butt at home and do nothing simply because I love what I do and I'd be doing it for free or as a hobby if I wouldn't need money.
Comment by Zaria 22 on September 13, 2011 at 12:03pm

I think many guys who make good money actually don't mind if the wife wants to stay home. Particularly if you have children. I think it just depends on how much he makes. Most guys will be uncomfortable with you staying home if he feels his income alone can't support you, him, the kids, and the family's lifestyle. I think it also depends on your purpose for staying home. If you plan to stay home to eat and watch TV all day, no man wants that. That's not productive for family growth. But if you plan to make being a housewife/stay at home Mom your priority, s*** that is a job in iteself! I'm sure a real man will respect a woman playing her position @ home.

Most guys I have dated understand that I do plan to stay home, or at least not work a traditional 9 to 5 job. I have goals for my own business that I would want to focus on.

Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on September 13, 2011 at 3:46pm

This is a great tip for groupies on the come up who lucked up and got a baller. Things I or another baller minded woman would already know, a groupie might not have the polish to realize.  Especially if they are new to the game.

 

Might I also add, that if you want to become the housewife, show him how good you would be about it given the chance. One of my old coworkers while home on maternity leave took care of the home so well her husband, not a baller then, was like damn I wish you didn't have to go back to work. She was like I know babe but we need both incomes. Long story short he got his ish together, got a new job making buckets, made her quit her job and moved her into a nice new home.  THAT is called inspiring your man to greatness.

Comment by DdoubleD on June 16, 2013 at 12:12pm

Thank you 11 for this post. I think the most important thing is telling a man upfront what you want for your life.  By no means am I dating a baller, but I am with a man who respects my wishes and will do anything to make me happy. 

In January I stopped working full time and took a part time so I can focus on my business.  In June I stopped working completely to focus on the company.  My man supports me 110% and works harder to make sure that everything is in order. 

The moral of the story a man who really loves you wants whats best for you.  Just because you don’t go to work doesn’t you aren’t contributing.  For instance, instead of working you can focus on something else like managing investment properties, budgeting, running your home, etc.

Comment by BeautyandBrains on June 16, 2013 at 1:40pm
I hated my retail job b/c of it being a hostile work environment and told my sd just that.I also let him know I wanted to put all my energy into my education as well as traveling w/him during weekends...it worked like a charm.
Comment by Bonita on June 16, 2013 at 11:40pm

I have been upfront with every guy that if we get married and have children, I would have to stay home with them for a few years. I want to option to work part time or have a business but still be very active in their early childhood. Most guys seem fine with it 

Comment by Bonita on June 16, 2013 at 11:41pm

@DdoubleD agree with every thing 

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