How Do You Tell Him "I Just Want To Stop Working"

I have dreams, and those dreams do not consist of me sitting behind someones desk, in a cubicle, taking orders from some bitter old man on salary who hates coming to work as much as I do. How do you break it to your Baller that you don't want to work any longer without having him think you're a gold digger?

 

It seems that every Baller has a pre-conceived notion that if a woman talks to him, she's after his money. And rightfully so. I'm sure there are many women out there for solely those reasons. But when he has a good girl in front of him, he's stood the tests of time, in the back of his mind he probably thinks she's a gold digger too. So you can only imagine how he begins to act when she says, I want to quit working and she's absolutely serious.

 

The first thing that will probably come out of his mouth is "What do you mean you want to stop working?" so it's important that you make things very clear and very simple. As women we think about things in a completely different way than men. Our thoughts are more broad and drawn out, while theres are a lot more straight to the point. This is where it comes in handy to think like a man. You don't want him to think that you no longer want to work solely on the fact that he can and should provide for you. Beginning your answer with a guilt trip like "This just wasn't how I envisioned my life in my late 20's...." is a great way to start. No one wants to feel like they've kept you from following your dreams so this is a great way to break the ice. You also want to make sure you are very clear and precise without talking too much. Men tend to tune out after 5 minutes or so. It's best to make your point long before then. 

 

Most men just need reassurance. Let him know that you're not doing this because you're lazy and don't like to work but that it's just not the dream you had. Let him know your career goals and hopefully he'll stand by your side to make them happen. If he has the means of helping, most of the time he will. Now, if you decide to take your newfound time off and actually use it to start your own business, that's great and he'll see you as the awesome entrepreneur that you are. If you DON'T, at least you can tell him that all the other basketball wives don't work and their man isn't complaining! 

Views: 1216

Tags: relationships, working

Comment by Creative Bee on September 12, 2011 at 3:16pm
We had this conversation and we agreed that I'll stop working when I have a baby, but i will continue my own business regardless. I would never want to just sit my butt at home and do nothing simply because I love what I do and I'd be doing it for free or as a hobby if I wouldn't need money.
Comment by Zaria 22 on September 13, 2011 at 12:03pm

I think many guys who make good money actually don't mind if the wife wants to stay home. Particularly if you have children. I think it just depends on how much he makes. Most guys will be uncomfortable with you staying home if he feels his income alone can't support you, him, the kids, and the family's lifestyle. I think it also depends on your purpose for staying home. If you plan to stay home to eat and watch TV all day, no man wants that. That's not productive for family growth. But if you plan to make being a housewife/stay at home Mom your priority, s*** that is a job in iteself! I'm sure a real man will respect a woman playing her position @ home.

Most guys I have dated understand that I do plan to stay home, or at least not work a traditional 9 to 5 job. I have goals for my own business that I would want to focus on.

Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on September 13, 2011 at 3:46pm

This is a great tip for groupies on the come up who lucked up and got a baller. Things I or another baller minded woman would already know, a groupie might not have the polish to realize.  Especially if they are new to the game.

 

Might I also add, that if you want to become the housewife, show him how good you would be about it given the chance. One of my old coworkers while home on maternity leave took care of the home so well her husband, not a baller then, was like damn I wish you didn't have to go back to work. She was like I know babe but we need both incomes. Long story short he got his ish together, got a new job making buckets, made her quit her job and moved her into a nice new home.  THAT is called inspiring your man to greatness.

Comment by DdoubleD on June 16, 2013 at 12:12pm

Thank you 11 for this post. I think the most important thing is telling a man upfront what you want for your life.  By no means am I dating a baller, but I am with a man who respects my wishes and will do anything to make me happy. 

In January I stopped working full time and took a part time so I can focus on my business.  In June I stopped working completely to focus on the company.  My man supports me 110% and works harder to make sure that everything is in order. 

The moral of the story a man who really loves you wants whats best for you.  Just because you don’t go to work doesn’t you aren’t contributing.  For instance, instead of working you can focus on something else like managing investment properties, budgeting, running your home, etc.

Comment by BeautyandBrains on June 16, 2013 at 1:40pm
I hated my retail job b/c of it being a hostile work environment and told my sd just that.I also let him know I wanted to put all my energy into my education as well as traveling w/him during weekends...it worked like a charm.
Comment by Bonita on June 16, 2013 at 11:40pm

I have been upfront with every guy that if we get married and have children, I would have to stay home with them for a few years. I want to option to work part time or have a business but still be very active in their early childhood. Most guys seem fine with it 

Comment by Bonita on June 16, 2013 at 11:41pm

@DdoubleD agree with every thing 

Comment

You need to be a member of Baller Alert.com to add comments!

Join Baller Alert.com

ADVERTISEMENT

Connect


BallerBoards

Why are single moms shamed but single fathers are praised?

Started by Felisha Johnson in Talk Ish. Last reply by University of Smitty 4 hours ago. 28 Replies

Anyone noticed that, doesn't matter race it's just in general. Anyone been on social media and see the flooding of pics with father single one's and all and it be met with praise, admiration and joy?…Continue

Maca Root for Energy

Started by SMSLove in Talk Ish. Last reply by SweetGaPeach 11 hours ago. 13 Replies

Good Morning Ladies,I’ve been reading about Maca Root and they say it gives you energy. Those of you that’s tried it, did it boost your energy? They also say it makes you happy.I work 12 hour days, a…Continue

Best Celebrity Sex Tape???

Started by SMSLove in Talk Ish. Last reply by Sheli 13 hours ago. 3 Replies

Who has the best sex tape? Who would you like to see in one? Tommy and Pam still hold the title for me. I would love to see a Rihanna or Amber Rose sex tape....Continue

Tags: sextape

Need Advice

Started by DC but I Travel in Talk Ish 15 hours ago. 0 Replies

I am extremely new to this. I have vacations setup for this summer: Chicago, LA, NYC, Miami, Toronto, and one carribean spot. No, I don't have it like that. I make decent money and I consider it an…Continue

Tags: new, LA, Miami, Chicago

Latest Activity

selfmade updated their profile
56 minutes ago
Mama Dragon Slayer Puss commented on Peachkyss's blog post Baller Alert's Hit or Miss: Rita Ora's NYC Jean Paul Gaultier Spring 2014 One Sleeved Leather Jacket, Collared Lace Top, Leather Shorts, and Giuseppe Zanotti Gladiator Sandals:
"Rita's hair and face...NO....loves the sandals tho"
2 hours ago
Mama Dragon Slayer Puss commented on Peachkyss's blog post Ballerific Fashion: Brandy Norwood's Watch What Happens Live Fendi Interccio Pattern Leather Jacket, Fendi Printed Silk Tapered Pants, and Giuseppe Sandals
"She looks great here and I love her hair!"
2 hours ago
Peachkyss posted blog posts
3 hours ago
Peachkyss's 3 blog posts were featured
3 hours ago
Profile Iconyolanda edwards, Princess watkins, neena and 42 more joined Baller Alert.com
3 hours ago
B Thang commented on Eleven8's blog post In Who Asked News: LHHNY's Erica Jean Wants You To Know She Does Not Have A Sex Tape
"Get that paycheck Iyanla lol!"
4 hours ago
University of Smitty replied to Felisha Johnson's discussion Why are single moms shamed but single fathers are praised?
"I disagree.  I'm not saying that all men who walk away weren't in love.  What…"
4 hours ago
Eleven8 commented on Eleven8's blog post Houston Texans Fan Finally Gets A Pic With The Real Arian Foster
"Arian got her number so I'm sure he's chopping her down as we speak"
5 hours ago
Eleven8 commented on Eleven8's blog post In Who Asked News: LHHNY's Erica Jean Wants You To Know She Does Not Have A Sex Tape
"I was giving Iyanla the benefit of the doubt until I realized she just does a lot of angry ass…"
5 hours ago
Eleven8 replied to Felisha Johnson's discussion Why are single moms shamed but single fathers are praised?
"Men don't only take care of kids who's mother they truly loved. Some men can love you to…"
5 hours ago
Tone © replied to Felisha Johnson's discussion Why are single moms shamed but single fathers are praised?
"Men see single mothers as burdens while women see single fathers as family men."
6 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Baller Alert.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

Offline

Live Video