If I Were A Boy


This subject came to my mind a few days ago so I wanted to turn it into a blog. Ladies, if you could be a guy for one day, what would you do? Would you act like the typical guy or would you try to change the male species for the better? Well here's a list of some things I would od if I were given the opportunity. Some are just jokes, most are completely serious :)


If I were a boy I'd sleep with as many women as I wanted and wake up with itchy balls disease the next day...


If I were a boy I'd pimp every woman who was willing to give me money until she turns around and tells me she's pregnant. Then I'll just run like the wind...


If I were a boy I'd be the man of the house until I lose my job, then I'll have to listen to my chick naggin' at me. Listen woman! Maybe I don't want to get my lazy ass up today! Did you ever consider that!!! DAMN! You're so selfish!

If I were a boy I'd make excuses for why things aren't going right in my life. It has nothing to do with me being irresponsible. Society just wasn't built for a black man.

If I were a boy I'd get rich and get me a white girl. Then I'd make up dumb excuses for my decision by saying "black women don't appreciate me" or "black women are too loud and abrasive!"

If I were a boy I'd be absolutely terrified of gay men. I mean, I'm me. If they're looking at me they HAVE to want me. And if they don't want me I'll be offended. I'm sexy!

• If I were a boy I'd probably cheat on you and find a way to make it your fault. You should have loved me better. The sex was wack. You nag too much. Whatever the case, it's not my fault.

• If I were a boy I'd walk around without a shirt and with my pants sagging to my knees and be real mad when the cops stop me and treat me like a criminal. I mean, how am I gonna act like there's not a such thing as profiling?

• If I were a boy
I'd slap me a few women cuz they deserved it! I told her ass to eat the cake and now I'm sitting in a jail cell with a big n-gga thats threatening to trade my booty for cigarettes.


• If I were a boy
I'd buy flashy jewelry and cars, not because I can afford it, but because I want to stunt and look like I have a lot of money. In actuality, I live out of this car and every other Tuesday the battery dies.


• If I were a boy
I'd pick fights with every dude, and call every chick a b**** when she won't give me none because my feelings are hurt and the only way I know how to react is to act macho. I probably need therapy...


• If I were a boy
I'd NEVER pay child support and rarely support my kids because I'm a boy...not a MAN dammit!

I take it back, I'm kinda glad I'm a woman :)

Views: 45

Tags: if i were a boy

Comment by Ordinary G on November 18, 2010 at 9:21am
Wow, didnt expect this to be so angry
Comment by Sheli on November 18, 2010 at 9:40am
If I were a boy...I'd sit for hours with my hands down my pants, (I see dudes do it, so it must be relaxing or something)
If I were a boy...I'd play Madden for HOURS, because as a female I don't understand the seriousness of it.
If I were a boy....I'd smack another dude on the butt and say "Good Game"
If I were a boy....I'd take pics of my ding-a-ling and send it to all my hoes (cause my PENIS would be HUGE!!!)
If I were a boy... I'd have sex with and without a condom to see if I can tell the difference.
If I were a boy...I'd have sex with an ugly girl and say "but dawg, she got a big ass though" LOL
If I were a boy...I'd do the "smell test"
If I were a boy....I'd get some head, from 2 chicks at once!!!!
If I were a boy...I buy some 26 rims and put them on my Monte Carlo or Impala, just because I can :-)
This is my EVIL one....If I were a boy... (does this mean boys are girls because if so...) I'd go take a no-doze and red bull (cause I'm going to use ALL 24 hours) I have a list of about 12 dudes I would phuck, give an STD, and get pregnant and then leave their ass with a wet, burning coochie and empty pockets. Just those 12 though :-)

**DISCLAIMER: This hasn't happened to me, but I know some trifling dudes, so it'll be pay back for the women they've wronged** :-)

(I'll be back with more...)
Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on November 18, 2010 at 1:25pm
@Sheli *dead and buried*
Comment by Baller Alert on November 18, 2010 at 1:28pm
If I were a boy I would beat the s*** out of all the men that have done women wrong...
Comment by Coco Black on November 18, 2010 at 3:01pm
I'd f*** all the hoes!!! hahahahah
Comment by Zaria 22 on November 18, 2010 at 8:25pm
I would f*** every girl in the world to see what it is they feel...
Comment by mecca on November 20, 2010 at 1:53pm
I would flirt with the guys I talk to while I was a girl and see if they were on the DL!

Comment

You need to be a member of Baller Alert.com to add comments!

Join Baller Alert.com

\\\\\\\ADVERTISEMENT

Connect


BallerBoards

No, I don't want sex...

Started by Formally Known as Ginger in Talk Ish. Last reply by XXXXXX 5 hours ago. 4 Replies

Am I the only person that still believes that "chillin'" means talking, watching TV, etc not f--cking? Like these days I don't even feel comfortable inviting a guy over to my crib for fear he will…Continue

Meet Koi Knowles, Mathew Knowles' Child with Latest Baby Mama

Started by RubyWoo in Talk Ish. Last reply by Ashley T 6 hours ago. 2 Replies

After a DNA test proved that…Continue

The Dream Shares His Wedding Photos

Started by RubyWoo in Talk Ish 16 hours ago. 0 Replies

The Dream got married for a third…Continue

Florida Woman Caught Stealing Liquor by Hiding It Up Her You-Know-What

Started by RubyWoo in Talk Ish. Last reply by V 16 hours ago. 5 Replies

A Florida woman was caught on…Continue

Latest Activity

Peachkyss posted a blog post
2 hours ago
Peachkyss's blog post was featured
2 hours ago
aleah updated their profile
2 hours ago
Nicole commented on Eleven8's blog post Bad Girls Club Star Mehgan James Joins Basketball Wives LA
"This should be interesting. Meghan not scared of nobody. Jackie watch out!"
4 hours ago
V commented on Milagros Reyes's blog post The Eyes Are The Window To The Soul By: @milagreee
"This is a great article and I agree with its sentiments. It doesn't take much to be able to…"
4 hours ago
XXXXXX replied to Formally Known as Ginger's discussion No, I don't want sex...
"I think the magic days of trying to get to know somebody are kinda over... Back in the 80s and…"
5 hours ago
XXXXXX replied to Formally Known as Ginger's discussion No, I don't want sex...
"I hear you... I met a woman (she's 38) that I took out on dates and was communicating back and…"
5 hours ago
Ashley T replied to RubyWoo's discussion Meet Koi Knowles, Mathew Knowles' Child with Latest Baby Mama
"She is pretty. Of course she would sing and dance like her big sister. Bey not going for that lol"
6 hours ago
Sandy Cheeks commented on Eleven8's blog post Bad Girls Club Star Mehgan James Joins Basketball Wives LA
"The show shouldn't be called basketball wives seeing that none of them are married to…"
7 hours ago
RubyWoo's 3 events were featured
8 hours ago
RubyWoo posted events
8 hours ago
Carla Jenkins commented on Eleven8's blog post Bad Girls Club Star Mehgan James Joins Basketball Wives LA
"What's the tea between her and Brittish? We need the full backstory before watching the new…"
9 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Baller Alert.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

Offline

Live Video