If I Were A Boy


This subject came to my mind a few days ago so I wanted to turn it into a blog. Ladies, if you could be a guy for one day, what would you do? Would you act like the typical guy or would you try to change the male species for the better? Well here's a list of some things I would od if I were given the opportunity. Some are just jokes, most are completely serious :)


If I were a boy I'd sleep with as many women as I wanted and wake up with itchy balls disease the next day...


If I were a boy I'd pimp every woman who was willing to give me money until she turns around and tells me she's pregnant. Then I'll just run like the wind...


If I were a boy I'd be the man of the house until I lose my job, then I'll have to listen to my chick naggin' at me. Listen woman! Maybe I don't want to get my lazy ass up today! Did you ever consider that!!! DAMN! You're so selfish!

If I were a boy I'd make excuses for why things aren't going right in my life. It has nothing to do with me being irresponsible. Society just wasn't built for a black man.

If I were a boy I'd get rich and get me a white girl. Then I'd make up dumb excuses for my decision by saying "black women don't appreciate me" or "black women are too loud and abrasive!"

If I were a boy I'd be absolutely terrified of gay men. I mean, I'm me. If they're looking at me they HAVE to want me. And if they don't want me I'll be offended. I'm sexy!

• If I were a boy I'd probably cheat on you and find a way to make it your fault. You should have loved me better. The sex was wack. You nag too much. Whatever the case, it's not my fault.

• If I were a boy I'd walk around without a shirt and with my pants sagging to my knees and be real mad when the cops stop me and treat me like a criminal. I mean, how am I gonna act like there's not a such thing as profiling?

• If I were a boy
I'd slap me a few women cuz they deserved it! I told her ass to eat the cake and now I'm sitting in a jail cell with a big n-gga thats threatening to trade my booty for cigarettes.


• If I were a boy
I'd buy flashy jewelry and cars, not because I can afford it, but because I want to stunt and look like I have a lot of money. In actuality, I live out of this car and every other Tuesday the battery dies.


• If I were a boy
I'd pick fights with every dude, and call every chick a b**** when she won't give me none because my feelings are hurt and the only way I know how to react is to act macho. I probably need therapy...


• If I were a boy
I'd NEVER pay child support and rarely support my kids because I'm a boy...not a MAN dammit!

I take it back, I'm kinda glad I'm a woman :)

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Tags: if i were a boy

Comment by Ordinary G on November 18, 2010 at 9:21am
Wow, didnt expect this to be so angry
Comment by Sheli on November 18, 2010 at 9:40am
If I were a boy...I'd sit for hours with my hands down my pants, (I see dudes do it, so it must be relaxing or something)
If I were a boy...I'd play Madden for HOURS, because as a female I don't understand the seriousness of it.
If I were a boy....I'd smack another dude on the butt and say "Good Game"
If I were a boy....I'd take pics of my ding-a-ling and send it to all my hoes (cause my PENIS would be HUGE!!!)
If I were a boy... I'd have sex with and without a condom to see if I can tell the difference.
If I were a boy...I'd have sex with an ugly girl and say "but dawg, she got a big ass though" LOL
If I were a boy...I'd do the "smell test"
If I were a boy....I'd get some head, from 2 chicks at once!!!!
If I were a boy...I buy some 26 rims and put them on my Monte Carlo or Impala, just because I can :-)
This is my EVIL one....If I were a boy... (does this mean boys are girls because if so...) I'd go take a no-doze and red bull (cause I'm going to use ALL 24 hours) I have a list of about 12 dudes I would phuck, give an STD, and get pregnant and then leave their ass with a wet, burning coochie and empty pockets. Just those 12 though :-)

**DISCLAIMER: This hasn't happened to me, but I know some trifling dudes, so it'll be pay back for the women they've wronged** :-)

(I'll be back with more...)
Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on November 18, 2010 at 1:25pm
@Sheli *dead and buried*
Comment by Baller Alert on November 18, 2010 at 1:28pm
If I were a boy I would beat the s*** out of all the men that have done women wrong...
Comment by Coco Black on November 18, 2010 at 3:01pm
I'd f*** all the hoes!!! hahahahah
Comment by Zaria 22 on November 18, 2010 at 8:25pm
I would f*** every girl in the world to see what it is they feel...
Comment by mecca on November 20, 2010 at 1:53pm
I would flirt with the guys I talk to while I was a girl and see if they were on the DL!

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