If I Were A Boy


This subject came to my mind a few days ago so I wanted to turn it into a blog. Ladies, if you could be a guy for one day, what would you do? Would you act like the typical guy or would you try to change the male species for the better? Well here's a list of some things I would od if I were given the opportunity. Some are just jokes, most are completely serious :)


If I were a boy I'd sleep with as many women as I wanted and wake up with itchy balls disease the next day...


If I were a boy I'd pimp every woman who was willing to give me money until she turns around and tells me she's pregnant. Then I'll just run like the wind...


If I were a boy I'd be the man of the house until I lose my job, then I'll have to listen to my chick naggin' at me. Listen woman! Maybe I don't want to get my lazy ass up today! Did you ever consider that!!! DAMN! You're so selfish!

If I were a boy I'd make excuses for why things aren't going right in my life. It has nothing to do with me being irresponsible. Society just wasn't built for a black man.

If I were a boy I'd get rich and get me a white girl. Then I'd make up dumb excuses for my decision by saying "black women don't appreciate me" or "black women are too loud and abrasive!"

If I were a boy I'd be absolutely terrified of gay men. I mean, I'm me. If they're looking at me they HAVE to want me. And if they don't want me I'll be offended. I'm sexy!

• If I were a boy I'd probably cheat on you and find a way to make it your fault. You should have loved me better. The sex was wack. You nag too much. Whatever the case, it's not my fault.

• If I were a boy I'd walk around without a shirt and with my pants sagging to my knees and be real mad when the cops stop me and treat me like a criminal. I mean, how am I gonna act like there's not a such thing as profiling?

• If I were a boy
I'd slap me a few women cuz they deserved it! I told her ass to eat the cake and now I'm sitting in a jail cell with a big n-gga thats threatening to trade my booty for cigarettes.


• If I were a boy
I'd buy flashy jewelry and cars, not because I can afford it, but because I want to stunt and look like I have a lot of money. In actuality, I live out of this car and every other Tuesday the battery dies.


• If I were a boy
I'd pick fights with every dude, and call every chick a b**** when she won't give me none because my feelings are hurt and the only way I know how to react is to act macho. I probably need therapy...


• If I were a boy
I'd NEVER pay child support and rarely support my kids because I'm a boy...not a MAN dammit!

I take it back, I'm kinda glad I'm a woman :)

Views: 57

Comment by Ordinary G on November 18, 2010 at 9:21am
Wow, didnt expect this to be so angry
Comment by Sheli on November 18, 2010 at 9:40am
If I were a boy...I'd sit for hours with my hands down my pants, (I see dudes do it, so it must be relaxing or something)
If I were a boy...I'd play Madden for HOURS, because as a female I don't understand the seriousness of it.
If I were a boy....I'd smack another dude on the butt and say "Good Game"
If I were a boy....I'd take pics of my ding-a-ling and send it to all my hoes (cause my PENIS would be HUGE!!!)
If I were a boy... I'd have sex with and without a condom to see if I can tell the difference.
If I were a boy...I'd have sex with an ugly girl and say "but dawg, she got a big ass though" LOL
If I were a boy...I'd do the "smell test"
If I were a boy....I'd get some head, from 2 chicks at once!!!!
If I were a boy...I buy some 26 rims and put them on my Monte Carlo or Impala, just because I can :-)
This is my EVIL one....If I were a boy... (does this mean boys are girls because if so...) I'd go take a no-doze and red bull (cause I'm going to use ALL 24 hours) I have a list of about 12 dudes I would phuck, give an STD, and get pregnant and then leave their ass with a wet, burning coochie and empty pockets. Just those 12 though :-)

**DISCLAIMER: This hasn't happened to me, but I know some trifling dudes, so it'll be pay back for the women they've wronged** :-)

(I'll be back with more...)
Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on November 18, 2010 at 1:25pm
@Sheli *dead and buried*
Comment by Baller Alert on November 18, 2010 at 1:28pm
If I were a boy I would beat the s*** out of all the men that have done women wrong...
Comment by Coco Black on November 18, 2010 at 3:01pm
I'd f*** all the hoes!!! hahahahah
Comment by Zaria 22 on November 18, 2010 at 8:25pm
I would f*** every girl in the world to see what it is they feel...
Comment by mecca on November 20, 2010 at 1:53pm
I would flirt with the guys I talk to while I was a girl and see if they were on the DL!

Comment

You need to be a member of Baller Alert.com to add comments!

Join Baller Alert.com

BallerBoards

Ryan Lochte Loses All Of His Endorsements

Started by Asimplebijou in Talk Ish. Last reply by SoLuscious 3 hours ago. 2 Replies

It doesn’t look like things are looking good for #RyanLochte after lying about being robbed at gunpoint in #Rio. Despite apologizing on social media and via an interview with #MattLauer, Lochte is…Continue

Kobe Bryant Is Launching A $100M Venture Capital Fund

Started by Asimplebijou in Talk Ish. Last reply by SoLuscious yesterday. 1 Reply

The #WallStreetJournal reports, today, #KobeBryant is launching a venture capital fund with investor #JeffStibel.The $100 million dollar fund will invest in media, data and technology companies. The…Continue

Paul Wall Offers ALL American Olympic Gold Medalist Free Gold Olympic Grillz

Started by Asimplebijou in Talk Ish yesterday. 0 Replies

Few things are better than winning an Olympic gold medal for your country. However, rapper #PaulWall has offered to put the icing on top for every #American athlete who won big in #Rio.According to…Continue

New Reports Reveal Prince’s Drugs Were Mislabeled

Started by Asimplebijou in Talk Ish yesterday. 0 Replies

According to #USWeekly, new information reveals that the drugs found in #Prince’s home after his death were mislabeled.An autopsy confirmed the pop icon accidentally overdosed on #fentanyl, however,…Continue

Latest Activity

Char Turner posted blog posts
9 minutes ago
Char Turner's 4 blog posts were featured
9 minutes ago
lawrence leal commented on Char Turner's blog post Leslie Jones Reportedly Hacked, Nude Photos Released - blogged by: @Chargotit
"smh lol  "
18 minutes ago
lawrence leal liked Char Turner's blog post Leslie Jones Reportedly Hacked, Nude Photos Released - blogged by: @Chargotit
18 minutes ago
MsJennyb posted a blog post
2 hours ago
MsJennyb's blog post was featured
2 hours ago
SoLuscious commented on Lady Thriller's blog post Reports Say Tamar Braxton Called Police On Vince Herbert At Ritz-Carlton Hotel -Blogged By @LadyThriller69
"No surprise.  but sad. I hope she gets out, but she probably wont....that lifestyle is…"
3 hours ago
SoLuscious replied to Asimplebijou's discussion Ryan Lochte Loses All Of His Endorsements
"Good! Smug bastard!"
3 hours ago
SoLuscious commented on Char Turner's blog post Leslie Jones Reportedly Hacked, Nude Photos Released - blogged by: @Chargotit
"Sigh!!!!!! That's all I have to say about that."
3 hours ago
Tia Long posted a blog post
4 hours ago
Tia Long's blog post was featured
4 hours ago
Profile IconCherisse jamison, valven, Jennifer Bella and 47 more joined Baller Alert.com
4 hours ago

© 2016   Created by Baller Alert.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service