Is It Ever Okay To Take Another Woman's Man?

Everybody plays the fool side-chick sometimes right? Is it ever okay to take another woman's man?

Let's say you meet a guy, he seems to be perfect. He takes you out on several dates, he always picks you up from your place on time & you guys are really hitting it off. You think that it's quite possible that he could be the one, or at least you'd like for him to be, until one day he tells you that he has a secret to disclose. He says that he's currently married but going through a divorce. He says that he's separated and that he cares deeply about you and wanted to make sure you found out from him rather than anyone else. Of course you're in shock at first, but then you start thinking "He's separated". It's better than them being together, right? Is it okay to be a little selfish and continue to date him although the ink technically hasn't been put to the divorce papers yet? I mean, who's happiness is more important than your own at this point?

 

What about the guy that you practically grew up with? He was your first love and you his. Everytime he's around you get an overwhelming feeling of love. You both know that eventually be together, get married, have the house with the white picket fence and the 2 kids with the dog. But now he has a girlfriend. Do you care? Do you always have dibbs on him whenever you want him? Technically he was yours first!

 

These are two examples that I think one would feel it was okay to take another woman's man. I for one feel that you can't take anything that doesn't want to be taken. I'm also a firm believer in Karma. With that said, although I've never been the "taker"the situation could definitely go either way. It can also be very messy if you're not complete open, honest and careful.

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Comment by MKym on April 20, 2011 at 10:10am

There is no such thing as "taking" another woman's man. Men are adults capable of making their own decisions, not inanimate objects you can just steal, and it is up to them whether or not they will leave the person they are with to be with you. As the "other woman" you have no obligation to the other party; he does. I see no value in perpetuating the thought process that women are the ones "stealing" men away and "breaking up" homes, when it is much more accurate to say that men are cheating on their significant others and breaking up their own homes.

That said, I agree with both points, particularly the second one. Personally, I do not even bother with married men, because that is another level of commitment that I happen to respect, but I would have absolutely NO problem with going after my hometown sweetheart if he had a GF.

Comment by Honeycoated on April 20, 2011 at 10:44am

As I was reading htis, another scenario came to mind. Your friend's ex... they have broken up, maybe a short time ago or  a long time ago. SOmehow you bump into him and you guys happen to strike up a convo for whatever reason. You and this guy really hit it off! i mean, it seems you have great chemistry but never knew it before because that was your friend's man and never spoke beyond "hey you ya doing? Where's my girl Jasmine?'

 

Maybe you guys were in line at Statbucks and before you knew it, you both had sat downto drink your venti lattes and you are thinking in your head "damn, i'm feelin' dude". Should you not go for it because he was your friends man? They didnt work out. They werent compatible. You two are. He asks to go out with you again.....Do you accept??

Comment by Creative Bee on April 20, 2011 at 11:13am
when man really wants something he will do anything to get it. If his marriage is over, he can make it official and then start new relationship. Any time sharing is involved he is just not that into you...Girlfriend or not, I would entertain idea of dating after they break up completely. Some girlfriends are like wives, they have children, property together, families know each other etc
When you meet a man and learn that he is in relationship just don't let yourself fall for him.
It's not even karma thing, man who looks around while in relationship is made up of spoiled dough and you don't need him, he wont change for you because you are "better" than "her" and know how to keep him. Man who has integrity will finalize his failed relationship and take some tome to understand why they failed before he starts roaming around.
Comment by Desiree' on April 20, 2011 at 11:16am
@ Honey Coated I would say hell no because at the end of the day that's your friends ex man and most friendships last forever when most dudes are like on to the next one once the infatuation stage passes. The friend will definitely be mad as hell about that.
Comment by Creative Bee on April 20, 2011 at 11:51am
@Honey don't mess with real friendship. If its real. Men come and go, true friends are hard to find. If she is more like associate then i see nothing wrong with that.
Comment by JustMe on April 20, 2011 at 12:36pm
If he's separated - no
If he has a girlfriend - no
If he's my friends ex - no

Starting a relationship built on secrets, lies, hurt & betrayal is never a good thing, and more than likely it will end the same way...
Comment by Eleven8 on April 20, 2011 at 1:00pm
@ HoneyCoated I've found myself in that situation a few times...which sucks b/c you never really know what to do. THEY didn't work out but it doesnt mean that YOU wont. Maybe he was placed with her in some divine way to get close to you....idk
Comment by TheLadyJosephine on April 20, 2011 at 1:40pm
Depends. Is it ever okay NOT TO PRACTICE the GOLDEN RULE? Treat people the way you TRULY want to be treated. If you don't relish the thought of another person interfering in your relationship then make sure you are never that other person. If you don't want your boyfriend's ex showing back up and going after him then YOU should never be that ex-girlfriend.

I don't care who committed to what or whom and what YOU DO does matter. If you are willing to face the consequences positive or negative, then do what you want. But if you TRULY want people to do right by you, you've got to TRULY do right by them.
Comment by University of Smitty on April 20, 2011 at 1:52pm

I say 'No" to each scenario too

Comment by Honeycoated on April 20, 2011 at 2:42pm
hey, it's not my personal scenario, it just came to mind.

and LOL! @ BlackSnakeMoan... it is slim pickins out here

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