Keep It On The Down Low...How To Know If He's In The Closet...

Social networking sites seem to open my eyes to a lot more things than I'd usually see in my own life. One of those things would be the Down-Low Brotha. For those who are unsure what a down low brotha is, it is a man who dates women and carries on relationships with women although he is secretly gay. They're all over the music industry, they're in you're neighborhood and they're in the workplace. They are just afraid to come out. I love gay men, just not when you use us women to hide it. It isn't safe and it isn't right. With that said, as a woman, how do you know when the man you've been seeing for a while is on the down low?


Social Networking Sites are always the easiest places to spot a man who is on the down low. The reason being is because I can usually observe without them really knowing I'm watching. Some people slip up and forget to DM certain things, others just make it entirely too obvious that some things aren't right. For example, I have a very good looking guy friend. Women absolutely love him and so do gay men. What I begin to notice is men who claim to be straight hitting him up way more than usual, as if to get themselves noticed.You know when you're on Twitter and you see thirsty women constantly hanging on to every tweet from a hot guy. They respond to everything, even if it doesn't call for it. I've seen men who are "supposed" to be straight begin to do the same thing.


You also have the guys who are entirely too close to their male friends. I find it suspicious when a guy sits up on the phone with another man or when he constantly goes through drama with his friends or has a different male (homie) every other week. Men you have to watch out for are the ones who try to justify something as not being gay that you clearly find suspicious. I mean seriously, kissing your homeboy on the cheek is gay, I don't care what drugs and alcohol you were under the influence of. Sending suggestive camera phone pics to another man is gay, doesn't matter what you think and constantly having your arm around another man in pics is highly questionable. Asking "Is it gay if..." is a clear indication that you're gay, not that you're in touch with your feminine side. How you coin?


Of course a man's personal computer and phone will never lie. If he's talking to a guy and has to lie about who it is, watch out! If his internet history shows him visiting, you've got a live one! If for any reason you have an inkling that the man you're sleeping with may be down low, chances are he just might be. We must face the facts that gay men didn't just fall from the sky yesterday, they've been around. Our community makes it very difficult for men to come out so it's highly likely that you are being used to mask his true identity. Some men may exude all things straight but it's only because they're really good actors. Learn the warning signs and follow your gut.

Views: 22310

Tags: brothers, down, low

Comment by Sheli on July 22, 2011 at 12:00pm
Add to that the studio, I use to talk to this dude and he was ALWAYS in the studio with the homies, but to this day, I've never heard a song, beat, or damn piano note. And there was this other dude after we went out to eat or left the movies, he'd always have to leave and pick his "roommate" up from work. We never had sex (with either of them) I think I was their cover-girl.
Comment by Baller Alert on July 22, 2011 at 1:21pm



I had a dude that would always be in the studio. I finally asked to see this studio. It was a Fisher Price set-up in his homeboys basement. *sse*

Comment by Kia Russell on June 1, 2013 at 6:01pm

LMAO @ I'm scared to find out what that is lol

Comment by Life's Journey on June 1, 2013 at 8:14pm

There is no Sure-Fire way to know... Personal perception is everything when it comes to how we think... I know someone (Full Blown Manly Vesion of a Lesbian) who thought if a dude takes a shower after handling the nasty part of visiting the toilet it must of meant he was gay... Wait a minute... As a man if I choose to take a shower AFTER I handle the nastier side of having to use the bathroom that makes me gay... C'Mon Man... Perfect example of "Personal Perception" influencing the way a person may think... Myself included... She was cool as a person though...

Comment by Life's Journey on June 1, 2013 at 8:16pm

Correction to the last post... Meant to say "Version"... Sloppy editing... What can I tell ya...

Comment by AlterEgo on June 2, 2013 at 8:53pm

I have a homeboy that I question and I looked all thru his twitter followers, and sure enough he has like a million questionable followers... It's now confirmed! lol. He's still my ninja, and until he feels comfortable enough to tell me, I'll just keep in in the back of my mind...

But it is awkward when we're out and he's tryna holla at girls! Ugh

Comment by Phoenix on June 3, 2013 at 10:07pm

I have this guy that swears he just can't be tied down by a woman... and gets bored easily... yeah that sounds like a typical male.... But he has the most feminine mannerisms I have ever seen. Like a lil Chrissy Bosh... I'm like *side eye* what's the REAL reason homie??? Oh, and he keeps saying WE should have a baby... na bruh, I'm only a PAID beard. 

Comment by Bonita on June 3, 2013 at 11:01pm

I have a friend who just got married everyone even my mum can see that guy is gay oh mum told me to mind my business after all he didn't marry His mum is her friend and his wife's mum is also her


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