"nice change."
Baller Alert.com
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It's A Thin Line Between Love And "Hate"
Let's talk about a four letter word that is extremely over-used. That word is HATE. My problem with this word is that whenever you offer a suggestion or disagree with something someone is doing, they assume that you are "hating". Really? Let's discuss this.
For example, a girl friend of yours isn't living her life the best way she can. She's in and out of work, horribly irresponsible and is more concerned about men than she is about her kids. You try to refer her to jobs but she can't stay long enough to get her first paycheck. She's proven that she knows the recipe for disaster and it's going to effect her children in the most negative way. You finally reach out to her and give her that tough love that she desperately needs. Only problem is, the minute that you begin to hint that she isn't living her life right she begins to go off on YOU about how jealous you are of her. It's in that breath that you have become a "hater". But why? How did you become envious of the girl with the eviction noticed taped to her door?
In some twisted way your friend is convinced that she is doing nothing wrong. What do you do when a friend is living wrong and is content with that? What do you do when every time something goes wrong, instead of saying "This was wrong. This is how I fix it" they say "Bad things happen to good people. Nothing I can do about it"? In the mind of a delusional person, it may indeed look like you are hating. Most normal people would say, for what? Too often friends mistake good advice or disagreements for hating. This is one reason a lot of people assume that they don't really have true friends. Let me break down a few situations that are mistaken as hating
You leave the house in a $20 lace front wig....I'm NOT hating, your hairline does indeed resemble that of a cabbage patch kid.
Your boyfriend beats you and I mention you should leave him...I'm NOT hating on your beautiful and functional relationship but your black eyes are scaring my potential boyfriends away.
You aren't a very good rapper....I am NOT hating, in fact I'm trying to save you money and time. Everyone can't be a rapper. Believe me, theres some days even I wish I could Mic Check 1-2-1-2, but I cant, and neither should you. It's just not in your future.
You have way too many kids to only be 22...Yeah this may offend you but I am NOT hating! We learned at an early age how babies are made and after your 4th child, I think you should have the concept down by now. No ma'am, I'm not jealous of the daycare center you gave birth to. I just think it's time you check out that new invention they have out there....birth control.
You are broke. Why are you still buying Louboutins...Look, I don't pay your bills...oh wait, I do. You owe me $100.
Your mother is raising your kid. You, on the other hand, are still clubbing...Okay, maybe I'm hating a little. Ask your mother if she'll watch my baby too.
Now, if I tell you that you should not date someone and I turn around and start talking to him a week later. Yes ma'am, I was hating on you. Now I'm laughing at you because you probably should have been smart enough to catch that!
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Comment by Sheli on October 23, 2012 at 11:45am -
I strongly dislike the word HATE! Like you said having an opinion different from the norm is now considered "hate." My cousin stays in the projects, no car, no job, 1 child, baby daddy sells weed, but their lights are always off but she told me I've been "hating" on her ever since she moved out....My eyes damn near popped out my head!
My only response to people who try to seriously convince me that I'm a hater is : Name 5 things you've done that I haven't or can't do that will cause me to "hate"....Don't worry I'll wait.
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Comment by blackfujones on October 23, 2012 at 12:19pm -
i dont use the word hate, noone in my family uses the word, i dont teach my children to use it and to say it harshly i dont f*** with people who use the word quite frankly. To me hate is such a powerful word that my gram and others taught us to despise that negative energy.
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Comment by blackfujones on October 23, 2012 at 12:21pm
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@Sheli...
I dont hate...Im progressively ENVIOUS of certain things. I envy people who have strong families. I envy people who are great speakers, I envy those who've been at rock bottom and have picked themselves up by their boots, I envy intelligence...basically my envy is my motivation because they inspire me.
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Comment by BlkButtafly on October 23, 2012 at 12:35pm -
@blackfu, great choice of word! There's nothing wrong with being envious IMO if it's motivation to do better. But hate is a word to be used sparingly if at all, for sure!
LOL @ Sheli "Name 5 things you've done that I haven't or can't do that will cause me to hate"...I've got to use that some time
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Comment by Bonita on October 23, 2012 at 1:57pm -
@Blackfu I hear you but envy is not any better perhaps you should change that to admire :)
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Comment by blackfujones on October 23, 2012 at 2:13pm
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nah..envy...because admiration is for onlookers. at least i can turn my envy into lusting for something I need badly
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Comment by BabyGirlWiz on October 23, 2012 at 3:04pm -
Funny. 2 & 3. Why do women who have domestic violence issues play into the "oh, so n so wants him...thats why they are urging you to get counseling and security." >>>> don't keep dreaming that nightmare. LOL. I cringe at the far too many attempts and dreams of "rap stardom" . >>>It's just not enough labels to pimp out all the interested parties. smh.&LOL@the too many kids for 22/ the lights off in the projects but YOU're hating.LAUGH. Somebody IS hating...I just don't know who when you're lights are off in public housing?
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Comment by Baller Alert on October 23, 2012 at 6:47pm -
Right on...
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Comment by Carla Jenkins on October 23, 2012 at 6:55pm -
Agreed Eleven. When it's true, it cannot be hatred.
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Comment by Bad Ole Putty Tat on October 24, 2012 at 10:59am
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if it's coming from a good end and you really want to help a person it can't be hate!!! More like this is the truth and you need to face the facts!!! Truth hurts most ppl tho, so at the end of the day you'll be a honest "Hater" lol!
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