No I’m Not Hating on You.. For What?

Let's talk about a four letter word that is extremely over-used. That word is HATE. My problem with this word is that whenever you offer a suggestion or disagree with something someone is doing, they assume that you are "hating". Really? Let's discuss this.

For example, a girl friend of yours isn't living her life the best way she can. She's in and out of work, horribly irresponsible and is more concerned about men than she is about her kids. You try to refer her to jobs but she can't stay long enough to get her first paycheck. She's proven that she knows the recipe for disaster and it's going to effect her children in the most negative way. You finally reach out to her and give her that tough love that she desperately needs. Only problem is, the minute that you begin to hint that she isn't living her life right she begins to go off on YOU about how jealous you are of her. It's in that breath that you have become a "hater". But why? How did you become envious of the girl with the eviction noticed taped to her door?
In some twisted way your friend is convinced that she is doing nothing wrong. What do you do when a friend is living wrong and is content with that? What do you do when every time something goes wrong, instead of saying "This was wrong. This is how I fix it" they say "Bad things happen to good people. Nothing I can do about it"? In the mind of a delusional person, it may indeed look like you are hating. Most normal people would say, for what? Too often friends mistake good advice or disagreements for hating. This is one reason a lot of people assume that they don't really have true friends. Let me break down a few situations that are mistaken as hating
You leave the house in a $20 lace front wig....I'm NOT hating, your hairline does indeed resemble that of a cabbage patch kid.
Your boyfriend beats you and I mention you should leave him...I'm NOT hating on your beautiful and functional relationship but your black eyes are scaring my potential boyfriends away.
You aren't a very good rapper....I am NOT hating, in fact I'm trying to save you money and time. Everyone can't be a rapper. Believe me, theres some days even I wish I could Mic Check 1-2-1-2, but I cant, and neither should you. It's just not in your future.
You have way too many kids to only be 22...Yeah this may offend you but I am NOT hating! We learned at an early age how babies are made and after your 4th child, I think you should have the concept down by now. No ma'am, I'm not jealous of the daycare center you gave birth to. I just think it's time you check out that new invention they have out there....birth control.
You are broke. Why are you still buying Louboutins...Look, I don't pay your bills...oh wait, I do. You owe me $100.
Your mother is raising your kid. You, on the other hand, are still clubbing...Okay, maybe I'm hating a little. Ask your mother if she'll watch my baby too.
Now, if I tell you that you should not date someone and I turn around and start talking to him a week later. Yes ma'am, I was hating on you. Now I'm laughing at you because you probably should have been smart enough to catch that!

Views: 340

Tags: hate, the, word

Comment by University of Smitty on November 2, 2010 at 8:58am
LOL@ watch my baby too
Comment by Tracy on November 2, 2010 at 9:22am
This right here irks me to no end - you borrow from me for "gas/groceries/pampers" and then come show me some new boots.
You are broke. Why are you still buying Louboutins...Look, I don't pay your bills...oh wait, I do. You owe me $100.
Comment by Hate my Ex on November 2, 2010 at 9:50am
LMAO @ Alla this!
Comment by Hate my Ex on November 2, 2010 at 9:53am
I have one.

You are dating a dude with a rat tail in the back of his head like it's still hot, he's got gold fronts, and he's greasy...when I refuse to tell you he's cute when you ask me, I am not hating...I'm sparing your feelings.
Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on November 2, 2010 at 11:24am
In some twisted way your friend is convinced that she is doing nothing wrong. What do you do when a friend is living wrong and is content with that? What do you do when every time something goes wrong, instead of saying "This was wrong. This is how I fix it" they say "Bad things happen to good people. Nothing I can do about it"?

OH. MY. DAMN! I have a friend like this! Can barely get congrats past her clenched teeth when something good happens to someone else but always bemoaning her life after doing the opposite of the good advice anyone gives her. smh She is one of them people I decided to love from a distance this year.
Comment by Rochelle P on November 2, 2010 at 1:47pm
I do to and guess what she has been gone 10yrs ago....

OH. MY. DAMN! I have a friend like this! Can barely get congrats past her clenched teeth when something good happens to someone else but always bemoaning her life after doing the opposite of the good advice anyone gives her. smh She is one of them people I decided to love from a distance this year.

Read more: http://www.balleralert.com/profiles/blogs/no-im-not-hating-on-you-f...
Comment by Savoir Faire on November 2, 2010 at 2:17pm
I don't know...you're still passing judgement. This is part of the reason why I keep the circle tight. Everyone has their own struggle and handles things differently. Often we are able to see things about a person that they may not see themselves and vice versa. I like being able to be honest with my friends. If I love them I'm going to say how I feel good or bad; I enjoy them being able to do the same for me. Anytime I feel like I start becoming to critical of someone, I recognize that I may not be a good friend and it's time to move it along.
Comment by JustMe on November 2, 2010 at 3:07pm
now this is one area where I definitely blame hip hop. lol...
Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on November 2, 2010 at 3:42pm
Rochelle, I feel you. I feel this person passing further and further out of my life. I can't keep hiding my blessings from her just so don't feel bad or worse. In that case, when do I get to rejoice and enjoy my gifts? She has gone from hanging buddy to phone buddy to email friend.
Comment by Rochelle P on November 2, 2010 at 3:46pm
That's how you do it, until they wake up and say "oh s***" i lost a good friend trying to be greedy...

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