For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
Its always interesting to watch the relationship dynamics of others and look back at past relationships of your own. What I have always found most amusing is the female who will cancel their 7 year friendship in a heart beat over a 2nd grade crush who was never checking for her to begin with, but will continue to chase down and bust it open for the dude who cant keep his peen in his pants even if he was getting paid for it. Sadly, the fear of being that "single lonely bish" makes most forget about the respect and loyalty that they wanted so badly in the beginning. The reality of it is that you are not scoring any points as a "down chick" to an undeserving man. What are you really riding for? And is the end result a mutual goal you BOTH share, or just an image you are fighting for ALONE, so you don't have to be ALONE?
Learning your limits in any relationship is just as (sometimes even more) important as the relationship itself. I really despise cliche's but its obvious that as many times as this has been said, it still has yet to be understood that people treat you the best way they know how, and that is solely based off of the things YOU allow and let them get away with. I love Emily B (and hopefully she doesn't pen an open letter after this) but it is obvious that she is the only one that believes it's a just a coincidence that almost every female in the Love & Hip Hop NY franchise has been associated with Fabolous aka her "man." When we were first introduced to her back in 2011, I don't know if people were more surprised at the fact that they had seen Fab with and speak of every other video girl and heaux but her (the mother of his child), or the fact that she was still with him.
I think I was probably one of the only 100 people who purchased Winter Ramos' messy book "Game Over," and despite the poor grammar, editing, and pure wretchedness, what I did conclude is that Fabolous was the "winning ticket" in Emily's life that saved her from a basic Virginia life & tumultuous relationship, and moved her and her daughter in his home after a MTV VMA weekend fling-turned serious situation in Miami. Of course the rest is history, and is still playing out before our eyes. So irregardless of all the times he has openly spoke about his disinterest in marriage, and all the Instagram models that can speak of his pipe game, she is the female that will ride out for "love" by any means in hopes that he will one day change, to maintain her lifestyle, and for the sake of the "family" and saving face. But if a person has no intentions on giving what you really want (in her case marriage) after all your years of "loyalty", what makes you think that time will change their mind if they have already become accustomed to and content with the way things are? Its just like the female who has always been down for the quick fling at Motel 6 with the $10 bottle of vodka, but then after the 10th meeting complains to her girlfriend about how Tyrone never wines & dines her, and how they never go on trips. Why would he pay for Cabo when he has been getting everything he wants & more on a $50 budget right at home?
You teach a dog obedience and all its tricks within the first month, not two years later, and relationships should be looked at in the same respect. A recurring theme with a lot of my male friends that have cheated is that when when they begged for forgiveness and got it, they were happy that they won BUT a part of them knew deep down that there would be more that they could and probably would get away with...hence the birth of the religious cheater. Men have no problem holding on to dumb pride and making you a new life time member of the "friend zone" after ONE disagreement, but for some odd reason females feel that 30+ chances for repetitive foolery is warranted and makes them the "bigger person."
In the end, every friendship/relationship in life will have its power struggles, and although the powers may never be leveled, they should be respected. Being alone should not be a curse to a person who is already alone. We all have our limits, and "fcuk that negro" moments, but learning to put your foot down and not using blind love as the excuse for one's actions and your weakness is the best gift we can give ourselves.