For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
Chapter 1: Know about the game you’re playing
I pretty much was thrown into this whole baller arena; I knew nothing about sports other than Michael Jordan. There were a few names, pro athlete wise, which I was familiar with, but only because of their ties to pop culture. You would think that because of all the college football games I attended supporting my ex Gerren, that I would have a little knowledge of the sport; but I didn't. I pretty much went to every home game that Gerren played during his years in college. Not only did I go to the games to support my man, I also went to be seen. Going to those home games were a way for me to stunt and showoff non-nonchalantly in front of the other college girls. I would wear outfits that were cute and form fitting, and obviously out of any college girls budget. My hair and makeup were always mere resemblances of the A-list women I saw styling on MTv; I always loved doing hair and makeup and knew that was where I would end up career wise. Even if I wanted to show up to the games in jeans, sneakers, and a school campus tee, I couldn't. Gerren loved walking off the field to greet me with a kiss and hug after scoring the most rushes and touchdowns during the game. It boosted his ego just that much more to know that he had the baddest girl at the game, and that the rest of his teammates would try to sneak a peek at me without getting caught, because there would be hell to pay if Gerren caught them. When I went to Gerren's campus for his games, I always had two of my girls on each side of me. In order for them to join, they knew that they had to look just as fly as I did. We would sit in the middle of the stands soaking up all the chatter from the rest of the college girls that would suck their teeth and roll their eyes with at us with hate. It had no effect on us because any and probably all the chicks there would have loved to been in our heels. Needless to say, I never paid attention to the games. When Gerren told me he was being drafted into the NFL his senior year, I replied with ultimate confusion saying "why in the hell do you want to go to the army? I thought you wanted to be a football player". I knew absolutely nothing when it came to sports.
When Gerren moved me with him to San Diego, my views on sports remained the same. The fact that he was a professional football player meant very little to me, mostly because his job was not the reason why I loved him. I did however enjoy going to the games more now than I did when he played in college because the other wives, fiancee's, and girlfriends, were just as much exposed to fashion and high maintenance as I was. For every game I would strategically pick out what shoes I wanted to wear, because these women in Cali were all about their shoe game. Then for whatever shoe I was wearing, I would find a dress or skirt to pair with my shoes; I hardly ever wore pants to the games because I wanted people to pay attention to my thighs and legs, and how they flowed so perfectly into my shoes. My accessories were always flashy and noticeable, leaving the other women to calculate how many carats I was rocking and how many zeroes were in the price tag. With me being a makeup artist, my hair and makeup were always on point; so-much-so that my face was a form of advertisement for my work, which the other women admired, eventually leading them to becoming my first clients when I graduated school. The feeling that I had after these other women gawked and awed at me as if I was some goddess was pure bliss. With all the attention I was getting, I never paid noticed what my man was doing on the field; all I knew and cared about was win or loss. Even though Gerren never cared, learning his craft was something I should have done well before he became a star player and way before he went pro.
It wasn't until after Gerren and I had broken up that I realized how vital it was for me to learn about sports, especially if these were the men that I wanted to date. I was out one night living it up at Cabana with my girls, enjoying every minute of me being single and now living in LA. It was a typical and routine night out; walk to the front of the line, no ID check, and then we would get escorted to VIP. It was normal for at least 18 guys to approach me and offer to buy me a drink. There was this one guy, looked like a basic nigga to me, who came to offer to buy me another drink. I looked at him and rolled my eyes saying “Uh why would I need you to buy me a drink if I am chilling in my section of VIP with an infinite amount of drinks?" He smirked and said "its sexy to see a woman that can handle her own, I'm just trying to show you that you ain't gotta do all that ma, I can do it for you." By this time my level of attitude had risen because it seemed that this bum nigga wanted to challenge me. "Sweetheart, there's not a drink or bottle in this club that you can buy me that I can’t get for myself" I said hoping that it would make him see that he has nothing for me and that he could keep it moving. "I guess you think I am trying to impress you with my money or some s*** like that?" he said. "Yes I do, that's all you lame ass niggas do, you come to the club and you see a woman like me and you think some damn drink will get you anywhere with me." I said, "Not happening honey." "Well since I'm like all these other niggas, why do you tell me how to approach you" he said. By this time, he made himself comfy on the couch sitting next to me. "How about come over here, introduce yourself, and ask me out in an environment outside of the club. Show interest in getting to know me outside of the club." After saying that, he looked at me and said "deal, give me your number and I will call and set something up". I threw shade on him even more by giving him my business card because from the looks of it, there really wasn't anything I could do with him. He walked away and went back to where his boys were, and I noticed all his hommies were fresh and laced with money. Why couldn't one of them come over and try to talk to me?
That next morning I was shocked to receive a good morning text from him. A few more text was exchanged before he finally asked me out to lunch, of course I agreed. I threw on something cute enough to be seen in public in. I had no intention of actually wearing something that would turn heads or make a statement because he was just another nigga. When he came to pick me up from my house, he was driving an all-black Mercedes Benz that was decorated with 22" black wall rims. I figured the car had to be a rental because of how he looked in the club the night before. When we arrived at Barney's Rooftop Bistro I was curious how he would pay the bill for our meal at this Beverly Hills eatery. While we chatted and waited for our food to come to our table two different people on two different occasions came and asked for his autograph. By this time I was confused as to who he was and what his occupation was. I said "so what was that about? All these people asking for your autograph, is there something I'm missing"? He said "what do you mean; It's all a part of it." I said "a part of what? What exactly do you do?" He looked at me as if he was confused and said "I play for the Lakers." I was shocked and in dis belief. I pulled out my phone and Googled "Ronny Turiaf" and to my surprise; there he was posted online as the center for the LA Lakers. In the club he looked so basic, all his friends wore diamonds and labels and he was in a basic button up and jeans. I instantly was attracted to him because he obviously had money being an athlete and all, but the most attractive part of it all was the fact that he wasn't flashy. It kept it subtle. I'm pretty sure he was annoyed at the fact that I didn't know who he was, because he assumed I knew and that I was one of those women that didn't care.
A few days later, he invited me to come to one of his games. I brought one of my girls with me to keep me company during the game, because there was no way I was going to be there for the entire game bored and alone. I paid more attention to what the women at the game were wearing versus watching Ronny on the court. I was comparing my Giuseppe heels to the rest of the women in the skybox, and I checked my mirror ever two seconds to make sure my makeup hadn't made any smudges, checked to make sure every strand if hair on my hair was in its place, and I kept checking my jewelry making sure they were gleaming brightly in the light. Once the game was over, I met Ronny by the locker rooms where the rest of the family members and significant others met to greet their players. Ronny looked so sexy coming out of the locker room, he definitely looked like a baller now. This 6'10 beautiful brown specimen of a man walked out of the locker room the sexiest amount of confidence that which made him instantly noticeable to everyone around him. Even Kobe laughed and pointed at Roony saying "HA HA here comes this guy". I examined every ounce of Ronny before he approached me, admiring everything about him that I never noticed before. His freshly done cornrows that were neatly braided straight back, his smile showcased his snow white teeth making his lips look appetizing, and his the Nike track suit that he wore was adorned by the diamond necklaces that laid perfectly against his chest. I was more attracted to Ronny that I was before; I wanted him. When he finally walked over to my way, he possessively grabbed me by my waist and put his arms around me, and then he kissed me on my forehead before asking if I was ready to go. There's nothing that turns me on more from a man then when they kiss me on my forehead. He definitely had me from that moment. The way that he treated me at the game was almost as if he assumed we were together. To everyone, it appeared as if he and I was an item.
When we left the Staples Center, he took me for a long drive where we ended up on-top of a hill which overlooked the city. I had never seen anything so beautiful and breath taking. Ronny told me that this was a sacred place for him because it was where he went to escape from everything and focused his thoughts on the things that had meaning to him. I definitely was in see because for him to bring me here, to a place that upheld so much value to him, let me know that he had feelings for me. I have never had someone care so much about me in so little time, and quite frankly, I don't think I appreciated it. Ronny grabbed my had and led me to the front of the car where he say me in front of him and wrapped his arms around me before asking me what my biggest fear was. No one had ever taken an interest in me beyond my physical appearance; it was obvious that he didn't care about that. I thought about his question a little before I responded to him saying "I feat that because I have never actually known love or had anything really positive going for me in my relationships, I fear that I won't know when someone truly loves me." He kissed my cheek and held me tighter instilling a sense of protection that I hadn't felt before. When Ronny felt the chills and the goose bumps raising on my body due to the night draft setting in, he got me into his car and said I'm about to take you home.
When we were back at his house, I wanted nothing more than to hop in his bed and just lay in his arms feeling that same sense of security I had felt on-top of the hill. I grabbed one of his T-shirts off his dresser and slipped it on and began watching the movie he had put on. We lay in his bed with both of our bodies intertwined between with one another's. Ronny asked me a few more questions about myself, before asking me if I enjoyed the game. I told him yea ad figured that would be it. Asking me my opinion on certain plays he had made during the, I clearly didn't know anything about what he was questioning me on because I didn't watch the game. So to shift his mind elsewhere, I sat on top of him and took off his shirt I was wearing and began kissing him. I was going to shift his mind away from the conversation with sex. I leaned in against him so that he could feel the hardness of my nipples move against his skin. His warm hands slowly paralyzed my spine, making it absolutely impossible for me to move. I felt him place both of his hands in the middle of my pack as he supported my body upward before gently moving me backwards until my back was against his bed. I closed my eyes and let my mind drift to a place of submission and mercy because I wanted to fully give myself to him.
I don’t even remember how or when he became fully naked, I only remember him sticking the tip of his penis inside of me and slowly pulling it out; he did this multiple times until it was all the way in. It was almost as if he knew my body wouldn’t be able to take all of him at once, so he just gave me a little at a time to het by body acclimated to his fullness. Ronny paused and just stayed inside me motionless, I opened my eyes to figure out why exactly he had stopped; I just knew he had found something wrong with me and no longer wanted to have sex with me. When I opened my eyes, Ronny was looking dead at me and I said “what’s wrong babe”, he replied “do you trust me”, and I said “yes”. My answer was the green light for him to go ahead and do whatever he wanted with me. I have never in all my many relations felt so passionately connected to anyone. Generally when I am with someone, they are rough and rugged like jackhammers, but with Ronny you could feel the sensuality with every stroke; it was like the intensity was magnified due to all of his movements being at a slow pace. Ronny made it so that I could feel every emotion possible as he slid in and out. Everything about us having sex was relaxing and mind blowing, from the way he massaged by breast, to each and every time I felt his soft lips caress my skin. After feeling everything I had felt, I wanted nothing more than to give him the same pleasure that he had given me. I pushed him off of me and positioned myself under him so that I could lick what was left of me off his penis, Ronny moved away stopping me and said “let me take care of you tonight”. He grabbed me by my ankles and twirled me so that my head was positioned opposite of him; he eased his head below my bellybutton and let his tongue ignite even bigger flames throughout my body. My eyes were so far rolled into the back of my head that I swore they were going to be like that permanently, and my toes curled to the point of the gripping the sheets. I could tell by everything that Ronny was doing that he had definitely fallen for me, in ways that I hadn’t yet.
Things for Ronny and I began to snowball into a bigger and stronger relationship. We were spending more and more time with each other, and it was like I couldn’t go a second without seeing his name in my inbox. I honestly had a good thing going with him, but my past would not allow me to appreciate it. Ronny invested so much time into actually getting to know me for who I was; unfortunately I failed to do the same. All my life I was a prissy and spoiled ass brat, but I was able to get away with it because no one actually cared to point out such a horrible flaw in efforts of making me a better woman; I pretty much was set in my ways. On one of the biggest games in Ronny’s career, I yet again didn’t pay any attention to him while I was at the game; I treated it as the usual fashion show and social gathering. I didn’t know a thing about what had happened during that game other than the Lakers had won. When the game was over, Ronny and a few other teammates went out to Mr. Chow’s to celebrate the conference championship victory. He replayed the game back to me while we were out to eat, hoping to get a critiquing response from me. After I didn’t really respond to any of his numerous questions, one of the other player’s girlfriends asked me if I even watched the game and everyone laughed and continued eating. When we got back to the car I could immediately feel the tension between him and I. Ronny remained quiet the whole drive back to his house. When we stepped inside the living room, he took his keys and threw them missing the basket in which they should have landed shattering a picture of he and I that was mounted on his wall. I immediately developed an attitude and said “what the hell is your problem”. My questioning him only pissed him off even more and he said “don’t start with me, just go to bed”. I couldn’t believe that he had the absolute nerve to tell me to go to bed, now I was pissed. “What do you mean go to bed? I am not getting in the bed with you if you’re mad and can’t be a man and even attempt to fix whatever problem you have.” I could tell things were now about to turn because he has never gotten as upset with me as he did that night. “That’s your f****** problem Oceania, you only care about yourself and no one else. You’re a selfish ass spoiled brat and there is only so much of your sadityness that I can take.” I couldn’t believe all that I was hearing from him at this point, he had never said anything negative about or towards me; “How am I selfish Ronny? I have never done anything that would make you think I was selfish.” “It’s what you don’t do Oceania that makes you selfish. All this time that you and I have been together you haven’t asked me anything about my family, what I like, where I am from, or even where I went to school. You know absolutely nothing about, but I know everything about you.” I tried to state my point in the argument, but I honestly had no response. He continued by saying “All that other stuff I didn’t even care about, I found other things in you to make up for it. What actually hurts and bothers me the most Oceania is that the one thing that is obvious to everyone isn’t to you. Everyone knows that I put out my heart and soul when I am on that court but you. Basketball is the one thing that you know about me and you never cared to show any interest in it, and for that s***, your ass is selfish”
I was angry beyond control. Who the hell does he think he is to talk to me the way he did? And why in the f*** was he so all into me if he I was really all those thing? The truth of the matter, Ronny was absolutely right about everything, I was selfish, and I was absolutely wrong. Ronny could have possibly been a long lasting relationship, because he did nothing but care for me. Because I had let my past affect me so much, I was blind when something good was right in front of me. That night, I knew I had lost Ronny.
Lesson #1: Know the about the game that you’re playing
When you are dealing with a pro athlete, it is so important to know and realize that they take their profession very seriously. It’s not just a sport to them, this is their lives. These men practice and develop a love for their respected sport sometimes when they first begin walking. It’s more than a passion for them; basketball, football, and even golf are a big chunk of their hearts. If you are trying to get with a baller, you must know something about what is of ultimate importance to them; their craft. By not taking an interest in that shows that you really don’t care about whom they are, but more so what they have. Pro athletes take their jobs in a very critical sense, even if they are sitting on the bench. This is the way they are able to move their momma’s into a bigger house, buy their first vehicle off the showroom floor, and help get their hommies out of the hood.
You have an interest in these men because they are pro athletes, so why not learn about the thing that attracts you to them?
I knew that if I was going to find me a baller, and keep a baller, I was going to have to learn everything there was to know about sports. I went to the bookstore and bout “Basketball for Dummies” and “Coaching Basketball for Dummies”. I was going to know everything there was about this sport and develop an interest in it. Never again was I going to be the booshy self-centered woman that I was before because from what Ronny showed me, that got me absolutely nowhere. Over a course of a month, I was able to identify plays when watching games, I knew the names and cities that each housed teams, and I could also name at least 3 starting players on those teams. I was thoroughly informed with information that I could see an athlete and based on his build I could tell you what position he played. I became a basketball guru. Ronny had taught me one of the biggest lessons about myself, and for that I still have him to thank. No man likes a self-centered woman, especially a man who is a celebrity athlete. He already has to fight for the attention and spotlight when he is on the court, he definitely doesn’t want to do that when he’s in a relationship with his girl.