The Children and Our Future--WTF??! Is Going On
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5 after 1 vote
Hey yall,
I’m going to take 5 minutes away from writing my book to get some things off my chest. I feel obligated to make some points after reading posts lately. This isn’t a response to the latest fuckery. But a response to what the hell is going on in our society with our children. Lately, I’ve read stories about little boys raping an 8 year old girl, a woman getting shot in broad daylight, and all sorts of other fuckery. I understand that things have been going on for a long time and are everywhere but this shit is getting out of hand. The only way to attempt to slow the effects is to educate our youth. While reading the post about Chris Brown, he said “no one taught us how to love one another”. All I could think of when I heard that response was…isn’t loving one another a requirement that parent should teach their children? I mean damn, my momma taught me that growing up. What the hell was Chris Brown’s mother doing for 18 years? I’m not saying she is a bad parent. But some parents are forgetting to teach their children necessities of life, which is why we have so much crazy shit going on with our children. Yes, parents, it’s your fault (90% of it). Your kids are your responsibility. You have to teach children respect, love for themselves, love for one another, and morals as well as kindness, patience, peace, and self-control.
It’s a sad state of affairs. While driving, I see TVs in minivans. WTF? Kids don’t interact with one another anymore in a car. To me, I think those parents are just being lazy. Therefore, yes, TV and society will raise your children because you are not doing it. The biggest influence on ones life are the parents…period. Some parents really need to grow the fuck up mentally. You had them so raise them accordingly. Your kids should be your top priority and your decisions in life should be based on how it will affect your children and yourself. And I mean EVERY single decision, which includes what you say and what you do. Even the comments you make about people and certain situations. I don’t have kids but there are things I do NOT do around children. I don’t curse around kids. Yes, I can curse up a storm on BA but I don’t curse around children. I try to be a model because they are like sponges. They will do and say everything that you do. I do believe in social responsibility. If I see a boy with his pants hanging off his ass, I tell him to pull his damn pants up. I always try to give a positive message and make a point about life. I do it because I believe in the saying, “it takes a village to raise a child”. It is my responsibility as well to help raise children. I have no problem in telling kids what the fuck they are doing is not acceptable or saying, kudos, for doing such a great job. You should do the same. Kids really want to be the best they can be.
Kids need to be educated. I look at the popular searches on google and yahoo and the majority of the time; it has nothing to do with education. Usually, half of them are about celebrities. It’s sad when that many people want to search information about celebrities and what’s going on in their lives. When, in turn, they don’t have any control of their own lives. I’m not saying that you can’t search the internet for things, but if you are spending too much time on internet and not reading a book or doing something productive that will help yourself or your children, then you got your priorities all fucked up.
What I’m bout to say next might offend some people, but please don’t take it that way. This is directed towards black women. I’m black so I can make this point. I’m not saying other races are not like this but it is dominant in our culture. It’s just the facts. As black women, we ask, why don’t black men act like this or why don’t black men do that. Well, it’s because they were not taught to do so. And it’s somewhat your fault. So, 1) stop having children with loser men. And 2) kids do need a dad in their lives. I know you wanna be independent and raise your kids on your own, but don’t if you can help it. Boys need a man in their lives. Only a man can teach a boy how to be a man….not a woman, which is why males these days act the way they do. For me, one requirement for the father of my children is to be a gentleman and have chivalry. If he doesn’t have that, I’m not having a baby by him. If he is not a man, how can he teach our son to be a man? Or how can he teach our daughter what to expect from a man? Now, there are exceptions to the rule. Just look at Barack Obama. But that is just one in a million. There will be others that will succeed but most will fall through the cracks. The dynamics of our culture is not like others so we gotta do shit differently. If you’re a single mom, I’m not trying to knock anyone’s decisions that have already been made. I’m sure many of you are great MOTHERS….not FATHERS. Some boys will grow up and be just fine but will they act like “men” towards women? I’ll let you ponder that thought. Kids learn through observation. Saying “this is how you act like a man” is one thing, but allowing kids to learn by what one does AND say will have a completely different outcome.
So let’s make some changes with our youth and try to make things better. Teach them better so they can get better. As well as teaching them how to love themselves and one another, respect, contentment, appreciation, gratefulness, independence, motivation, how to be resourceful, kindness, thoughtfulness, etc. Let’s also try to bring back the traditional families and the traditional things. Like not shacking up, getting married first before the kids, having family dinners at the dinner table, and having family night. Also, use quality time to TEACH your children about EVERY aspect of life, which includes even the most basic ones that can be looked over such as loving one self.
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Comment by Moving In Silence on September 6, 2009 at 4:42pm - I usually hate when people who don't have kids try to talk about them but this is sooo true.
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Comment by JustMe on September 6, 2009 at 8:59pm - extremely good and much needed post
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Comment by tHeOfFiCialLuRKeR on September 8, 2009 at 5:57pm - yuuppp
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Comment by Hotter on September 8, 2009 at 10:37pm - Great post OG. I dont have any kids but watching the youth of today makes me think, do I even want to bring a child into todays society? The answer always seems to be no.
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Comment by Ashley Banks on September 30, 2009 at 11:48am -
Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this. For years, I'd listen to some of my older Asian co-workers, and now younger Asian classmates, and they all complain about Asian men and why they date/marry white men. I would get so angry with them for excluding their own race from their lives. As I get older and see what's happening within our community, it's hard to really accept and expect to love a black man. I can't marry a man that isn't involved in church or the community because I feel they are taking from our people and not giving back, and have received much flack from black male friends because I'm seriously considering leaving AFRICAN AMERICAN men alone.
There are several reasons why I'm torn and don't want to:
1) How will black children see a positive black relationship if I marry outside of my race? It would be good for a young woman to see me being treated well my any man, regardless of color, but what will this do to the young brothers around us?
2) I'm sick of this image of black men being predators. From movies, to music, to p0rn (which I truly believe is racist and sick). I'm tired of seeing "mandingo" images everywhere. It's like we're allowing people to dumb us down to make themselves stronger. Black men are the most imitated man on this planet, but why don't they outgrow these bad trends. You can rock bling and kick it as an adult, but you need to clean yourself up and mature. It's amazing to me to see the white and Hispanic guys I grew up with that were so "hood" back in the day, but they're grown men holding down jobs and families, but still love to reminisce and are still down. You can have it both ways. We don't have many examples of that in our community, a phase is a phase, it shouldn't be what dictates your life. I'm sick of grown men running around with pants hanging off their butts and using bad grammer, wondering why they're trying to keep a black man down and won't promote him out of data entry.
I'm sorry, this topic gets me worked up. As I look at the dating prospects around me, and what I see the young women in my college classes going through, it's getting harder for black women.
Honestly, it's getting harder for ALL women because that hold "predator" thing is prevalent in all races. There's nothing wrong with being sexy and titillating, but we're glorifying too many women using their bodies and the rewards that come with it. No one shows that many of these women end up no where, with no money, no family, no love. Look at Jenna Jameson, she's only gotten herself together because she has children now, and admits to having regrets about she made her money. She is a STRONG exception to women who use sex to make money.
People not keeping families together leaves your children so unprotected it's scary. I understand parents want to divorce, but really, why is our divorce rate in the US so high (50%)? And why is growing in other western countries? Abuse, abandonment, there are legitimate reasons for people to get divorced, but without a family, there's no protection for the women and children. I had days growing up where I was so mad at my mother for not FORCING my father to be there, then of course, I was mad at him fo rnot being there. He may have been a total jerk, could have tried to hurt me, who konws, but not seeing him or knowing him, or being able to tell a young man I was a "daddy's girl" did hurt me. I don't care what anyone says, girls without fathers do get treated differently from girls with fathers. Same for boys, more is expected from young men from a two parent household than those from a single parent household.
I'm sorry for the rant, this came at the perfect time.
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Comment by nycenthickqt on September 30, 2009 at 2:42pm - I agree with you HOTTER 100%. I ask myself that all the time. :(
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Comment by Siren on September 30, 2009 at 3:17pm - OG this was a great post and while I do not have kids myself I look st my nephews and Godchildren and the children of my friends and cousins and at times I see so much hope and other times I am discouraged. I look back at my childhood and reflect on the rules my mother, ather , grandparents , aunts, uncles all enforced and I remember being mad then but as a woman understanding the reasons behind the bloundaries. Too many parents have their kids as their "best friend" which is why these kids don't respect their elders. Too many parents GIVING their child everything and making them earn nothing leaving many of the youth with a sense of entitlement and lack of drive. I am still a Daddy's Girl not in the sense of material things but in the sense of having my father be there and be involved. I had extended family too I was not allowed to watch as much TV as I wanted to, not allowed to wear what I wanted, and I had to earn things. People teach your kids the value of not material things but of life and love...hard work...things that will help them be productive members of society.
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Comment by vb1364 on September 30, 2009 at 6:32pm
- The town I now live in is a dying aspect to Good Parenting as mother's and fathers. Many question the fact that I treat my child like an adult, although she is 9. However the average woman has 3 - 8 kids, enjoys pregnancy but not parenting, custody of barely half her children, and the knowledge that they share men with the next door neighbor. I allow my daughter to understand that your body is a temple, the man you bring into your life should not make your life harder neither should you allow him/her to do so. Work for everything you need and don't settle for less. When I watch kids 16 having babies twice in one year I wonder if I am in the twilight zone. Fighting & keeping the dads away from the kids because of the new man, arguing about the welfare decrease, I get sick to my stomach. If my baby wants something she has to give me the grades or complete chores to earn her way, as a parent I may not be with her dad, nor respect him much but I give him the ability/support to do his best for her in her eyes, without him having baby MAMA privileges. I feel that a child needs to know he/she is loved, needs to be told how smart, pretty, and important they are. Asked from young what they want out of life and encouraged to strive even at my baby age of 9 now. See something pick it up, Break something fix it, save your money and teach them interest and wages now. Give them skills such as cooking, laundry, cleaning, using the computers from young because to many grown men and women out here who can't even scramble eggs but can pop out babies and get drunk - pregnant in the club. As a woman/man look at the person your involved with if that is not the type of person you want your child to bring home to you, don't bring them home. If you treat your body as a temple and teach your child to do the same, we could decrease the issues and burdens as an overgrowing population riddled with the disease because a Queen isn't going to sleep with the joker, and if she does it won't be for the whole world to know. I know good single dads and good single moms who hustler, work, or try to be the best and I tip my hat to them but for the ones who think of their child as a way to pay rent to DSS re-evaluate your future because there is no pension or 401k on your EBT card.
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Comment by missjsp on September 30, 2009 at 7:33pm - Sad but true..you're mainly referring to my generation. I see this fuckery everyday...
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Comment by Elise' on September 30, 2009 at 8:43pm -
Even though I don't have kids...you are SOOOOO correct..I agree with you 100%!!!
I am sooo embarrassed about the beating in Chi, I mean I don't have children..but, SMH
I have seeen parents being mean to lil bitty babies (bottle babies)..in stores..
Kids and especially young adults, don't get the correct "kind of attention" from their parents.
I mean the acts and crimes that are committed against children ALONE ..they did not ask to be here..
of course not ALL parents.
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