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Baller Alert.com
For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
Ballerific Relationships - The Real Reason Why Men Get Married!! by Carl A Roberts
So...where do I start? I guess anywhere would be fine at this point. So I'll start off by saying that this blog is true to life (like the rest of my blog). It circles around a conversation I had with eight guys. Seven of them married and the eighth set to be in 2013.
I simply asked them this: Why did you get married? Besides the blank looks, discomfort in their body language, and the sweat trickling down the side of their forehead, as if I were an undercover secret agent for Women, I could tell that they were anxious to answer.
Now let me say this, I wasn't shocked or moved by their answers (cus I'm a Man and I know why Most Men get Married) I was more so moved by the answer that was not said...."Because I love her!" Wait, let me take that back. Woman, all of the Men...well most of them said they loved their wives at some point during the conversation, but their initial response went a little something like this.....
Me: So, quick question, quick answer...Why did you get married?
Guy#1: Because I was getting tired of hearing her mouth. The constant threats of leaving me and finding someone else made me say “Fuck it.” It's not even worth to start all over. So I'll give her what she wants, if it would insure my sanity.
Guy#2: Her family was on me, plus she was pregnant and they didn't know. I found the perfect mother to my soon to be newborn. That’s all a guy really wants. Plus I've been feeling guilty lately.
Guy #3: It was just that time. I've been with her for over 10 years. What else is there to do.
Guy #4: She's a good girl and perfect mother to my 2 boys.
Guy #5: Man, I don't know why I married her. Marriage is not for me! Honestly, I felt like I owed her for all of my indiscretions.
(All the men shook their heads in agreement to this, as if they too were working off of a guilty conscience)
Guy #6: I didn't want someone else to take her from me. That's one thing that kept hunting me. Having her leave me for another man.
(When I ask him if it’s more so about her leaving you or another man taking her from you, his reply was this)
Carl, my wife cooks, she cleans, and her sex is the bomb. There's no way in hell I’m gonna let that go. Trust me, I know what’s out there. And its nothing like her. I even told my side thing to step her game up or I’m out.
Guy #7 had no real answer. He just kept saying "I don't know man. I just did".
And guy #8 had the look of death on his face being that he was set to be married in 2013.
I then asked the men if love played a part in their decision to marry their women, and really started to go in, on what a relationship and a strong, true marriage consists of. It was like the male ego trip started to flourish and fill the room.
No one wanted to answer 1st, but as soon as one of the guys made a "I love my wife" statement, they all jumped up like their woman was standing directly over them with the same pressure they felt they were under to marry these women. All you heard was "Yeah Yeah, hell Yeah, I love my wife. She's the best wife a man could ever have."
Right!!! I mean I don't doubt the greatness each and everyone of their wives possess, but if their last second ranting and raving were true, why not say it faster than the next man???
Why not have that be the reason why they got married in the first place? Speak up guys...Speak Up? Lol (Saying all this in my head of course. Come on ladies, I’m in a room filled with ego driven, cheating men) I didn't want them to run back into their rat h***...I mean Man h***!
So although this is just a very small survey on men and why they get/got married, ladies maybe you should ask your man....Why did you get married...to me, or want to marry me. Before you are 10 years in, and your man is saying "Damn, Why did I get Married."
Carl A Roberts
Author of: Good Men Do cheat
www.goodmendocheat.com
twitter: 1carlroberts
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Comment by Miss Double Kiss on September 24, 2012 at 8:52pm -
I call b.s. because this just seems bias.
I know plenty of guys who've said they got married for LOVE first to their boys because they were tired of the single man's life.
Not every man is cut from the same cloth.
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Comment by BlkBarbie on September 25, 2012 at 9:41am
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WOW! At least they were honest, well sort of. Now, I have heard plenty of males say they got married for love, and plenty of females say the got married for their kids. I mean at the end of the day everyone have their own reasons. It's funny how they all agreed to love their wives, but cheat on their wives........LOVE?!!....rrriiiggghhhttt!
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Comment by Baller Alert on September 25, 2012 at 10:22am -
My boy told me he married his girl because she dealt with all of his b*******... said when the smoke was cleared she was still there and that is why he married her.
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Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on September 25, 2012 at 10:41am -
This makes sense to me. I think women get married to join the Married Ladies Club and of course the security. I think men get married when they get tired of chasing azz. *shrug* I hope there is love in there somewhere but I sometimes wonder when I hear the divorce horror stories. JMHO
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Comment by Siren on September 25, 2012 at 10:55am -
I would give this more weight if these interviews were done alone one on one. Most men are not going to share their "TRUE & HONEST" emotional feelings in a room with a group of men the EGO won't quite allow that. I do think that some of these rules do apply in certian cases. Sad to say these same men may find their a**** holding the shitty and expensive end of the stick one day. I think that before any woman gets married she should ask her husband to be "why do you want to be married to me" t he only person that can judge if it is the right answer is the woman. I know plenty of women that get married for all sorts of reasons.
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Comment by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on September 25, 2012 at 11:07am -
I believe every word in this. I think the answers given is more for 'stability' than love. Men and women have different perception on what 'love is'. Remember Diana & Charles?
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Comment by Dragon Slayer Puss on September 25, 2012 at 11:28am
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What's your take on Charles and Diana Spice? Mine is he wanted a good mother, gene pool and virgin for a wife and bearer of his children, and its as simple as that. Camilla was low class. Good enuf for #2 but not #1. Siren, what would be an acceptable response for you? Why do you love your husband? Personally. 50% of me wants to be married just to say I am, 50% for love. But last night I really asked the question is love enuf when I was watching Crissy? The men I love I would not ever marry without a shadow of a doubt. I think Crissy is wasting her youth waiting on a man that will prob never give her what she wants EVEN if he marries her. So, I say, it has to be about more than love. Hell, what will I gain by committing myself to you...if I'm stressin and beggin and pleading, and crying, and putting my dreams on hold, eg. her wanting kids, is it really worth it? F it, take a chance and see where it goes, with another man who wants u. That love ish is no guarantee. IMO
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Comment by Carl A Roberts on September 25, 2012 at 11:36am
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I touched on this topic in more detail in the chapter "I do...Not" in my book "Good Men Do Cheat" available on www.goodmendocheat.com It speaks deeply about why some men just won't commit. power 105.1 breakfast club touched on it a little today
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Comment by Siren on September 25, 2012 at 11:41am
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@LIALG the response from my husband that I found acceptable ws that i was his best friend and that he never wanted to get married before he met me. he said he never met someone who understands him the way I do & He said he loved me. I wanted to be married because of love, security, and stability with a man that allows me to be myself. One thing about my husband he has never tried to "change" me to fit into his life... he is confident emough to let me be me and never passed judgements on some of my mistakes. I am not easy at all and he knows how to set boundaries and check me without being disrespectful.
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Comment by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on September 25, 2012 at 12:45pm
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Siren always comes in here and gives me hope. :-) Carl, I think I may have to check out your book.
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