What Do You Do When His Mother Hates You?

 

This is definitely a common situation for a lot of women, especially if the son is the ONLY son. Mother and girlfriend don't always see eye to eye but what do you do when she absolutely hates you? When I say HATE i mean there is absolutely nothing you can do to make her happy. You being with her son is so threatening that she takes every opportunity to sabotage your relationship. I'm sure this is a feeling similar to what Chrissy feels when dealing with Jim Jones' mother on "Love & Hip Hop".

 

Although Jim's mother is over protective and very unreasonable, I believe Chrissy broke the cardinal rule when dealing with a man's mother: ALWAYS REMAIN RESPECTFUL! When Chrissy called Mama Jones a b**** she definitely put herself in a bad situation. Although Mama Jones didn't seem to mind, you can only imagine what would happen if she were to go to her son and tell him that she felt disrespected. Men are always going to take the side of their mother. At the end of the day, the woman who birth him will always come before any woman that may come around. He will always ride with his mother and there is nothing you can say that will change his mind. I've been in a similar situation, I hated his mother and she had an equal hate for me. The only thing we shared was love for her son. The easiest thing that we could do was keep it civil by staying out of each other's way. Luckily it worked out for us. When dealing with overbearing mothers here are a few tips to avoid the drama.

 

- Never Try To Turn Him Against Her - No matter what mom does, she'll always be right. Never try to turn them against eachother. If mom does something wrong, you have to understand the position that you have put yourself in, is it worth losing him over?

 

- Prove To Mom That You Love Her Son, But She'll Never Be Replaced -  Most mothers act irrationally because they are afraid that a woman is coming in and trying to take their son's away. They also fear  that their son's will get hurt. Assure her that you love her son and that her role as the "woman in his life" is safe and secure.

 

- Include Her In His Life - Every now and then plan a family day and make sure mom is included. This will make her feel more secure about her role in her son's life and she'll feel more confident in yours. Keep the line of communication open with mom. Remember, if you marry him you're also marrying his mother.

 

Last but not least - Never Disrespect His Mama - I don't care how mad she makes you, what she says to you or what she does to him, never ever disrespect the woman who raised the man you love. Never call her out her name, never bad mouth her and never embarrass her. Let her make a fool out of herself but never appear to make her the enemy. You'll be the one to surely lose in the end. 

 

 

 

Watch Chrissy's Argument With Nancy Jones (Jim's Mom)

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Comment by Candy on April 27, 2011 at 12:15pm
Nancy is unreal. She wants to be the women in Jims life only. If Jim stood up to her and let her know that she needs to start respecting his women then I think she wouldn't act like that. But he let's her run ram-pet and do what she pleases. If I dated a man and I did not get along with his mother I don't think I would care much. As long as she kept her distance.I'm a grown women and know how to act accordingly when I don't care for someone. As long as we both are respectful towards each other we should be OK.  I been around allot of people I don't like so what don't change nothing in my life.
Comment by luvsmoochez on April 27, 2011 at 12:16pm

It is important to try your best to get along with the mom (or mother figure) in a man's life. I have been lucky for the most part, but I did have one ex that mom's hates me. She liked me initially, but when she learned that I actually had my own mind. She wanted to control everything and so no matter how I tried to balance that it wasnt going to work. She couldnt run my household and hers. Sometimes there's nothing you can do, but the best bet is to try.

 

Comment by Sheli on April 27, 2011 at 12:59pm
I've only had one of my exes mothers hate me. I didn't do anything to her it was was simply b/c she had a bond with his previous girlfriend. Me & his mom never had any major confrontation we just didn't talk to one another. Whenever I came over she'd make it point to talk about how wonderful his ex-girlfriend was and she'd point out how different the two of us were. I remember she needed her hair done to go to a wedding and it damn near KILT (yes I said Kilt=killed) her to ask me to do her hair. I did it for her, but I made sure I dropped the curlers on her ear, just so she'd remember who the phuck I was, LOL
Comment by University of Smitty on April 27, 2011 at 2:34pm

lol@ sheli

 

I never had that problem.  Everybody's momma loved me; however, my momma hated everybody I've ever dated. 

Comment by Baller Alert on April 27, 2011 at 2:57pm
Never had that prob...
Comment by JustMe on April 27, 2011 at 3:23pm
My ex mother in law hated that I wasn't a hoodrat... We had a love/hate relationship... They are a family of f****** (literally) and she hated that I didn't screw around when we had problems... But she to this day will tell you I was the best thing to happen to her son...

Now for my mom & Sis in law it's the other way around... I'll tell anyone that my mom is a lunatic... But she loves my lil brother and is nice to whoever he brings home... But my nieces mom still holds a grudge cause my mom was agged when she got pregnant... But anyway...
So I guess you either try to get along or schedule the wedding when most of his family can't/won't be there...
Comment by tru2this on April 27, 2011 at 5:50pm
Most of the guys I've date have come from very hood families so when they first meet me it's like "Who the f*** is this uppity b****" lol but then they usually warm up to me when they see we have a lot of similarities. Like my current man, his mother didn't like me at all she expected me to be like this health food nut and she assumed I was a vegetarian lol but once I cleaned her chitterlings and cooked them better than she would I was in lol
Comment by DiamondDistrict on April 27, 2011 at 10:52pm

Refer her to a dating site or assist her in finding a man of her own. This type of behavior usually occur in mothers who rely on their sons as a primary source of income, and it doesn't help if she is not in a serious relationship herself. 

 

I agree -never disrespect her and it would be ideal for the guy to put his mom in check. I would def be looking for the exit sign if it got to intense :)

Comment by University of Smitty on April 28, 2011 at 9:49am
Totally agree about the primary source of income and no relationship of her own.
Comment by MissBling on April 28, 2011 at 11:53am
I don't believe that you should ever disrespect the mother. It is important to build some type of relationship with her. The same goes for him and your mom too tho'. I went through hell with one of my ex's mom but I never lost my cool and till this day she still loves me.

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