Comment by Sheli on August 20, 2012 at 9:34am

I don't get involved. That's between him and his babymomma, I'll listen to whatever he needs to vent about, but I don't take sides and I'm not jumping all rah-rah like Shay did asking about some damn child support, that's there business. Since I'm a girlfriend, my role could be temporary, but that child & mother are there forever. I wouldn't shun the child, but I'm not going to break my neck trying to play step-mother either, we'll develop our own relationship.

Comment by luvsmoochez on August 20, 2012 at 11:05am

I didn't like Shay asking about child support from a so called 'best friend' view or girlfriend. As a woman she should have been concerning herself with him doing the right thing, which is take care of his child financially. Again, this is when you have an opportunity to see what kind of character your dude has. As far as I'm concerned I don't get involved with other people finances or babymama/kid issues. If I am asked I may chime in. Playing the step mom really depends on how serious I am with the guy, how old the child is and how often the child is around the two of us. I really feel like if a man is only seeing his child once every other weekend that he needs that one-on-one time with the child alone.

Comment by Slim G on August 20, 2012 at 11:08am

I agree Sheli, "we'll develop our own relationship". I don't get involved with the politics of the situation, I just wanna know if this bish is crazy and I gotta keep my brass knuckles on me.  However, if we come to a point where he is ready to introduce me to his child, I will play my role accordingly, I would treat the child as if it's my own, if me and my baller are really serious.

Comment by Baller Alert on August 20, 2012 at 12:50pm

That picture looks ewwwwww...lol

Comment by DB on August 20, 2012 at 1:07pm

I'm currently dating a guy with a child from a previous relationship and I have to admit, sometimes I wish the child wasn't his because it sucks knowing if you begin to really fall for the guy, you'll never be #1. I think if we got more serious I could adjust to the role of stepmom but it probably wouldn't be easy. If he wasn't such a good guy, I'd run to the nearest exit because who really wants to deal with the extra baggage/mental drainage. SN: that picture looks like it smells like slobber

Comment by Cupcake10 on August 20, 2012 at 6:10pm

Ive never dated dudes with kids and my first husband didn't have any and neither does my current husband. To many issues with that ( most times) so to avoid unnecessary stress I don't get involved. Surprisingly there are a good amount of men without children ( and not the ones that don't have kids because they don't know or not claiming).

Comment by Dragon Slayer Puss on August 20, 2012 at 6:22pm

I usually just become a good listener if I get involved with a guy that has children. I don't get into to mess regarding him, his kids, and they moma(s) lol. But after going through a recent situation, I am thinking I need to reevaluate that. You never know what kind of man a guy is if he has no kids. All he can talk about is what he "would" do if he had kids or whatever, but u won;t know how true his words are if he has never had to step up and take responsibility in a situation like that. I almost only want to date men with kids now, because I'd know if they are responsible, judging from their past actions as it relates to their kids. Now, if I am wit a dude and he pops up wit a kid, I usually walk away. That's some risky ish knowing that he is raw doggin and is reckless about who he is with and how he does it.  

Comment by AlterEgo on August 21, 2012 at 12:26pm

I sadly had a situation like Shay and Scrappy #dumbassme... The guy and I have been friends for 10+ years, and he had 2 kids throughout time. We began "messing around" when we were in our mid/late teens, however I went off to college, and that's when he had a lil boy. I didn't care b/c I was in college doing my thing, and we weren't like that anymore. When I graduated, I moved home temporarily, and one day we were talking on the phone (still as regular friends), and he says some stuff like my baby momma just had a lil girl or something similar to that, and when I asked, was it his, he said yea... I'm thinking in  my head, (damn nigga u just tell me so casually and ish), but we weren't messing around like that, so I just congratulated him... When we finally did decide to seriously get together like a year later, ish went downhill. Him being my friend, and always having been around his kids anyway, it was natural for me to play step mom... It was cool til the bm began to do dumb petty ish like tell me not to comb the girl's hair, getting upset because I didn't invite the kids to my niece's birthday and so forth.. Whew, I could publish a book of what I dealt with b/c of her... I just decided that he and I should remain friends; no sex, drinking together, nothing. Just regular wassup my nig type ish! lol. Because of that I don't even do the kids stuff anymore o_O

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