Baller Alert Entertainment & Lifestyle “I asked for no cream. This has cream in it. No cream. Can we get it right this time?” I ask the Starbucks barista while shaking my cup at the counter. “…and you messed up my name on the cup, by the way. It is Nova, N-O-V-A! Do you guys do that on purpose? Are you fucking with me? Sorry, I’m frustrated. Yes, no cream… very little sugar. Thank you.”
“My wife made the perfect cup of coffee”, I mumble to myself before quickly and forcefully switching thoughts, avoiding reminiscing over what used to be.“Aye!”, I yell behind the counter. I see the Starbucks employee holding my cup reading “Noba” in messy black letters. I ask, “do you guys have Bailey’s Irish Cream? If you are going to use cream, use that. My wife used to-” I stop mid-sentence.
Why is my mind flooded with thoughts of marriage? Do I miss it? The day after I got married, I expected to awake with a sudden jolt in which I felt like a new man and wanted to do things married men do when madly in love. You know, make a lot of kids, buy a minivan, pretend to care about her day, and let her win arguments. Instead, everything felt the same… only I knew if we were to want to break up, it would take more than us agreeing to part ways. Of course, I wasn’t pessimistic (read: realistic) enough to think it would ever end.
It has been a good while since my marriage ended and I am still asked what happened and/or why I got married in the first place. Those two questions usually come together like Amber Rose and Blac Chyna. I can honestly say I answer very dishonestly. I DON’T KNOW WHYYYYYY!!!!
In my experience when talking to other divorcees, the easy route is usually taken and blame is placed upon the other party. In my case, I can’t do that. I can’t say she was the wrong person at the wrong time, was crazy, we didn’t mesh, or any other common excuse to quickly change the subject when a breakup is the topic. I can’t do that. She wasn’t a bad person and neither was I. Of course I had reasons to get married at the time, but were they good reasons? When something is successful – any reason appears to be a good one… and when something is a failure, even a good reason looks like a terrible one. Nova knows.
“Noba!… Noba!”, A screeching male voice calls out. The barista slides my reused cup to the end of the counter and walks away before I can inspect it. Next time I will bring my own mug, if there is a next time. A next time for what, Starbucks or marriage? Perhaps both.
Now I question you, the reader, why did/would you get married? What do you deem to be good enough reasons? Are you even interested in ever being married? Why or why not?
Thank You For Reading,
Twitter & IG – @NovaSankofa
