As a black woman, I have ass not aspirations. Attitude, not assertiveness. A baby daddy, not a husband. Twerking is my favorite hobby and finding a white man to take care of me and give me light-skinned babies with pretty hair is my life-long dream. I’m ghetto by nature; long nails, thigh tattoos and lace front wigs are essential. I’m loud by choice because people need to listen when a strong black woman is speaking. I never use correct grammar because ain’t nobody got time for that. I fuss and argue and complain. My attitude is raw and my words are real. I’m an independent woman and not afraid to let it be known. I pay my own bills. I feel the need to be the woman and the man in my house. I overcompensate with aggression to hide my vulnerability. And so on and so forth.

I’m scared. Because I’m a woman, I feel inferior. Because I’m black, I feel inferior. I’m stereotyped to be loud, ghetto, incompetent, unimportant even. If I dress nice and, God forbid, use a little grammar, I’m “acting white”. If I graduate from college and get a well-paying job it’s only because there was a quota to be met and I fit the bill. Any opportunity I’ve been given, I’VE BEEN GIVEN. I don’t work hard enough to achieve anything on my own so I walk around asking for handouts. I’m starred at. Lusted after. My body is a wonderland, but my mind isn’t worth exploring. I can bare children, but I’m never good enough to be a wife. If I don’t stand up for myself, I’m weak. If I show assertiveness, I’m over-aggressive. I get insulted from all angles of life and told to take it all in stride. Don’t complain.

If one of us twerks, we all twerk. If one of us can sing, we all can sing. If one of us is on welfare, we’re all on welfare. We get put in a box, told we’re all one in the same. If we act any different from how we’re perceived to act, God has performed a miracle. If we act how we’ve been perceived to be, we all get penalized and the stereotypes maintain their relevancy. We don’t win.  EVER. Even when we think we’ve won, taken a step forward, someone is always there to remind us of our downfall as a whole. We’re never seen as an individual. It’s always us and them, never me and her.

Our identity is tied up in the stereotypes that people have for us. A few of us fall into the stereotype, right where they want us to be. Many of us find the power to rise above, achieve beyond and grow within the process of proving society wrong. And it’s funny because that’s the art of being a woman in general; proving that you can be a wife, mother, business owner, caretaker, sister, aunt and friend all at the same time.

Realize that all women (no matter the ethnicity) have more in common with each other than they do with the male counterparts of their race. So overcoming trials as a black woman, as difficult as it may be, has nothing to do with being black. It’s hard regardless of what color you are. But it has everything to do with being a great woman first, despite the bias people have against you. Your race will not change that fact. It will only magnify it. 

@RebelledByDesign

Views: 782

Tags: woman

Comment by Baller Alert on June 20, 2014 at 7:15pm

Dope article... 

Comment by SMSLove on June 20, 2014 at 7:19pm
Im so jealous of Julia...
Comment by CocoBey on June 20, 2014 at 7:28pm

Love It!

Comment by Asimplebijou on June 20, 2014 at 10:33pm
Love
Comment by Inc on June 21, 2014 at 12:01am
So true!!!!!!
Comment by Nicole on June 21, 2014 at 1:25am
Story of my life and I guess a lot of others. Loves it!!!
Comment by Tone on June 21, 2014 at 1:35am
This mindset is what destroyed the black family. How do you have more in common with a white woman than you do a black man?
Comment by Christina Thomas on June 21, 2014 at 1:48am
It's human race (sex) vs. ethnicity/culture. You should indeed have more in common with a person that is the same sex as you because of your genetic makeup.
Comment by Tone on June 21, 2014 at 2:33am
I see your point but. But I still think in America we have the most in common.
Comment by Christina on June 21, 2014 at 6:04am

LOVE this!!!

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Your definition of a friend zone

Started by WorkInProgress in Talk Ish. Last reply by DiamondsNPearls 8 minutes ago. 6 Replies

I've been told a time or two that I put people in the friend zone. Sometimes it's unintentionally but other times its done for a reason. I'm patient with some but then the "honey moon" period starts…Continue

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